MSE Parents Club Part 12

CAFCGirl

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

CAFC girl - as Jenny says, even the mummy with the easiest of labour/births will be feeling tearful and emotional right now. Your body has gone through a huge trauma and your hormones are up the wall.

In time you may find it helpful to speak to someone about it but let things settle a bit soon.

Have you written a full in-depth birth story? This really helped me and even now I read it occasionally to remember what it was like and to reassure myself that it was the way that it had to be.

BIG HUGS to you and Landen xx

half the problem is i still cant remember most of it which in itself freaks me out, because i feel out of control.....so even if i wanted to write it, i physically couldnt


i knew i would have these days so im ok about the crying etc..... its just the pain mostly and lack of memory which are making me emotional....

Krystaltips

3onitsway wrote: »

We're going here, http://www.ardlamont.com/location.html, which is Tighabruaich, PA21 2AH (I have no idea how to say that!)

Looking on the map of where that is, if you roll up to the next land mass above it there is Loch Fyne and Loch Gilphead... I've stopped off at the first loch on the way to the second... We stayed at a place called Stronachullen very near there... An epic journey, but well worth it!!

jennynoo

CAFCGirl wrote: »

half the problem is i still cant remember most of it which in itself freaks me out, because i feel out of control.....so even if i wanted to write it, i physically couldnt


i knew i would have these days so im ok about the crying etc..... its just the pain mostly and lack of memory which are making me emotional....

You sound remarkably logical for someone on the emotional post birth roller-coaster.

tiamai_d

CAFCGirl wrote: »

half the problem is i still cant remember most of it which in itself freaks me out, because i feel out of control.....so even if i wanted to write it, i physically couldnt


i knew i would have these days so im ok about the crying etc..... its just the pain mostly and lack of memory which are making me emotional....

You could call your GP and ask if they do a debriefing, someone will talk you through your labour and the birth and anything that happened before or afterwards.

Its a good way to find out what happened, why it happened, if it will happen again and ask any questions you may have. Even if it wasn't 'traumatic' as such, if you have any unresolved feelings, it is the best place to begin putting them to rest.

Krystaltips

tiamai_d wrote: »

You could call your GP and ask if they do a debriefing, someone will talk you through your labour and the birth and anything that happened before or afterwards.

Its a good way to find out what happened, why it happened, if it will happen again and ask any questions you may have. Even if it wasn't 'traumatic' as such, if you have any unresolved feelings, it is the best place to begin putting them to rest.

^^What she said!

Fitzio

3 - Sorry, don't think I could come and meet you! It's a 3 hour car journey from where I live. It's because it's so out of the way out at the islands and there are probably no main roads and you have to drive around so much of the land because of the water! If you were stopping over in Glasgow or somewhere, I could possibly meet you though.

CAFC - as others have said, I think everyone gets tearful. I was a wreck for about 2 weeks, and I thought it was because I had failed at breastfeeding and DH tried to do everything to give me a break, but that made me feel like he was much more suited to being a parent than me and that I was useless. If it hadn't been that, it would probably have been something else!
Also, I never printed my birth story either because I can't remember most of it. I did ask DH several times to talk me through what I can't remember, but he was getting things mixed up too! I did type it up of a fashion, but it was a bit too lengthy to bother posting. To be honest, I was quite traumatised by the whole thing, but I did get over it much quicker than expected. I hope you do too.

SusanC_2

jennynoo wrote: »

Susan - just out of interest - I know that when you get pregnant your temperature stays high but how long does it stay high for? I seem to have been much warmer then Erin was born than normal.

I don't know - I've not read anything which mentioned that.

keelykat

Evening Elliot has been grumpy on and off today again, his tantrums are driving me loopy!! He was good at play group this morning, then it kind of went downhill from there. He's not napping too well due to being too hot and chewing on his hands/dummy/toys etc like mad.

Was looking forward to a nice relaxing afternoon, lunch out to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary....was noisy with elliot screaming at us!! Oh well. Better luck for next year i guess!

Keely.

CAFCGirl

thanks all

I didnt realise about the de briefing thing. am tempted to ask HV on monday when she's round....

i think the fact that i knew i would cry and have days like this has made it a bit easier, but obviously before his birth i didnt realise all the things i would have to cry about LOL
DH can remember most of it and i know the basic run down of events, like an order of service LOL but I cant remember "myself" in the moments so it feels like it didnt even happen to me....and ive just suddenly been given my baby, but missed out on this huge part of getting him here..... if that makes any sense!

got-it-spend-it

CAFCGirl wrote: »

GISI - thanks for your post. ive had a few teary moments today. one was just staring at Landen realising he's this whole complete person and that i would die for him in an instant...... and then one was because my back was killing me and then i started feeling like it was all my fault that i've ended up in so much pain because i didnt labour naturally.... although i know thats silly and the thought process has left me now, thankfully.......

Don't feel bad for feeling emotional- it's totally normal so soon after having bubs. My way of looking at it is that I did the best thing for me and my baby at the time, and I have had to put up with the physical pain that has caused me. I don't regret my 'decision' to have a c-section one bit as I have ended up with a healthy, happy amazing baby and I have no idea what would have happened if I'd carried on labouring. Maybe I would have had a straight forward birth, just a very long one, but that wasn't a chance I was willing to take.

I know not everyone feels like this, but I honestly see birth as the thing I had to go through to get my amazing little boy. For me it's not a rite of passage or a sign of my womanhood.

CAFCGirl wrote: »

half the problem is i still cant remember most of it which in itself freaks me out, because i feel out of control.....so even if i wanted to write it, i physically couldnt


i knew i would have these days so im ok about the crying etc..... its just the pain mostly and lack of memory which are making me emotional....

Did you see my post yesterday about birth afterthoughts? It's a chance to go through your notes with a MW and understand why things happened the way they did, and why decisions were made at the time. Does your hospital offer anything like that? You might find it really useful, although I'm only now doing it and H is 7 and a half months old.



Work went well- I've been offered the hours I requested in my old job, or the hours I want in an assistant manager role closer to home. I need to have a good think about as I really don't know what I want to do at the moment, but it's nice to have the option.