Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

Firegirl

My brother works for himself and has wife 3 kids and very low earnings. He is the most content person I know!

He doesn't give 2 hoots about what other people or family think. He chooses his lifestyle. When I'm home we go to parks have picnics. Car picnics in winter! Wrap up and go on outdoor adventures. We pile round his open welcoming house and we all bring something with us. I made dinner at his house and brought all the stuff with me a few times and it's so relaxed. A small house but everyone piles in.

I've gone on but I wish I could be more like him!!! His family are so content and happy with what little they have. His family all know he's broke so we just do things his level and rarely have a meal out.

How does this ramble help you I'm asking myself. Maybe you could change family habits of meals out. Maybe see if when you arrange things with friends, try and ask them to do free things like a walk and coffee rather than a lunch or a dinner.

newgirly

That sounds lovely firegirl, that is just what I would like it to be like

Asking friends for coffee I do already, but still get lots of invites out which is nice in some ways. Family are somewhat more set in their ways, its often what they like to do, if not they will politely decline, so we don't do much anymore.

Anyway on a more upbeat note, total weight loss now 5 & 1/2 pounds. I'm having about 1500 cals a day as 1250 was too little ( you were right aj ) and no alcohol - which may account for the bad mood this week :rotfl:

edinburgher

Just wanted to drop in and offer support really NG, it sounds like a frustrating time for you at the moment.

Your point about living standards is an interesting one. Even skint, your living standards are far superior to what people experienced even 40-50 years ago. The problem with your spendy rellies is that they are in the grip of hedonic adaptation (or as my Gran used to say, 'much wants more'!)

When people are used to having a nice life, they very quickly get used to it and expectations of day trips, expensive gadgets etc. moves beyond entitlement and towards something that they are hardwired to expect. So yes, a step back to a slightly simpler life when needs must is very hard for them to grasp.

In a lot of ways, it just shows how good they have it! So next time they are pestering you, just remember that it comes from a good place and that they honestly aren't trying to wind you up

Which is why living within our means is such a powerful tool for both achieving our life goals, but for keeping our expectations in check. It's the reason that MFWs can do things like living on one salary as part of a two salary household that other people would find impossibly austere.

ajmoney

newgirly wrote: »

Anyway on a more upbeat note, total weight loss now 5 & 1/2 pounds. I'm having about 1500 cals a day as 1250 was too little ( you were right aj ) and no alcohol - which may account for the bad mood this week :rotfl:

Good news on the weight loss. So long as you feel you have enough energy to keep going then it sounds like you have got your calories sorted x

smallholdingsister

WELL DONE on the weightloss.

As a 20 something in a new job with a new boss...just after my lightbulb moment he suggested buying me and another newbie a pint in his local. We all had separate cars, he showed us where we should park et.c

Emerging from the pub, I had a £25 ticket, which at the time was a week's grocery money.

His response was "oops a daisy, I have always parked there"

Had it been my fault I should have offered to pay, but nope.

newgirly

I agree about the living standards Ed,we have life much easier with more luxuries seen as normal, but in other ways its much harder.

The housing market has changed so much. My kids won't be able to buy a home on an average wage near their friends and famil even if they go without for decades. For example my grandparents bought a 4 bed semi on a decorators wage (gran was a sahm) its a ten minute walk from where i live now, the same house is now worth at least 950k. What single income family could afford that on a painter and decoraters wage today?

Its all irrelevant though I guess and we have to just do the best we can, I dread to think how worse things may have been had I not found mse, its a good dose of common sense thats not always around much.

Anyway its been a great evening as I met dd after work to make use of the meerkat movie code and we watched the fabulous Tom Hardy playing the kray twins in legend. Our old factory was right by where they used to live. I told our office manager what film we were seeing tonight and she said "oh yes, my Aunt went to school with them, she said they were right little s*ds" hmm, one way of putting it :rotfl:

edinburgher

I can't argue with that NG, it is one of the challenges of our time, particularly if you live in London or the SE. It is the same all over, I can't think of many places where a single working person could afford a 4 bedroom house and to support a family?

As someone trying to climb the ladder, all I can do is grit my teeth, plan and hope for the best.

My Grandparent's house multiplied in value by 50x since they were its first owners (in the 50s!) RIP

wantabetterlife

I am another one who things you are really turning a corner NG...its all about the small steps. Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey...he is an American money person..a bit like Martin Lewis. If you need inspiration you tube some of his videos, there is one called "breaking the chains of debt" he also has a radio show daily and you can download the app.

newgirly

Have heard the name on elaine at mfin3 's blog but have bever looked him up, I shall do now though, thanks.

I am ahead of myself this week, Meeting my friend yesterday was cancelled as her ds was poorly, so i've cleaned the whole house and done all the washing. Ironing today and maybe a trip to visit a friend. Otherwise i have a free day , no plans, no kids, don't know what to do!

edinburgher

*Relax* :coffee: