The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

SimIsOnTheUp

heath480 wrote: »

Ignore the comments,if they are good AAers there shouldnt be any comments,only a warm welcome back.Are there any other meetings you could go too near where you live? Remember everyone is there for the same reason.with AA having so many different types of people,there is always going to be some you dont get on with .Give it another go.

Thanks Heath.

I think I'm going to try and 'man up' and go for it with AA.

Sim.

graemecarter

jeffgeorge wrote: »

Hi all,

I am still lurking here and are now 5 months without a drink. For me it had to be all or nothing and alcohol was making me loose things but most of all I was starting to loose ME and something had to give and the alcohol it was.

Five months later, life improved but the best thing is waking up everyday with no hangover and no guilt or remorse.

Hope I can help anyone who is struggling


Where do you all live im in Manchester

JG

Same here - always was all or nothing. No fun in just one glass of wine or a single bottle of beer.
Waking up knowing what I did yesterday, and knowing I haven't hurt myself or others through drinking (or a desire to drink) is wonderful. However, I know that if I got complacent, I could quickly be back there, amid all the chaos and misery.

SimIsOnTheUp

Hi Graeme,

Thanks for your PM.

I've replied also by PM.

It's the loneliness of this f'in booze that gets me.

I found myself in a pub, last Thursday, in the middle of the afternoon, on my tod, and surrounded by couples and families.

Felt very lonely.

I hope I can get rid of that feeling.

SimIsOnTheUp

Still can't believe I sold my stuff again, just for the dosh for booze too :-/

graemecarter

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

Thank you so much for those replies X

And 40sm ((hugs)) Missed our little chats.

I don't know what to do with myself really. Life is going on, nothing is falling apart....I'm still working, caring for my two gorgeous children. Drinking? Yep Managed to drink close to 2 bottles of wine Saturday night. Had a bottle of beer 10am Sunday because it made me feel better.

Thought I would try Gin and tonics instead. One or two a night seemed better than a bottle of wine. I managed a few weeks but soon returned to wine. What is it about wine!!!!?

My weight is going above 10st which it's never done before. I don't feel healthy anymore

I don't want this to be a depressing post though, because lots of the time I am very happy. It's just the drinking that I need to stop.

Much love X

Great post. I had this conflict in my head regularly.
I had a good job, money in the bank, happy and healthy family. So why did I drink to excess fairly regularly?
I couldn't reconcile it to myself with my current life.

Why did I do something that I disapproved of, and regretted? It wasn't a one off either.
Why was I harming myself with alcohol (drinking to excess is self-abuse) if everything was fine?
I wasn't drinking at 10am in the morning, but I was finishing my drinking quite late in the early hours of the morning.

I drank that way because I am an alcoholic. I don't think 'normal' people drink that much, that often.

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

From what I've been told and have read on here FH, it's the drinking that makes us feel the way we do, a bit lethargic and no motivation. I haven't really quit long enough to find out, but hopefully will get there soon.

Good luck xxx

Not so black and white in my case. I could be 'get up and go' when drinking or going through a non-drinking phase. Alternatively, I could be lethargic when not drinking, or regularly drinking.
No real pattern. However, when I changed myself (i.e. did more than just stop drinking) then that lethargy lessened.

In my experience, 'quitting' was not successful unless I did something very different and changed. I tried for years to 'quit', but couldn't as I didn't do anything any different.
There are very few people who get the required willpower needed to stop drinking when they have crossed certain lines.

graemecarter

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

Thanks. I get what you are saying. I guess I'm just not sure why I have the struggle in the first place.

I'm content, like my life, love my husband, have great children. I should be jumping for joy! Crazy stuff, this life. X

I could never work it out either (and I tried for years). It was when I realised I was alcoholic that it all made sense.

graemecarter

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

I stuck around for a good while last time and did really well. But like you say, it's a habit.

GC and RA come in here and talk such sense. But I can never, ever see a point in my life when I can walk into a local AA meeting. My dad did that. But I am not him. I am not irresponsible and put my family before anything else. I drink over the recommeded limit. I am still happy but I worry about my health. I don't want my children to be left without a mum.

My 5 year old asked the other day "will you die one day?" I said yes, but not until he had children of his own. Granny is still here and I'll be like her for his children. Can you imagine if I wasn't? And it was self inflicted?

I never thought I'd get help from others for my drinking, nor would go to an AA meeting. No-one starts off drinking 2 bottles of wine a night. Alcoholism is progressive if untreated. No street drinker starts off drinking there - they often have families and jobs etc that they lose over time.
There was a poster called Tangochick who lost her husband (in his 40s) to alcoholism. He believed that alcohol still wouldn't cost him his life when he was in a hospital bed and dying.
My drinking progressed slowly, but surely. That's why we often don't notice it, as it occurs over a long period of time

If you're worried by your drinking and cannot cut down successfully, then it may be more than a habit.
If I was speaking to a smoker who was worried about his/her long term health, but couldn't stop smoking, I would say that person was addicted to smoking. It was more than a habit.

I am glad I didn't drink today as it means that I have taken the responsibility to try to be the best father I can to my children. Damaging myself by excessive drinking (even though I love my kids dearly) was a selfish act - even though I never admitted it at the time, but I put drink before my children. By not drinking today and doing what I can to ensure I continue my sobriety, it means that I am putting my children and myself first. Not alcohol.

graemecarter

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

Thanks X

I'm going to make this place a regular haunt of mine, because I need the help for sure.

RA~ I'm the woman you would never guess in a million years had a problem with alcohol. In my thirties though How I have hidden it so well for so long.....I have no idea.

I know that I hid the extent of my drinking from others. Then I would feel guilty about the secrecy and the shame, and thus I would drink more.....
I know alcoholic doctors, pilots, HGV drivers, policemen, teachers, etc
The alcoholic is regularly the master at putting on a front and deceiving others (and themselves!)

graemecarter

heath480 wrote: »

Seems to be a lot of people really struggling at the moment with the Alcohol.

When I decided I was going to give up totally I knew it wouldnt be easy but I made it the most important thing in my life.

No Alcohol in the house and I included Alcohol free beer,think that is very dodgy as it would eventually lead me back to the real thing.

I stopped going in Pubs at all for ages,I go in nowadays but only if eating.

I have only been able to stay sober by constantly talking to other Alcoholics in recovery.

Doctors didnt help

Counselling didnt work.

Doing on my own didnt work.

All the time I was trying to stop I just got worse,took a number of years though.

Today I am free of the obsession with Alcohol,even if not actually drinking I would be planning my next drink,what to get,where from,how much etc.it was really hard work.

Love my sober life.

I wish everybody well.

Nite nite.:A:A:A

Thanks Heath - I feel and did the same

In my limited experience, while we alcoholics may drink differently, we often 'feel' the same. And it is the feelings we can relate to in other alcoholics. And that makes not drinking possible, and then it makes it quite marvellous