Learning to live my dreams not trample on them

clearmydebts

Maybe your OH feels a bit overwhelmed by it all. I know I am having phases of being overwhelmed since OH got hit by the car. Realistically he won't be off the crutches before the baby is born and the accident was so unexpected, esp with me supposed to be taking it handy as well. I know I have been snappier with him because he can't help around the house....

savingholmes

Hi CMD

Yeah - he's not used to me being relatively helpless and having to sit back and wait for others to do stuff... Your OH's accident would be enough to shake anyone.... Will he get compensation do you think?

I've had a friend come round today which was nice... she's brought chocolate cake as it was someone's birthday in the office which is nice... She's also picked plums for me.... from my back garden as well as taking some away for herself...

I've just interviewed my cleaner and she's hopefully going to start at 8am tomorrow!! She has a young child too - so wants to do it while her daughter is in nursery until 1pm. so will need to leave me latest of 12.45pm... It will be great to be clean and tidy again LOL We have new neighbours and I've felt I couldn't invite them over because the house was in too much of a state... They would ideally like a house tour as altho our house looks identical on the outside - just the mirror image... a couple of the bedrooms have been walled off in a weird way - ours have 3-4 ft more width than theirs....

Everyone wants to see us at the same time... as well as a possible leaving party this weekend... my parents want to come over.... don't know what to do... At the same time if the house is clean and tidy that will be a weight off.

clearmydebts

Yum yum to plums!

Great that the cleaner is coming SavingH. That does sound like it will be a weight off for both yourself and your OH. I think if I was a full-time worker like you I would defo get a cleaner. I couldn't justify one while I am a SAHM though. The things I would like doing would be the bathrooms every week and things like the oven being deep cleaned. The rest I think I could manage. Oh well, I can dream!

With regards to visitors, I would try and stagger them so your not having too many at onceand trying to do too much.

OH won't be looking for compensation. Perhaps if it was someone outside the company he works in he might have pursued it but TBH once he is recovering from the accident that is compensation enough for us.

savingholmes

Hi CMD - didn't realise he'd been knocked down by someone at work... As long as they are treating him well that's the main thing....

Y it will be so good to have a cleaner again... she is definitely coming tomorrow at 8am - how exciting!!! It will be nice to stop being embarrassed about the state of my house - and as I say I think it will cut down on our eating out and rowing with OH...!

tirlittan

Hi SH!
Ah, having a cleaner - lovely! Hope she does a good job.

I'm trying to educate my bf to sort things out as he goes, but it's proving to be a very difficult task.He's just so messy! And I'm the one who has to clean up afterwards if I want to have a tidy house.

savingholmes

Hi Tirl - know what you mean about educating other halves...!

Well the cleaner today - was a lovely person but my 13 year old son is faster than her!!:eek::eek::eek: She's in her 20s and I expected her to be fast but she spent about 3.5 hours on the living room, and then did a bit of cleaning in the hall, my downstairs loo and swept my kitchen.... I think she also did the counters - but she didn't clean my floor, the stairs, landing or anywhere upstairs I was gutted.

I spoke to her part way through and said I'm sorry but if you want to do this for a living you're going to need to learn to speed up.... Think about it like an exam, where you need to complete x amount in the time and need to allocate your time accordingly... I think she realised she wasn't coming back 'cos at the end she apologised for focusing so much onthe small things and missing the big picture... I would feel guilty but even in the lounge there are bits on the carpet and babybel squashed into it so its not like she did a stunning job!!

I've rung the agency and asked for someone else - and said they need to be a lot faster... and said I didn't think I should pay their bit of the fee since I wasn't satisfied with the service which they seemed okay about... So hopefully I will get someone else but don't know when....

DS is still packing for camp but is supposed to go in less than an hour... OH is going to try and get home on time.... Just feeding him tinned spag bol now.... Nice to see him in nicely ironed clothes - that he has washed and ironed tho....

clearmydebts

Wow - you are a hard taskmaster SavingH! But then you have had some excellent cleaners in the past so I suppose you know what you are looking for!

That's the bit I would hate, being in the house if the cleaner was. I have a thing about being present when people are at work, tilers, carpenters etc. I always feel really awkward and never know when to offer lunch/dinner/tea etc.

Bet your DS can't wait to go away on camp! Is your DD away as well?

satchmo1

I don't think you're a hard taskmaster, but I agree it feels awkward being in the house when someone's labouring away for you. When my children were at school and I was self employed (and making megabucks, sigh), I had a lovely lady who came and did the ironing. She could do in two hours what it would take me all day to do, so it was a bargain! We've stayed friends over the years even though I've moved away and my children are now parents themselves. (Love you, Pat!)
Hugs, Satchmo xx

savingholmes

Hi CMD ad Satchmo

I know what you mean about being in while someone works for me... ;)I'm used to it tho LOL and wouldn't let a brand new person in my house with my key without vetting them for a few weeks first... Well the second cleaner walked in and went "what cleaning" .... "what did she actually do?" so that made me feel better... She said I should ask the company for the money back that I spent on the first... so may do that yet.... but may do it in writing as chickened out on the phone...:money:

I am giving the second one a chance and she is coming to do 3 hours or so on tuesday... Let's hope it works out better this time... They told me she is one of the best - where the other was brand new so lets hope it works out....

DS has gone to air cadet camp - seems okay so far:cool: - altho his main mate that he went with has bottled it already and is coming home!!! :eek::eek::eek: (Cost his mum £50 to send him plus £50 on boots plus the shoes etc) I'd be so shocked and embarrassed if my DS did that. He has always said he would go even if his mate didn't and was so looking forward to it so I'd be amazed if he came home.... He worked so hard getting ready for it, doing loads of washing, ironing etc... the other lad - his mum does everything for him and he is not even allowed to walk the 2 streets from his house to mine so to me she is setting him up to fail in life by being completely over-protective...

I was teasing him yesterday saying they would shave his head while he was there... and even tho he'd watched about the camp on you tube and it had film of kids with all different hair styles for a moment he believed me and his mum had to tell him I was joking!!:eek:

OH took me out for tea last night and then went and collected DD - she is now back with us probably for the rest of the holidays....
I don't think I'm healing that well - I keep pushing myself and overdoing it which with this kind of operation is counterproductive. I'm really tired very easily so can't see me going back to work yet... which is a shame money wise but can't be helped

milann

Hope the next cleaner is better than the first one. Didn't sound too good at all. I don't blame you getting a cleaner.

I went to see my sil twice over the last week - complete with meals for us all as she is recovering from surgery too. I flew around her place tidying a few bit for her and actually enjoyed it. At home I can start a job then sit and get distracted and find it so boring. SO why was someone's else mess so much more interesting than your own??????????????? Maybe I need to do a house tidy swap LOL

Please take it easy and don't do too much - easier said than done I know but you really do not want to undo the good the surgeon has done. It'll take longer in the long run if you overdo at this stage. How long is it now about 3 weeks?

Enjoy some girlie time with your dd - hope ds has a fantastic time - he'll sleep for a week when he gets home.