The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

40somethingmum

Hi Budgie :wave:

Hope you are well

Love

40Smxx

budget_babe

Sorry in my rush,

I forgot to say: welcome back also HS and DM. JO really hoping you are ok?

Waving to Dear Lurky and Miss P and anyone else who is online at the moment. :wave:

Ok gotta dash, I really shouldn't be here ......................

Budgie xxxxxxxxxxxx

Ps Hi to 40 sm xxxx

Pippilongstocking

Lurkio wrote: »

Its a VERY short step from there to "No one likes a potty-mouth"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Trust you Lurks - no one likes to hear or read 'toilet language' - said in my best stern 'mummy' voice.

Waves hello to all - sorry been a bit AWOL - just work/life/house in glorious unbalance, as always.

:A

graemecarter

DEBTMONKEY1A wrote: »

Overall my ongoing relationship with booze has changed somewhat....when I DECIDE to stop there are NO cravings/bells at all & its remarkably easy (compared to before or a year or so ago)....but the ammount I can consume is much greater now...my poision of choice is vodka & I can (to my shame) nearly get through a bottle (70cl) in an evening sitting & still be coherent.....etc...!!

I could stop drinking - my problem was I could not STAY STOPPED

At my 'buying booze' time there are no 'urges' but almost like a robot off I go & buy some!

Then there maybe an urge - you may not be aware of it as it could be subconscious. However, your brain is making your legs carry you to the off-licence and hand over money, so that urge is coming from somewhere in your head

Now its obviously doing me no good at all (& is bloody expensive) & recently I had a clear 8 days in a row & fwlt so much better (I wrote my own little diary!)...& i worry that if something happens to me health wise -how will it affect my partner....she wouldn't know what to do!

When I stopped I felt great, and when I drank again I felt !!!!py. So why did I pick up and drink again? Because I am alcoholic.
I put alcohol before relationships with people I cared for. I was hurting them with my drinking, but yet I didn't stop. I didn't know my relationship with alcohol was that strong, but it was as I wouldn't have drunk like that if I wasn't an alcoholic.

My quandry is that I KNOW I can STOP cold turkey without any issues (perhads rubbish sleep for 3 days maximum) but I don't choose to....???! Like I want to punish myself? Have had some counselling last year but not got to the bottom of it (!!! I'm so complicated!)....I'm now just so bored with booze & really want to get my health in shape (aiming at getting a personal trainer session once I've been 'clean' for a few days!)...

If you can stop and want to stop, then you will stop.
If you find you cannot stop, and drink when you don't want to, that could be alcohol addiction.
Smokers who want to stop but don't stop (costing them money and health) are probably addicted to nicotine. Much like drinkers and alcohol.

Before (say last year) if I stopped I'd get quite big urges/cravings but nothing now....so SOMETHINGS improved??? Whilst I don't really follow the 'poweless over alcohol' & 'higher power' bit of AA (no disrespect to graeme-he's been great in asking how I've been the last few months!) I do admire those who use that system!

Use whatever works - the best system is the most effective one. Different strokes for different folks

I now know that trying to moderate (in my current mindset)-does not really work for me (in my diary 1st night is one glass then night 4 is back to square 1!) so certainly giving up or a good say two month spell dry to get my health back (& lose a bit of my beer belly!) is what's needed...plus all the money saved could go on a mini holiday!

If I set myself targets, in the unlikely event I managed to keep them, I would then hit the bottle with a vengeance when that period was over. Thus, I hadn't sorted out my drinking - just pressed pause for a little while.

So....my own little target is 4 days from now alcohol free (waking up on a saturday am with no hangover would be a novelty!) & then extend!

Hope you don't mind me re-joining the party....(!!)

Welcome back - ALL ARE WELCOME:T

Miss_Piggy_2

Hello Budgie!:wave:Words of wisdom as always.

Me and Piglet have just been out to plant some more carrot seeds. I have two tubs already on the go but they don't seem to be growing very fast. Any other gardeners out there finding things a bit slow going?

Off to work soon....bleugh....going to be hard after a week and a bit off!:rotfl:

Miss P
xx

Pippilongstocking

Miss P its been cold and therefore things are slower this year as the soil isn't as warm as it should have been by now - also carrots are renowned to be slow starters - have faith - all will be well!

LOL who said this thread isn't multi-dimensional?

DEBTMONKEY1A

Thanks Graeme....& also for not forgetting me (!) Hope I did not offend you when I said the AA thing didn't 'float my boat'....wise words as ever.....I DO think I've some underlying issues with previous stuff re:death of Dad 10 years ago...step-mum having all the inheritence (!) etc....& possible mild depression (don't really want to see GP as do not want to be put on prozac!)...also the last year (especially from Jan-August) was a nightmare looking after my G/F...having seen someone go psychotic (& watching then deteriorate over an 8 day period) really opens your eyes...luckily one of my good traits is communication skills...I managed with a lot of work to get her in hospital on day 8.....some people take ages to get 'in the system'.....funnily enough its done her good-shes now 200% better than before she was ill & has a different approach to stress/worry...etc...she's still under the care of a nurse but 'touch wood' its been many months since any episode & it's been diagnosed as 'brief psychotic disorder'....so no life-long condition....no I just need to get ME sorted out! Will do some garden planting today....19 degrees & cloudy so perfect!

DEBTMONKEY1A

Miss Piggy-I've just started gardening (complete novice!) & things ARE slow....the warm weather through till Sunday should be good but next week again there's talk of FROSTS (god...were only 3 1/2 weeks off the longest day!) & a return to cool/cold Northerlies...don't you love the UK?

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Thanks Graeme. I love your attitude!

However, what can I do, if there is no alternative support available where I live?

Also, if we accept everything, then aren't we giving away our power by doing so? :-/

I wish I was as laid back as you, that's for sure!

Kind Regards,

Sim.

I worked to get this attitude. I was not born with it. It takes a degree of effort to keep it. All worth it though.

I am not saying you accept everything - just that I now have a clearer idea of what I can and cannot change. I try not to waste time and effort and emotional energy on the things I cannot change.

I don't know your area or know too much about your circumstances, but all I know is that meetings helped me and many other people too. I was advised to go to as many as possible initially, and then I could make the decision whether to carry on or not.

maman

:hello:

Good to see lots of old friends. That's not old as in old..don't want to offend anyone.

On that subject (that's not old age, the other one) I'm with fay in that I certainly don't agree with everyone on here all the time and certainly believe that more is achieved through good manners whatever you may be feeling. I've often questioned whether I'm on the wrong thread particularly when AA comes up or some posters get a bit preachy.

That being said, I completely understand how sim must be feeling. In my previous job I had to make lots of referrals to Social Services and Health agencies and I was endlessly frustrated and angry with the way the figures were massaged to fit the target driven culture. Cases were closed (when they very obviously weren't IYSWIM) to get the numbers down because appointments weren't kept (by the very people who if they were organised wouldn't have needed the help). It's also perfectly true that staffing is low (both numbers, pay and morale). We particularly suffered because of edging on to higher pay zone for London weighting. I won't ramble on but sim, you are right to fight for the help you need but try not to let it wind you up. You'll achieve more putting your case calmly but strongly and it won't get you stressed.

Hope everyone (including the carrots) are enjoying weather being a bit warmer. Have a god afternoon.

ETA: That's have a good afternoon, now who's getting preachy:D