Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I I do believe my parents mean well but they so often call my son their 'second chance' and frankly, he isn't.

:T Well said Alex, you've come a long way :T.

Enjoy yourself NG, and accept parental meal offers with grace - you'll get the money when they're gone so let them share a little now when they can enjoy it .

ahem_47

NG - it is great that you faced up to your father about the passports. More importantly, if I am reading your sentiment right, you are relieved some of your situation is out in the open.

Now (I think) you have to brooch one of the other "skeletons in the cupboard".

newgirly wrote: »

As for someone to talk to, its tricky,my wonderful best friend is very wealthy and is quite sensitive to the fact others are not so well off, she knows we are no where near as well off , but would be shocked probably to realise the situation.

I think she would feel uncomfortable chatting as usual about her life , what they have been up to etc. and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.:o plus I am quite private and its our business

WONDERFUL BEST FRIENDS are hard to come by. They are both best and wonderful because they CARE and LOVE or as someone once defined - "one who knows all about you and loves you just the same". Do tell her about your position in the robust way you have (at times) been able to explain here. My bet - she will know!

It is great to read the "enthusiasm" you are feeling but there will be voids. Filling these voids is going to be a challenge for you but you have to do it without going off the wagon.

Enjoy your holiday. I am going to butt out of your thread for the foreseeable future. I will take this opportunity to wish you all the best in the real challenge you face - I will "lurk", as you MSEers call it, but you need space.

All the very best xx

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Of course it's not up to them to dictate what happens in your sons life, you need to have far more confidence in your abilities as a parent Alex and if you cant manage that, then fake it until you do

We are off to centerparcs in Sherwood forest for four nights, we have been a few times before but not for a couple of years and never with the parents, could be great........or not :eek:

Ds2 is having a mini party tomorrow, his friend rang me tonight to ask if they could take DS to the park while some others set up my house (while I'm at work!) Forva surprise party, I suggested I set up quickly in the morning when he has left for school, I have told DS as I know he would panic at the state of his room :rotfl: ive raided the holiday supplies so the have fizzy, crisps and chocolate , dh will blow up some balloons tonight

NG: Thanks, I do have a lack of confidence and parenting seems to be nothing more than a game of trial and error some (most? :eek:) of the time. I have always tried my best to be a good father to my son and will continue to do so. Perhaps my best isn't good enough but it is my best and I fail to see how I can do better than that.

Anyhow, have a good time in [STRIKE]Shottingham[/STRIKE] Robin Hood (even the famous figures are criminals) county.

Also enjoy the party.

gallygirl wrote: »

:T Well said Alex, you've come a long way :T.

Thanks, GG. :cool::beer:

gallygirl wrote: »

Enjoy yourself NG, and accept parental meal offers with grace - you'll get the money when they're gone so let them share a little now when they can enjoy it .

This x1000. The best meals are the free ones, anyway.

newgirly

Hi ahem, yes I know I have to broach tthe subject many thanks for your input, and I hear what you are saying about getting mse fatigue, that's the danger time!

I think setting mini challenges for various things, perhaps on a monthly basis is the way to go, I used to do this all the time at the start of my diary and it helps a lot.

Alex you can't do better than your best

Birthday cake bought at Mr t at 5.30 am :eek: balloons and party poppers ready, I just hope the place is not too trashed while I'm at work, not sure it was worth doing all that cleaning at the weekend.

getmore4less

newgirly wrote: »

I think setting mini challenges for various things, perhaps on a monthly basis is the way to go, I used to do this all the time at the start of my diary and it helps a lot.

The main challenge is making sure the budget works and is accurate.

Forward looking for the things you missed is one critical task on a regular basis so things don't come as a surprise.

Regular tracking of real spending is the other, remember it is not a monthly game but a longer term one.


using the food example again.
You don't have £X per month for food you have £X*12 for the year

Actually many people track food budget slightly wrong they track the spends, when what you should track is the consumption paying particular attention to waste.

They are linked but if you eat out of the store/freezer and spend nothing there is a restocking spend looming, if you do a big shop and fill the store/freezer you have capacity to spend less later.

So the real budget item to track is Stock left + whats left of the cashflow.
As long as that trends about right month to month it is fine.

One stratagy is to split the budget into perishables/short term things that you need to get on a regular(weekly or less) basis, that money needs to be available month by month, and stuff that keeps so you can stock pile.

Make one of the tasks to look for the easy money savers like what the cheapest you can buy the things you use all the time, get a years stock and forget about them for 6 months just have a price watch for the next bulk buy.

Depends how keen you are on detailed catagory management, tracking and cash flow juggling.

For many the time against savings make it better to just do an extra hour overtime at work, people lose sight of the value of time.


You can look for ways to squeeze but that is not always productive, if you get the same for less then fine but if there is something you want/like and it is in the plan just get it, if you think you can manage without review the plan and take it out.

One stratagy here is a list of things not in the plan, the nice to haves priortise and let them fester for a while then re-prioritise, if things are getting persistant on the list look at ways to add then to the plan.


One thing i never got was "no spend days", plan properly and you can have as many of them as you want just buy everything you need on one day, job done. In some ways no spend days can be unproductive if you ovoid buying things you need at a convenient time just because it is a no spend day.

newgirly

The thought of going through everything in all the cupboards and freezers is very daunting :eek lots of it is stuff we have sitting there not being used, I should have a clear out\use up and then get organised.

I'm having the rest of this month to chill out ,go on holiday and stick to budget, come august, I will do my first monthly challenge, maybe something like an eBay selling one. I HATE listing stuff and have only down it a few times with help from the kids. I'm hoping the holidays is a good time to sell with lots ofnbored kids wanting to spend pocket money.

Ds2s party seems to go well, and only one black sack of debris to clear up, they all apologised for the mess (I left them lots of party poppers) ,I said dont worry our parties are way worse than this usually , one boy said yes your DS said that too :rotfl:

getmore4less

The problem with a freezer full of stuff you don't use is no room for the deals on stuff you will use.


edit: forgot to add, when you do sort it out think carefully about why you bought the stuff in the first place, it should be on the think carefully before buying again list.

newgirly

So glad that im done with work for eleven days :j (unless I have to go in at the weekend and help with a last minute job that may come in !)

Today I'm collecting ds1s birthday cake from Costco, its massive and only £12.99 he is having a sleepover at his mates house who's birthday was recently ,so I offered to get a big cake for all the boys to share. Ds2 had his cake were when all his friends took over my house :rotfl:

Payday tomorrow, I am SO excited first big payment of the mortgage for ages being made , £1600 op plus interest of £301, all other spening is on track, ie. petrol food etc. If I can be OK on a month when we are away and I have all three kids birthdays , there may be hope for me yet!

I have been reading reviews on our family car (zafira) to try an decide whether to swap to something more reliable in repairs etc. We have so far had it about 4\5 years and have had a new clutch, its done 52k miles. It is very handy having the extra seats in the boot and we use them occassionally. I think reading the reviews I might just hang on to it, I'm doing 15 miles a day three times a week, and the odd few miles at weekends usually.
It seems less risky to just hang on to it really, we would be getting g an older car with higher milage for the same money as it has a big dent from a double decker!

Another thing up for renewal is my mobile, currently paying £6.40 pm with virgin unlimited texts and 250 mins included and I got a free phone last time. The cheapest they can do the same thing for now is £15 pm. No thanks! They are doing a good sim for £5 pm so I will probably go for that and try and get a phone cheap when the contract ends, carphone warehouse had a great touchscreen for £20 for upgrades only the other day. My phone is still working, but is getting forgetful.

I thought I might start listing the good mfw bits I have done and the bad:

Good:

Baked bread all week
Bought all holiday food and wine from normal grocery budget
Run down petrol ready to use 20p a litre off voucher for holiday
Did loads of one poll surveys
Switched from shower gel to soap

Bad:

Drinks with the girls last night , spent £5 (that could come under good though, as I met them later and skipped dinner!)
Bought ready made sarnies when overslept for work

getmore4less

Check your actual phone usage and see if you can go PAYG with bundle for heavier months.

Being on the same network as you main contacts can save money(free calls)

we use "3" 321 tariff 1pMB(150MB for toping up),2p text, 3p minutes

probably the cheapest low use option out there.

newgirly

I have had a look at a few payg options but most are either much dearer in cost of texts and calls , or else they have a minimum of topping up £10 every 30 days. The cheapest 3 I can see is £8 pm for less allowances. I currently don't use any internet allowance, although if my phone was a bit better I might but use a bit