No regard for others

kinkyjinks

piglet6 wrote: »

Point taken, Kinky, but these days very few families are still in the position of living in one room...

And just because its not spoken about, doesn't mean its not heard, still. I think it has to be the minority of people who are "totally comfortable" with hearing others having sex and discussing it with the couple involved over breakfast the following morning - "well, you two sounded like you were having fun last night... You definitely enjoyed it when he/she started doing [ ]...didn't you?!"

I think its still "good manners" if you are living in "shared accommodation", to try and restrict your sexual activity to be as unobtrusive as possible. Sex should be an activity for those people "actively" involved - not those people who just happen to be in the room next door.

That surely becomes "voyeur-ism"...and if those involved in the sexual activity are your children (or your parents!), I think this throws up all sorts of other "uncomfortable" feelings...

P x

But if the OPs mum and the OP say nothing to the couple involved they may not realise it is a problem. As I've said, my eldest knows the consequences of anyone hearing them, simply because I [STRIKE]discussed it with him[/STRIKE] told him. I'm not saying I think the OPs brother is right, I do think he's inconsiderate but if people play deaf long enough and never challenge inappropiate behaviour then people might just treat them like they can't hear.

OMG I can't imagine having a convo over breakfast even if I did hear them...it's a mum/2 sons/2 brothers for goodness sake, not flat mates. (For the record if I had been forced to give him a taste of his own medicine it would have to be a harry met sally moment cos I just wouldn't be able to do it for real if I knew ppl could hear me)

It's voyeurism if you choose to hear/watch. The voyeur in this case would be OP and his mum IF she can hear and chooses to ignore it/put a glass up against the wall:eek:. Their choice to ignore it, not mine. Sex is a natural act and there are times that surely you put headphones on/turn the TV up louder? OP does say 12am onwards. Normally I'd be well asleep at that time and unable to hear what my 19 y/o was up too and would certainly hope the younger 2 were asleep too.

mazinmouse

"Does he not stop to think how "uncomfortable" it must be for her at breakfast with you and your mother after a night of "obvious" passion...?!?!"

It is likely that if she was 'uncomfortable' about the situation the next morning, she wouldn't be indulging in the noisy nocturnal activities!

ailuro2

If you don't have separate towels for the family ask your Mum if you can have them..tell her you don't want to catch herpes form your brother, or anything else that can be caught even if/when he is practising safe sex...

You also need to ask her if she is disturbed by your brother bringing girls home, she might be a heavy sleeper and not hear them?

You sound like a pretty sensible guy, I'm surprised at your family, the idea of a serial sh@99er being a 'stud' is sooo outdated. (and I'm 40, fgs!) Doesn't anyone else watch embarassing illnesses and see the holy,scabby,weeping genitals they show you that are results of diseases passed on by sleeping with infected people. Not to mention chlamydia which is mostly symptomless.:eek:

Keep being yourself, let him get on with whatever he's doing, but as previously mentioned get your Mum to tell him to put a sock in it as he's waking the family up. I'd also be asking for board as a %age of earnings, that is reasonable and will help him learn to budget (will help him too, sounds like a prime candidate for the CSA, lol).

Sounds like he has the life of Reilly at the moment, no wonder you're cheesed off!

daska

We rented a room once where our LL and his GF were 'vocally appreciative'. The other couple living there were utterly fed up with it and the LL didn't respond to subtle or even not so subtle hints. In the end we and the other couple found other accommodation and, the night before we all moved out, we rented a p0rn film and put the speakers facing the LLs wall... I have no idea whether it worked long term but we were young enough (20+ years ago) to find it funny...

probably not appropriate in your case OP but I'm still chuckling at my memory of the LLs face...

Gingham_Ribbon

Sounds to me like your brother is selfish because he's allowed to be. There's not much you can do about it except knock on the wall every time they wake you up until they get the message. It sounds like your mum won't do anything to support you but you're the one who's going to come out of this on top. You've learned how to be considerate towards others and he hasn't. Guess which one of you is going to have the better life?

pigpen

kinkyjinks wrote: »

:eek: And to think families used to all sleep in one room. How did we ever expand this countries population.

Sunday school!!!

Children went off to church for a few hours and mamma and pappa played tents!

elfen

railgrid, don't EVER change who you are. You're the type us girlies like (so says the prophet of doom lol)

It's is horrible hearing, I used to have the box room and got it both sides, o I'd bang on the wall or make noises back.

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

I'd plainly say while his g/f is in earshot ''i hope you two are gonna keep the noise down today - i can hear you two from every room in this house!'' - don;t be rude, just say it plain and simply and at a time when only the two of them will hear. Hopefully she'll be embarrassed (maybe she hadn't realised she was being heard) and will be a little more inclined to keep quiet, and unless he's the loud one you should be ok from there.

I used to stay at hubbies house when we were younger - we always thought we were absolutely silent but i was mortified to find out the his older bro and g/f who were in the room directly below could hear the tap tap tapping of the headboard on the wall :eek::eek::eek:...they just commented once and laughed about it (i was mortified) but we promptly stuck some pillows behind the headboard in future :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

We never ever got any comments from his parents....heaven forbid i'd prob never of come back if they did, but then again we were very discrete and only 'did it' if they were out or we thought they were sleeping

Primrose

This is down to your mother I'm afraid, and if she doesn't like it, she needs to assert her authority and put her foot down. Is your father anywhere in this picture? If so, he needs to do so too. Talk to your mother and tell her you find it acutely embarrassing and you would like her to tell him that there will be no more behaviour of this kind in the house.
People get away with bad behaviour because nobody stands up to them and exerts their authority. If you mother doesn't take action it won't be long before your brother is exerting is behaviour over her in other more intimidating and unpleasant ways.

Mojisola

Primrose wrote: »

This is down to your mother I'm afraid, and if she doesn't like it, she needs to assert her authority and put her foot down. Is your father anywhere in this picture? If so, he needs to do so too. Talk to your mother and tell her you find it acutely embarrassing and you would like her to tell him that there will be no more behaviour of this kind in the house.
People get away with bad behaviour because nobody stands up to them and exerts their authority. If you mother doesn't take action it won't be long before your brother is exerting is behaviour over her in other more intimidating and unpleasant ways.

This thread - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2389751 - came to mind. Your mother could easily find herself in a similar situation if she doesn't stand up for herself.