inappropriate for a 12 yr old

fantasia322

jamespir wrote: »

buy her an ipod she wont hear anything then

Very MSE lol bit of a cop-out too

GEEGEE8

If he/she are leaving sexy clothes around the house it sounds like they just don't get it at all.. very odd..!
Hope you get it sorted out

JBD

jamespir wrote: »

buy her an ipod she wont hear anything then

The usual 'intelligent' contribution we would expect from Jamespir.Hard to believe he is a parent himself. Personally I wouldn't leave him in charge of a flea.
OP, this is unacceptable behaviour around a 12 year old. As another poster has suggested I would write a letter, clearly state your objections in a calm and polite manner and address it to both of them. Also photocopy it.
It's great that your daughter enjoys staying and likes Dad's girlfriend but she doesn't really need to have their sex life shoved in her face [so to speak]. Surely they could restrain themselves for a couple of nights a week?

Errata

What are the motives of a father in exposing young (ish) children to goods of a sexual nature which are left around the house ?. Some would view his behaviour as inappropriate at best and at worst a form of sexual abuse.

*Louise*

If your ex won't talk to you at all how on earth do you arrange contact, any changes etc??

He sounds rather immature imo.

Is it possible for your daughter to go over during the day then return to your home at nights? He would have to ask why then you could 'discuss' his inconsiderate behaviour.

I would also have a major problem with anyone regularly taking my child to a pub until 10pm so he could get drunk with his girlfriend...that doesn't say 'quality time' to me....

BigBlackcat

Your Ex and his girlfriend do not sound like the kind of people that I'd want my child to be around. Their disregard for the noise they make in the bedroom is discusting, and they seriously take the children to the pub while they get plastered??

That is not a healthy environment for your daughter to be in, and I would put a stop to it immediately.

mackemdave

Why cant you write a letter to your ex and get your daughter to give it to him next time she is over there....

coolcait

If the biggest problem is that your daughter can overhear them having sex, then - depending on the type of noise she's hearing - she could casually remark about how much dad/girlfriend snores. And how she couldn't sleep last night for all the grunting...

(That one left us celibate for a few weeks ).

Or she could be sympathetic about the girlfriend's awful nightmares ("I hear her screaming every night, poor thing").

If dad doesn't take the hint from that, then the problems go deeper.

As is the case if Ann Summers items are strewn across the house. Are you sure that this is the case? If they're in a newly-laundered pile of clothes on the adults' bed, then I wouldn't count that as an issue.

But, what does 'left round the house' mean? You're in a better position than we are are to gauge that, because you've talked to your daughter.

Personally speaking, I suppose my children could describe my (eminently sensible, of course) underwear as being 'left around the house' because some bits are on the clothes line outside (and then brought indoors); some bits are in the tumble drier, or in the pile of 'tumble dried things' in the kitchen; some bits are on the 'delicates' drier (from Bettaware, many years ago); and some bits are piled up on my bed, ready to be put away in my (ahem! :eek::o:rotfl:) drawers.

I appreciate that your teenage daughter is distressed about the fact that parent is having sex. But it's not entirely clear that she's going through anything worse than teenagers whose parents are still together will go through.

DVardysShadow

Just a thought to throw into the pot.

Is it possible that ex and his gf are doing this deliberately, in order to send back some kind of message? Some caution required if this is the case.

jinky67

BigBlackcat wrote: »

Your Ex and his girlfriend do not sound like the kind of people that I'd want my child to be around. Their disregard for the noise they make in the bedroom is discusting, and they seriously take the children to the pub while they get plastered??

That is not a healthy environment for your daughter to be in, and I would put a stop to it immediately.

Point 1:

oh my adults having sex, the horror of it:eek:

Point 2:

my parents used to take me and my brother the rugby club every weekend and got drunk, we survived, its hardly a crime;)

I do think though, if the OP daughter feels uncomfortable someone needs to say something to her father about it.
The Dad and the GF might not realise how loud they are being.
Cant the two girls together explain to them, that they can hear everything that is going on?:cool: