Too embarrased to breastfeed!

Lalaladybird

Thanks for the support. I thought I'd get replies saying "get over it, do what's best for your child!"

I bf my 1st for 2 months but I was supplementing with formula from the first week because she was always hungry and it was agony. I was combining bf with bottle and expressing and I was run ragged so this time I've decided that I'm not going to express at all - it'll either be bf or formula. I also found that trying to bf and keep a blanket or muslin over us both was a really difficult task worthy of a contortionist, getting the baby lached on is the part where you are most exposed and trying to stop that muslin falling down at the same time was impossible (for me). I'll try using a big shawl I have though, maybe that will stay up! When my mum was round she was so discreet but I remember my MIL wanting to stand and chat to me while I was doing it, obviously because it didn't cross her mind that I'd be in the slightest embarrassed and she probably thought she was keeping me company but I kept thinking ahhh my OHs mum's just seen my boobs!

Milsey-Girl

I felt exactly like this too but as I was so determined to breastfeed, I used to say to visitors that my babies didn't feed well with lots of people around and noise so used to go off to another room and do it quitely with no disturbances. Everyone was understanding. If we were out, I'd do it in the car or discreatly in baby changing areas, etc. I fed my DD1 for 9 months and DD2 for 15 months and apart from OH, the only people who ever saw me properly was midwife, my Mum and 1 close friend. BTW, I'm a very confident and outgoing person and never had any problems with nakedness, etc, but it just didn't feel right for me:o. Best of luck to you:D

jcr16

i couldn't breast feed. i tried my best with all three. it doesn't matter how much someone said . it best for baby, it wonderful , it natural. to me it just wasn't. with my middle child i tried so hard for 11 weeks( he fed well, latched on perfect etc, no probs at all with the feeding itself, as did all three of my babies,but it was just me) . but i had a bowl next to me so i could throw up. and i even struggle to feed infront of hubby. i'm far from a prude at all. yet for me this is just one thing i could never over come. but i'm proud of myself for trying my best.

itsallinthemind

http://www.sweetnursing.com/breastfeedingponchoorganic.php cotton breastfeeding ponchos, due to pashminas being rather warm

jonty1970

I understand how you feel. I had my 1st baby when I was 18 and my inlaws made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I had to go and sit in their freezing cold kitchen to BF my baby, because the father in law thought it was disgusting
I binned the boyfriend a few years later and got more confident.
I think you shouldn't be having too many visistors though. You need your rest.
What about OH asking visitors just to come on Sundays?

pigpen

Have a 'time slot' for visitors and ask them to book a visit in advance.. new mums need their rest.. and peace!!

I simply banned visitors for the first week.. and definitely while in hospital!.. this is my time to get to know my baby and settle it down in the family and get feeding sorted.. I didn't need the added hassle.. even the midwife was sacked off after the first 6 days and the hv never came at all... she brought the red book to the door and I refused to let her in.

It is your home and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable doing anything there!!

I found muslins too tiny and found a crib sheet better... or simply a large cardigans that would pull over myself and baby.

After the first week I didn't care and fed mine everywhere.. if someone else has a problem.. they can keep it.. you are doing nothing nature didn't intend you to do!

Loopy_Lobes

awww yes it can be difficult BF in public but nowadays no one bats an eyelid and that's if they notice which they usually don't. A good tip is to find a corner if you're out and about or try and make sure there's a wall behind you so you only have to think about what's in front. If you're at someones house ask if you can sit in an armchair, you'll be better supported and won't have anyone sitting next to you putting you off. A muslin is a good cover up and loose tops with a vest top underneath are good.

If you still feel anxious I'm with the poster above who suggested expressing and using a bottle on the occsions when you feel it might be hard to BF in public, but best not to do this in the first few weeks until you've got BF well established.

If it comes to it there's nothing wrong at all with going into another room if you feel more comfortable that way, your milk won't let down if you're feeling anxious and you'll end up with a grouchy baby. You and baby come first, don't go worrying about how other people feel about you going into another room. Make sure you take a book or a magazine so you don't get bored

And good luck with the new baby! x

esmf73

Just do what you feel comfy doing. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks - it is what works for you and your baby. I BF my first for 6 weeks, then supplemented with a bottle for 6 weeks, then total bottle. With number 2, I struggled to BF for 2 weeks, so he was straight onto a bottle. Don't know why - think it was the stress / depression levels. Plus I got so fed up of having to feed my baby in a toilet when I was out and about!!

caevans

Agree with other posters, that you can feed baby really discreetly in public and people won't even notice you were doing it. Its all about confidence though isn't it? I used to express if I thought I would have to feed my baby in a busy restaurant/cafe as I would have felt embarrased. And I never ever fed my baby in front of my dad or FIL!!! I used to use feeding baby a great excuse to get peace and quiet from all the visitors. Used to sneak away to bedroom with mobile phone and laptop so I could text friends and surf the net whilst feeding baby and give myself a well needed break from everyone. Or read a book/magazine.Worth a shot?! Good luck

Nenen

itsallinthemind wrote: »

http://www.sweetnursing.com/breastfeedingponchoorganic.php cotton breastfeeding ponchos, due to pashminas being rather warm

wow - these look great! many thanks.

OP I found breastfeeding extremely difficult in public with ds1 especially as the only way I could get him to latch on in the first few weeks was to face him the opposite way to usual (i.e. when feeding from my right breast his feet would be tucked under my right arm). Not only was I more exposed, I felt I was decidedly odd and worried what people would think. My in-laws were definitely the worst; m-i-l would hover over me to get a good look and I found myself getting more and more stressed which definitely effected my milk let down. The problems you experienced with breastfeeding your first may well be linked to similar embarrassment and stress.

I think the posters who said you should stop visitors coming etc are probably right but know I would not have been assertive enough to do this. Would it be possible for you to ask for all visitors to come within a two hour slot at the same time each day? Then you could feed baby just before they come and when s/he starts to get fretful for next feed say baby needs some quiet time with you now and would they like to come back another day. My OH was wonderful in warding off guests who were just too much for me in the early days. Maybe yours could do the same for you?

Best of luck to you all.