inappropriate for a 12 yr old

clairibel

I think its wrong for the child to hear and see all this....yes sex is natural but theres a time for everything and maybe if they weren't as boozed up they might not be as rampant and selfish and consider others feelings.

I mean even in my 20's i felt sick if i heard my mum bonking her partner when i lived at home, its just lack of respect and like the others have said i would be very concerned for my childs safety if the carer's were plastered as no-one can look after a child properly after a few drinks...scarey :eek: They would be around all the other drunks as well swearing, talking about stuff kids should not be hearing etc...not right for 12 year olds.

I personally would not let them stay over until ex grew up!

Errata

So........ one daughter is in tears because of the behaviour and the other daughter is upset and embarrassed because of the behaviour.
On what planet are these adults not abusing these girls ?

*Louise*

Just another thought....

OP - do you know anyone who could speak to him on your behalf (his mum, for example) and relay your concerns?

I don't think it should be left down to a 12 year old girl to confront her father and girlfriend, she is obviously embarrassed enough

I personally would definitely be sticking to day visits only until this was sorted out.

shaven-monkey

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Or borrow from Jilly cooper and get her to run in and interrupt them and scream "What are you doing to my Daddy?"
.

I think this is a good idea, better if both girls do it at once. Preferably repeatedly.

An alternative,
If your daughter doesn't want the night noise but enjoys the company of her new friend, invite the ex's GF's daughter to stay at yours overnight.
No need to explain why. If your daughter doesn't want to listen to the horizontal mambo then she doesn't have to.

Blackpool_Saver

I would send a solicitors letter.
If that didn't work I would have a chat with a social worker.

DVardysShadow

jamespir wrote: »

so now its controlling is it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

sex is natural yes she could be a bit quieter but theres nothing wrong with it

James, you miss the point. Just because sex is natural does not mean that those doing it have totally genuine motives.

There is evidence here which suggests that the ex and his gf are overtly sexualising the environment. I would not suggest that a household where people talked was unnatural, but I could point out that things being said were intended to cause an effect with the other parent.

MyRubyRed

Both children are obvioulsy upset by what they are hearing/seeing. On one side. the dad and his new partner may be so wrapped up in each other that they don't realise the impact of their actions but they need to be made aware. I don't think involving a Social Worker is the right thing at this stage and a note/letter from the OP may sound like sour grapes?? As a first step do the girls have a reasonable relationship with the woman? I doubt that they would want to a full blown conversation on the issue but as a first step could they drop some hints to her. If she is by any way a good parent she will understand and deal with it.
I'm not an expert here though

jamespir

Errata wrote: »

So........ one daughter is in tears because of the behaviour and the other daughter is upset and embarrassed because of the behaviour.
On what planet are these adults not abusing these girls ?

that's not abuse though

being embarrassed about something does not mean your being abused neither is being upset

if that's the case you'll have to lock up my parents and many other parents cause trust me sometimes there well embarrassing and when we was little they used to shout at us sometimes which upset so they should be locked up for that

jeeez no wonder we turning into such a nanny state

yes dad needs to cut down on the screaming in the wee hours

frugalqueen_2

The original poster has information of a safe guarding/child protection issue and that person must inform the correct authorities. Exposing minors to sexual behaviour is inappropriate.

jamespir

frugalqueen wrote: »

The original poster has information of a safe guarding/child protection issue and that person must inform the correct authorities. Exposing minors to sexual behaviour is inappropriate.

there not actually exposing them to sexual behaviour its inadvertly being heard through a wall