Too embarrased to breastfeed!

whitewing

I really wanted to breastfeed, but had huge trouble getting her to latch on when I was without support.

I also didn't like the idea of feeding in public. I would have done it though, except for the latching on difficulties.

My main problem though was the nightfeeding. I felt so ill; I'd had postnatal depression previously and I could feel myself slipping back because I was so tired. Within the first 10 days I was bottlefeeding and DH would have DD some nights so I got to get uninterrupted sleep. Have got PND now, but not as badly as it was threatening.

(My GP breastfed her DS in a cafe in the city and a man said, "That's disgusting!" She was mortified and said she didn't go out of the house for the next two months).

ailuro2

Give them prior warning, it's the latching on bit that's hardest to do discreetly. Say the baby's about to be fed and that it makes you really thirsty, could you they and make you a cup of not too hot tea, fetch me some juice, get a biscuit, whatever will take them a few minutes... and if anyone stays behind say 'can you go give them a hand please?.....

it works for in-laws who don't want to watch you breastfeed either...once the baby is latched it is like you are giving it a cuddle.

Also getting your OH to show them something in another room, or get your oldest to go off and draw or something with them.;)

Tell the women in advance, they will be more than happy to drag their husbands off for a bit to give you peace.

fwiw my boobs were massive, not easily hidden, but a nice baggy jumper and a strategically placed changing bag let me feed my DD in the front seat of the car without anyoner realising what I was doing. Good Luck, it's very MSE y'know. Great idea about expressing if you're going somewhere that you feel a bit more nervous about.

skintchick

I DID ban visitors for 6 weeks! We had a babymoon and only my parents and PILs were allowed in.

But you could try one of these: http://www.bellamama.co.uk/store/WsDefault.asp?Cat=BreastfeedingCoversandPonchos&Sub=60&isThumbs=Yes&Thumbs=200 they have poppers so they won;t come off while feeding (I never got the hang of muslins either).

I was frightened in public at first but soon realised noone could tell (and I didn;t use any covers) and now I feed happily wherever even though she often pops off to look round! Being 9 months she is very distractible lol.

But try a cover, try banning visitors (yes you can do this!) and just give it a go. YOu could try expressing but I did read it's not recommended in the first 6 weeks as it will affect the supply being built up. SOmeone else can probably give better info on this.

HTH - I think BFing is a great thing to do for your baby and you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable doing it.

tiamai_d

The one time I managed it out in public, most folk probably didn't notice what I was doing, but my face was like a big red light up sign saying 'I AM SOOOO EMBARASSED!!!'.

Plus all those images of babies just popping onto the boob no problem? Mine didn't know that! We had a good 5 mins of screaming from her and her mouth going everywhere but the target, then she wouldn't be on right... it was a full boob out job.

Somehow I managed to avoid feeding infront of most people, but it's lonely and now I wish I had just went and got on with it. Everyone else says that after the first time it's so much easier.

I did enjoy BF for the easy nights though, worth it for that alone!

skintchick

tiamai_d wrote: »

The one time I managed it out in public, most folk probably didn't notice what I was doing, but my face was like a big red light up sign saying 'I AM SOOOO EMBARASSED!!!'.

Plus all those images of babies just popping onto the boob no problem? Mine didn't know that! We had a good 5 mins of screaming from her and her mouth going everywhere but the target, then she wouldn't be on right... it was a full boob out job.

Somehow I managed to avoid feeding infront of most people, but it's lonely and now I wish I had just went and got on with it. Everyone else says that after the first time it's so much easier.

I did enjoy BF for the easy nights though, worth it for that alone!

Oh yes Tia! The screaming when they are little! DD took a while to get teh hang of it (10 weeks in fact) and it was hard until then but once they get it, it is sooooo easy and discreet. Worth persevering with and remembering YOU are embarrassed but noone else has even noticed!

ETA: here are some pics of how discreet it is http://www.bellamama.co.uk/store/WsDefault.asp?Cat=BreastfeedingTops-VestsTanksandCamis&isThumbs=Yes&curpage=2&Thumbs=200

Once their head is big enough you can;t see a thing!

tiamai_d

skintchick wrote: »

Oh yes Tia! The screaming when they are little! DD took a while to get teh hang of it (10 weeks in fact) and it was hard until then but once they get it, it is sooooo easy and discreet. Worth persevering with and remembering YOU are embarrassed but noone else has even noticed!

ETA: here are some pics of how discreet it is http://www.bellamama.co.uk/store/WsDefault.asp?Cat=BreastfeedingTops-VestsTanksandCamis&isThumbs=Yes&curpage=2&Thumbs=200

Once their head is big enough you can;t see a thing!

Don't know if you remember, but we had problems because she was sooo sleepy and feeding her was hard work.

I do agree that once you get the hang of it, it's a lot easier.

The wrap style cardigans were good though.

got-it-spend-it

I agree that cardigans are a godsend. I also now always wear two vests so one can be lifted up and one pulled down, meaning that very little is on show.

You do get used to it, and you do feel less self-concious. I barely bat an eyelid when BFing in public now, and it helps when baby gets better at latching on too.

xxvickixx

Support groups are great to go to as you can see how the other mums manage to feed discretely. We welcome pregnant mums to ours so they can pick up tips and ask the mums any questions there. It may be worth asking your midwife if there are any local to you.

madtrekker

When BF it is so important to feel relaxed in the early days. Don't be afraid to limit visitors or disappear off to feed in your own home. You shouldn't let yourself be put into a situation where you're uncomfortable in your own home - in any situation. Tell your OH how you feel and get his support so that you're not afraid to ask people to come back later or book them in for a timed visit so you can feed beforehand.

Make sure you also do the same in hospital. Oddly enough, I was quite happy to sit in bed flashing my boobs at all the other women and their partners in the ward but hated having to do it infront of my relatives and visitors. Like all first time mums, I didn't have a clue what I was doing and really didn't appreciate the audience.

I actually had a good excuse at home - my stitches were so uncomfortable for the first few weeks that the only place I could sit comfortably for long enough to feed LO was on my bed (or I'd feed her there lying down) so I always went to my room to feed her even when I was home on my own! She was probably about 3 weeks old before I could sit on the sofa without wincing - lol. By then she latched on well enough for me to feel ok doing it in front of close relatives visiting. You could always use this excuse!

purply

Buy a breastfeeding cover-prob my best buy. I bf anywhere and everywhere and the covers are discreet. i got mine off ebay-seller from USA and she had about 70 odd different designs. I tried muslins, scarves etc but they just didn't do the job for me.