MSE Parents Club Part 12

tiamai_d

cazscoob wrote: »

what a great idea Tia!!!!

BM im heading to Newburgh, funly enough its also the name of a neighbouring village to us!

I am so tired doesnt matter how early i go to bed i spend the rest of the day yawning!

Worked out great, she ate the full sandwich and the floor didn't get any at all! (the floor is on a diet)

boogellyboo wrote: »

That would be me Now, how do I get Isla to start taking a dummy :rotfl:

She doesn't have to use it, accesorise baby!

workinmummy

Fitzio wrote: »

Sorry WM, I keep meaning to say, you need to give your OH a right good kick up the jacksie! You can go to a funeral and not get p***ed. It's a choice. I don't know how you put up with it!

Apparently not! It is the law to get p1ssed at every given opportunity.
It's actually the complete sh!te that come out of him that pee's me off more.
The won't be long (5 hours later, still not back), just going for a pint (20 pints later), just waiting for a taxi (3 hours).

Plus the obvious avoidance of anything parental over the past few days. And him thinking that I should be fine with it all - work full time, do everything when I get home, put both kids to bed, sort stuff for school & childminder, get up x times in the night and get up 2 hours before he drags his lazy aris out of bed to get himself out to work, plus oversea and taxi Joe to his activities and parties etc and all household shopping.

Actually all the above is why i despair for Glam. And really hope that her OH pulls his socks up and starts helping her, or she will end up like me, beyond exhausted when she returns to work.

The very sparse comments of "I don't know how you do it?" just aren't cutting it anymore. I wouldn't have to do it, if you shifted yourself.

I didn't cut my nose of to spite my face yesterday, and did leave Alex with him, whilst I went to Judo with Joe. Sssh is the only time I get some peace and get to read my book, which i blubbered through the final pages of. (Whist trying to hide it from the other parents)

Keeps texting asking how long am I going to be ignoring him for? Well if I answered I'd no longer be ignoring him would I?

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

susan, I've been sat here mulling about you whilst doing a feed

You're so sweet.

weezl74 wrote: »

Some thoughts about pregnancy number 2.

perhaps try living/imagining 'as if' it's already here and you are already PG and needing 15 hrs sleep per day. (obviously I hope it won't be like that, but maybe planning for the wort means everything else is a bonus )

I'm planning for the worst and hoping for the best.

weezl74 wrote: »

What extra resources do you need? (naps, extra food, babysitting so you can nap, a cleaner once a week while you are heavily PG?)

Because I'm self employed, if I'm very ill I should be able to get whatever Incapacity Benefit is called these days (they changed the name and I forget what the new name is) and we would use some of the extra money to pay for a cleaner.

weezl74 wrote: »

What do you need Alice to be aware of/do/cope with? (encouraging fergie to use sippy cup would have been a good one here!) edit: Alice sounds like a very thoughtful understanding little girl, I wonder what she'd say if you asked her what things she could do while mummy lies down (ie not asleep but just quietly on the sofa)

That's one of the key reasons for having such a large gap. Currently the only times I lift/carry Alice are if she's hurt herself, we're in a rush or sometimes she just asks for a carry because she likes cuddles. Apart from flushing the toilet (because it's broken and you have to press it twice quickly to get it to work) she can manage that all by herself. She can (and does!) get drinks for herself and can almost make lunch by herself so if OH left lunch ready made in the fridge, she would be able to bring it through to the living room. Also if I got up at 8.30 (when OH goes to work) and slept during her usual quiet time I'd be able to stay up till 7.30pm (OH usually gets home by 5.30pm). Alice is always very concerned about people when they are ill and/or tired (she even told me last week that she doesn't want snow because it makes our friend with ME more tired than usual) so I expect she would be fairly understanding.

weezl74 wrote: »

What tasks that you do now can you let go of/compromise on/delegate? (we let go of the idea of using reusable nappies while I was exhausted, also when fergie was little we bought bread rather than made it, can you maybe get flour milled already from somewhere?)

We would use wipes instead of flannels/cloths and use bought flour. I have a rough cooking plan in my head (which I'm planning to write down) which would make it fairly low work and therefore easy for OH to keep up with and me to contribute to as and when I was able. We would consider using the laundrette for some washing. I would order groceries online instead of going round all the shops looking for the best deals/reduced items. The vegetable plot might be slightly abandoned too.

weezl74 wrote: »

What approximate timeline will the PG have and what does that mean about DH's working patterns etc...? (ie if he is still going to be doing his extra christmas work, what will that mean your day will look like then, assuming you'll be 7 months PG then...)

He'd go out at 1pm and get in around 10.30pm. We'd switch lunch and dinner so we would have dinner midday before he went to work and then "lunch" for the evening meal. Because Alice usually has her quiet time from one to three I'd only have four hours of her being up while I was on my own so would actually be easier than during regular work.

weezl74 wrote: »

what extra people resources do you have? (I know you probably don't want your mum's involvement, but is there anyone from church you trust who could maybe have Alice for a couple of afternoons a week? If you don't like to ask a favour, could it be a skills swap? DH sorts her garden out this summer, so that next spring she has Alice while you sleep?)

If I'm ill I should be able to get some help from Homestart. Unfortunately of the three people who would be willing to help and I would be happy with, one just had her fourth baby, one has ME and one doesn't drive.

weezl74 wrote: »

what things can you do now to give yourself maximum help later? ( I filled both freezers with meals, stockpiled dried goods and decluttered every conceivable cupboard I could think of, also automated as many financial tasks I could think of.)

You know me - I always have ridiculous stockpiles. We would probably start using the milkman for milk and eggs (he's too expensive to justify using usually). Assuming we conceive reasonably quickly, the worst bit would be at a time when cashflow is good so wouldn't need to keep a close eye on bank accounts. Am planning to get tax returns done before TTC which would mean next one wouldn't be due until January 2012. OH is able to keep up on basic data entry for essential accounts which would keep them ticking over. I'm also planning to make some blended soups and smoothies and freeze them in cubes so that I can have small frequent portions if need be.

weezl74 wrote: »

Not sure if any of the above is useful, but I offer it all with love

Yes, it's always useful to go through things again and check if there's anything I've not thought of. And it's lovely to have someone being so thoughtful and concerned about me.

SusanC_2

Mazcabs wrote: »

TT is still a pain with HF and I dont know what to do, he is practically dry at nursery right through the day. He came home last night minus nappy and wet himself despite constant prompting, went and changed him, came down and proceeded to wet himself again straight away. He did this 5 times in total plus one was a poo aswell.... he knows what to do cos he told me what he does at nursery but just wont do it here...:mad:

What happens if you tell him to sit on the potty/toilet rather than just asking if he needs it. I used to sometimes just tell Alice to rather than just ask if I was fairly sure that she did need it. Do they tell or ask at nursery? Does it happen when he is doing particular things (when he night be engrossed and/or not want to stop what he is doing)? Or had he had a lot to drink? I found if Alice had a lot to drink in a short space of time it was more likely to catch her unawares.

BeenieCat wrote: »

She did a PND check on me too (is this standard for a weaning chat?? lol!) and said i scored 20/30 so need to see GP asap for some pills... She's gonna ring the housing woman too. Not sure what she's going to say but she thoroughly dissaproved of the restraining order comment. Thanks for all your replies, not sure i feel strong enough to go into battle with her via complaints though. Even the HV said this woman has an abrupt manner but this will work in my favour if we can get her on board.

Mine did a PND check on me at the weaning thing (but lied and told me it was a "questionnaire" :mad:). If you want to do a complaint, we can help you. It could be worth speaking to Citizen's Advice too - they were extremely helpful when I had a Council Tax dispute. (But I understand if you don't want to pursue it.)

tiamai_d wrote: »

She doesn't have to use it, accesorise baby!

:rotfl:

cazscoob

Weezl would you come and live with me and get me back into some sort of order? since Charlie was in the hospitla i seem to have fallen behind in everything and need a good kick up the bum! im sure Fergie and Kessie would have lots of fun and lots of children to entertain them lol

i dont think my hairdresser is coming? not like her not to phone?

weezl74

SusanC wrote: »

Yes, it's always useful to go through things again and check if there's anything I've not thought of. And it's lovely to have someone being so thoughtful and concerned about me.

sounds like you have it all in hand

very tiny other thoughts:

our HV has kindly agreed to get the surgery to coincide K and F's jabs/development reviews/weigh ins for minimal visits. Is that worth considering for your midwifery appointments (ie timing them to fit round other appointments?)

I'm not sure if you're thinking of a homebirth, but this also means more of your ante-natal care can be at home (my booking appointment 28 and 36 week check were done here)

well done for all your great plans, I think you are the most organised person I know

*admiration vibes*

delain

Ohhh I love 'questionnaires' and 'worksheets' social workers used to foist them on me when I was a kid and it was always so transparent what they really meant :rotfl:

They tried to give me antidepressants but I kept saying no, seen too many people start taking them and end up a mess, I prefer to be miserable in the real world than doo lally in la la land So I started just writing what they wanted in the questionnaires. Questionnaires indeed :rotfl: I'm quite capable of working out whether I'm depressed or not.

Might not be best for anyone else to think that though, drugs just dont seem to agree with my family

boogellyboo

Beenie - I've not got anything useful to add to what the other's have said but big hugs for you.

WM - I really hope your OH starts doing more and seeing why he's not being helpful soon. Sometime's I swear they wear blinkers to family life :mad:

Susan - Alice sound's like such a sweet, caring girl :A It seem's like your really ontop of thing's in preparation for no2.

Isla's wearing her leopard print babygrow, she look's like a mini Bet Lynch :rotfl:

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

our HV has kindly agreed to get the surgery to coincide K and F's jabs/development reviews/weigh ins for minimal visits. Is that worth considering for your midwifery appointments (ie timing them to fit round other appointments?)

I don't think Alice is due any routine things while I was pregnant but one thing I am going to do is not agree to so many appointments. The midwife kept seeing me every two weeks (and sometimes consecutive weeks) throughout because I was so ill but really it didn't provide any benefits and it made me feel worse because of all the effort of going. (And OH had to take time off to drive me when the three minute walk was too much.) I've got a blood pressure monitor and plan to get some full spectrum urine dipsticks so I can keep an eye on things on the weeks I don't have an appointment.

weezl74 wrote: »

I'm not sure if you're thinking of a homebirth, but this also means more of your ante-natal care can be at home (my booking appointment 28 and 36 week check were done here)

I'm defintiely planning on a homebirth. (Which reminds me - I still haven't finished my birth plan.)

weezl74 wrote: »

well done for all your great plans, I think you are the most organised person I know

*admiration vibes*

I'm organised because I'm lazy - it makes life easier. I'm totally a person who likes to plan in advance too. On Sunday, I started telling two friends at church about our baby name choosing process and they sat down because they knew it was going to be a long story. (And one of them said, "Ha! I knew there would be a spreadsheet involved." when I mentioned the spreadsheet.)

ETA: And I'm glad you don't think I'm just some crazy weirdo.

My_Fathers_Daughter

3onitsway wrote: »

I know we say it all of the time, but i'm really enjoying the 14 month old stage. She's like a little person now with a personality!

You took the pee out of me for saying this a few weeks ago



I could do with some suggestions to cope with my stroppy boy! He is so much fun at the moment but the second he wants something that he can't have or wants to do something he throws himself down and cries real tears *rolleyes*

This stretches to everything - the other morning I picked him up to leave the house whilst he was trying to escape with his push-along and he was still clinging onto it and refused to let go!! I had to physically prise his fingers off it which of course meant tears.

Then he was trying to get out of my arms so I let him walk to the front door, helped him to get out of the porch and let him walk to the car. I opened the door for him and he started trying to climb in...when I picked him up to help him get into his car seat (he physically can't do this bit himself) he began with the tears all over again. So 3 separate strops in the space of two mins max.

The pushalong has been relegated to the garden because it was causing too many strops (he had started crying when he ran into something rather than shouting 'bump' like he used to).

I don't know if it is because he has started to do so much for himself recently (feed himself, take his shoes off, take his nappy to the bin, carry his bottle to daddy etc) that he wants to be independant about everything?

My assistant keeps saying 'wait until he is 2 - then you will really be pulling your hair out with him' :rotfl::rotfl: