Too embarrased to breastfeed!

Lalaladybird

I'm due my 2nd baby soon and I'm worried that I'll have difficulty BFing again. One of the major problems I think with my first was that I just didn't want to do it in front of anyone except my OH. So when the inevitable rush of visitors occurs I feel like I have to disappear into a bedroom to BF then I'm stressing out that they're here to see the baby and I'm hiding out in another room for upto an hour at a time. Also when we went to my MILs for lunch after I'd had my 1st I'd go upstairs to BF and sit all alone in my OHs old room feeding.

I really want to BF but it's not like I can ban visitors for the first 6 weeks.....I'd love that lol! So I'm all stocked up with bottles and formula and a steriliser and feel like I'll just cave in at the first sign of awkwardness.

Does anyone else feel like this?

elmer

I too was embarrassed and this was 14 years ago, however as I thought that it was important that I did breast feed, I explained to my visitors that I was going upstairs to feed the baby (my 2nd too as I didnt manage at all with my first)

I am aware that it caused some problems with visitors especially my in laws who thought that it was ridiculous that i had to breastfeed, all theirs had a bottle and were fine!!!!

However all my friends were fine about it and after a while I was able to feed discretely in company, which was a big help as my son fed approx every two hours for 45 minutes a time.

I managed to feed him until he was 6 months and by then it was a great excuse for getting away from the inlaws for a good while!!

So give it a whirl, if it really doesnt suit or you cant deal with it all, well you can still go back to the bottle. But for me it was great, no taking out bottles, worrying about sterilising and all that stuff, and its way better for your child.

Elmer x

Sublime_2

Yes, I must confess I didn't like breastfeeding in public. With my 2nd child, I just about managed to do it discreetly when out and about, but it wasn't something I enjoyed at all.

Supermom

I know how you feel and totally understand even with baby number 4 who is now six months I still sometimes feel shy in front of people however the difference is now I'm confident enough to tell others to leave the room if I feel the need LOL.

You are the mum so its up to you to let people know when they can come to visit and for how long they can stay for you should never feel that you can't breastfeed in your own home.

I don't know how long you breastfed for last time but I've always found that the hour long feeds tend to stop by about 4-6 weeks so you don't disapear for so long.

I think you'll also find that confidence grows with each baby and in the end your babies needs overcome any other emotions.

Good luck

skiTTish

Why not pre express some milk and bottle it for when your in company where you dont feel comfortable breastfeeding ?

bexta

Hi, I'm yet to cross this bridge as bubs hasn't been born, but have you thought about maybe getting a scarf or muslin to just discreetly shield you and baby whilst feeding?

teachergirl

Hi there lalaladybird. I breastfeed both of my children . I am a total prude but I managed it . I also did not hide away either. Big baggy t shirts enabled me to feed almost anywhere . If we were out in public, unless someone came and looked very closely they would have been none the wiser. When you first start feeding it does take a little while for both you and the baby to "get the hang of it" so maybe you could do these feeds in private but once you know what you are doing it is possible to do it without people being aware and most people should be understanding.
I throughly recommend the National childbirth trust for very useful support and advice. I think if I had not have been to their classes I might have given up but they were both practical and realistic.
I do remember being particularly shy in front of both my parents and my in laws but as I fed both my children for nearly 18 months, in the end I did feel comfortable even with them. I felt proud of myself that I had done what I felt was the best for my children. Give it a go:)

margaretclare

I wonder if a large shawl or a pashmina would help? I have seen women feed their babies in all sorts of public places and yet no one passing by was aware there was anything going on at all.

During my career as a midwife I helped a lot of women to get started, and often, once they were away, they were away. We once had a car breakdown and my daughter and grandson were in the back seat while we waited for rescue. I said 'He'll want feeding soon' and she said 'Don't worry, Mum, he's just been fed'. We were quite close to a busy main street, people passing by and no one had seen a thing. She had him under cover of her coat and it was completely unobtrusive.

Ishtar

I did with my daughter (she's 5 now!). I used to cover myself (and her) with a sheet or blanket - probably made it far more obvious TBH. I got fed up with hiding in people's spare bedrooms when I visited them - and leaving my guests when at home.

Eventually, though, I got over my shyness....having said that, breastfeeding DD was difficult and we ended up adding in a bottle of formula, but that's another story. Initially, people seemed a bit uncomfortable, but in general they soon got over it. The only people who have a problem now are my dad and my step-dad, but I only know that because they shift in their seats or look at a point two feet to the side of me when I'm feeding!

With my second I haven't been so shy...so maybe when the time comes you'll feel a bit braver? I managed to offend an older man in the pub when I fed DS following a meal...wouldn't have minded but he had his face buried in The Sun... . DS is still BF at 13 months, and showing no signs of stopping...I'm the one who is trying to drop his feeds....

As elmer has said, give it a go...you can always change your mind, or even mix your feeds - although I know that it's not really recommended until BF is established. Had you thought about expressing breast milk...you'd get the best of both worlds then...and you'd maintain your supply?

Hope it goes OK.
D

McKneff

there is a big trenf these days for baby slings which would be ideal.
Big wrap around things. look good too.

Google it.

Indie_Kid

Is it just me, or does it look as though the baby is having a cuddle when being BF?