Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

themadvix

Oh NG, you are so allowed to feel sorry for yourself!! You’ve got an awful lot to deal with and those bigger kids cost more than the ones you had back then! As SC says, you are in a much much better place to deal with this than you were ten years ago - not just physically but in mindset and knowledge too. And it might not feel like it, but it’s a temporary setback - you will get there!

 But it’s totally fine to moan - on here and in real life. What’s the issue with family and friends, don’t they understand what a financial pain this must be? Even without the added frustration of having worked so hard, surely they can see that the loss of the majority of your income will have a major financial and emotional impact?

 Come and moan here, you’re always welcome! x

newgirly

Thanks Vix and SC you are very kind 🙂

Family and some friends know what’s going on, but I’m not sure they quite understand what it means. Dh is of the view that in general people have their own lives and don’t give that much thought to others situations so I shouldn’t be bothered by it. It’s me being a bit sensitive I think, little things like me saying, “I’m sick of cooking don’t know what I’ll do tonight” - just get takeaway then. “Why did you get dh to cut and colour your hair, don’t you know the hairdressers are open now?” Lots of “loads of people are in the same boat” comments, that type of thing. Every little thing has to be planned and there is little scope for spontaneity. That and our wages are less than half what they were ☹️ Plus apart from work friends and my school mum friends from years ago our family and friends are very well off. 

Still today has been a much better day 😬 I got dd out nice and early to primarni as ds2 wants jeans for his birthday and doesn’t care where they are from 😂 We went to m&s which was so empty and she chose a birthday cake, I was a bit worried about getting it in the food delivery after last weeks missing items! Then we had an iced coffee in the sun. Total over spending in what should be no spend July £3 on leggings for me from primarni. Everything else from food budget or birthday pot. It’s the first time she has been to the shops in months so it was great, although getting there when it opens is essential.

Jessy103

I agree with SC and Vix, you are certainly entitled to feel sorry for yourself! You've most definitely got this though NG and we'll be here to support you any way we can x

newgirly

Thanks Jessy, it does help massively 😊 It’s everyone on here that has made it so much easier being supportive and often questioning my decisions when they need to be, dh doesn’t really want to get that involved in the detail of all this he just wants to get his head down and keep going.

Had a chat with my brother this morning and we both are worrying that they could decide to close the business after the Xmas rush. There’s no indication they will but I wouldn’t be surprised. My work is piling up untouched now as nobody else knows what to do, dh is still waiting to find out how many hours he will be running the firm on. I think I’ll only commit to paying the 10% op allowance (on the factory mortgage) pre October from the offset pot, everything else can stay sitting there a good while longer. 

I‘Ve been reading some debt free diaries, some make you realise how lucky you are, some make you cross as they overspend so much while in debt and won’t alter their lifestyle. I think I need to be mindful of this myself, I’m kind of back in that place where we need to make massive cuts to everything and I’m not sure I’ve fully accepted it yet or the uncomfortable conversations saying no to things I can’t afford to do with friends, who often think cut backs mean less holidays and not I can’t afford lunch out 🙄 I think some of the problem is not wanting other people to feel uncomfortable as they are well off. 

I’m probably dwelling on all this too much, dh is meeting with his boss tomorrow, perhaps he will finally let him know how much of a job he has left! 

Busy_Mee

Hi NewGirly. Just catching up and so sorry to hear your news. If anyone can get through this I am absolutely certain you can, you are so resourceful and your financial plans so well thought out.  

I suspect what will happen is that you will plan for the worse and things will turn out out better than expected. Just rubbish though when you are worrying about it all x

South_coast

Do you need specialist equipment to do what you do, or could it be something that you could turn into a side hustle going forward? I'm thinking maybe small-scale commissions on Not On The High Street or the like, and teaching people the skills as an adult education class (the type they do with baking and throwing pots etc)

South_coast

P.S. I know what you mean about the debt-free diaries - some of them just make you want to yell at them!

themadvix

I echo the comments about the DFD - it’s so frustrating sometimes!

SC I have a feeling that specialist equipment is needed for a least some  of the work, but I bet there must be something transferable that NG could use...

newgirly

Hi guys, we need the equipment and have also signed to say we won’t take their customers. Their products are already on NOTHS as well as their own posh shop and online shop. We gave them our equipment as part of the deal so would need to buy more, space is the main issue as some of these machines are big (and expensive) and we wouldn’t want to use our own factory as the rent would be higher than the profit. But side hustles of smaller jobs do often happen, but there’s very little in it as the cost of materials has sky rocketed in the last two years, COVID has stopped it all dead but it may pick up soon I hope, it’s pocket money rather than an income really. 

I did look at possible teaching jobs for dh but you still need a teaching qualification and he’s severely dyslexic so that would be very hard for him. Plus the amount of equipment would be large I would think. I might mention it to him to see if there is any possibility of a more relaxed basic thing he could do though, people are interested in learning about it. 

South_coast

Ah, fair enough x