No regard for others

railgrid

I'm after a little advice or just some reassurance that I'm not being selfish. I have an older brother who is 20. He has always been 'playing' girls and has recently started bringing some girl home (he's done so before on many occasions).

Usually, I just ignore him as we do not get along, however he is bringing this girl back quite often after going out on the town and they are blatantly 'doing it' at 12/1/2am and they go to no effort to be discreet.

Am I the only one that thinks he's a a$$hole. He must know everyone can here it. My mother obviously doesn't mention it as it's embarrassing for her, but what possesses him to think it's ok to bring some girl back and sleep with her, waking everyone up.

He's always been selfish, me myself and I. Obviously he doesn't care about anyone else.

I imagine some are going to get some enjoyment out of this thread, but I'm seriously tired of it. I'm his younger sibling and would never have the minimal amount of respect for others that he has. Anyone been in a similar situation or want to shed some light on this, to reassure me I'm not just being a childish fool and he is actually in the wrong?

(created username to stay anonymous)

mum2one

Your not being a fool, maybe have a quiet word with ur mum, obviously if you can hear the goings on, she can as well, it sounds like your brothers got a stage going on, where hes rebelling, and for some reason I get the feeling he's rebelling about ur mum,

Sorry to be personal, but is your dad not around, it sounds like ur brothers acting up but needs someone to take him into hand.......

Its not really u that needs to tell him, maybe ask your mum to have a quiet word with him.

Sorry couldn't be much more help xx

MsDee

Hello railgrid,

You sound like a sensible and considerate girl.

Quite simply.....Men will get away with what they are allowed to get away with....

Your brother is doing as he wishes, because no one is telling him not to..

Of course, there's a solid argument that it is not considerate behaviour at all, but he is drunk, young, full of hormones and quite simply, wants sex in his bed to finish off a great night out on the town.

This needs to come from your mother I'm afraid, she needs to put her foot down and tell him this behaviour is not acceptable in her home.

You, as the younger sister will aggravate him and he will not take orders from his little sister (especially as you have said, you don't get on) so it would be difficult to have a word saying "have some consideration for the rest of the house".

Until a senior, parental figure knocks this on the head, your brother will carrying on behaving in this way.

railgrid

mum2one wrote: »

Your not being a fool, maybe have a quiet word with ur mum, obviously if you can hear the goings on, she can as well, it sounds like your brothers got a stage going on, where hes rebelling, and for some reason I get the feeling he's rebelling about ur mum,

Sorry to be personal, but is your dad not around, it sounds like ur brothers acting up but needs someone to take him into hand.......

Its not really u that needs to tell him, maybe ask your mum to have a quiet word with him.

Sorry couldn't be much more help xx

I just couldn't imagine lowering myself enough to sleep with someone while my family members are in the rooms next to me and can hear everything. I have more respect for my family and myself.

MsDee wrote: »

Hello railgrid,

You sound like a sensible and considerate girl.

Quite simply.....Men will get away with what they are allowed to get away with....

Your brother is doing as he wishes, because no one is telling him not to..

Of course, there's a solid argument that it is not considerate behaviour at all, but he is drunk, young, full of hormones and quite simply, wants sex in his bed to finish off a great night out on the town.

This needs to come from your mother I'm afraid, she needs to put her foot down and tell him this behaviour is not acceptable in her home.

You, as the younger sister will aggravate him and he will not take orders from his little sister (especially as you have said, you don't get on) so it would be difficult to have a word saying "have some consideration for the rest of the house".

Until a senior, parental figure knocks this on the head, your brother will carrying on behaving in this way.

Thanks for your advice, though I'm actually his younger brother.

piglet6

Railgrid - you have my sympathy! I think you have a very valid point, and would in no way make fun of this thread.

Yes, I agree with you that your brother is an a$$hole. In my opinion, he is showing no respect for your mother or you (in whose home he is carrying out this "act"!), and I also think that he is showing a lack of respect for the girl concerned - why does he think it is acceptable to have "public" sex with this lady...?!?! (And if other people are aware of the act taking place because they can hear it going on, then it is "public" as far as I am concerned...). Unfortunately, society is still very judgemental of females who have sex (more so than of males in the same situation), so in the long run, this activity could have long term repercussions on the girl involved, while your brother is seen as some kind of "stud". In my opinion, your brother, by bringing this girl home to openly have sex in front of his family, is exposing her to possible criticism for the situation. If he had any real respect for her, I think he would think twice before putting her in this position. Does he not stop to think how "uncomfortable" it must be for her at breakfast with you and your mother after a night of "obvious" passion...?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I have no judgement on people having sex privately, and I am not, in the main, judgemental about other people's sex lives (I have no prejudice against "gay" sex, "straight" sex, "kinky/fetish" sex - as long as the act takes place between consenting adults, and they don't expect me to join in, then that's fine with me - they can do what they want!) but I do believe that the act should be about the two people concerned. If this involves having sex in a house where other people are present (parental home/shared house/whatever!) then I am of the opinion that those concerned should show respect for the others within the house... Consideration should be made for others in the building - i.e. loud, screaming orgasms are best reserved for those occasions when you are the only two in earshot.

If your sex life makes others (who are not directly "involved") feel uncomfortable, then in my opinion, you need to reconsider the situation...

P x

MsDee

railgrid wrote: »

I just couldn't imagine lowering myself enough to sleep with someone while my family members are in the rooms next to me and can hear everything. I have more respect for my family and myself.



Thanks for your advice, though I'm actually his younger brother.

LOL - whoops, don't know why I jumped to that assumption.

OK, even more reason for it to come from Mum, otherwise cue fisticuffs and accusations that you are jealous that he is 'getting it'.

What has/does Mum say all about this and have you shared your concerns with Mum or him yet?

piglet6

railgrid wrote: »

I just couldn't imagine lowering myself enough to sleep with someone while my family members are in the rooms next to me and can hear everything. I have more respect for my family and myself.



Thanks for your advice, though I'm actually his younger brother.

You posted while I was typing, but your post gives me hope...;)

Congratulations on having what I would consider to be "human" values in a male body (please don't take this as a slur in any way - I realised that Mr P was the man for me when I realised that he was also able to think as a human being rather than just as a hormone-driven teenage bloke!). Its nice to hear from a man who has consideration for his family, and his sexual partner, above his libido.

Railgrid - I suspect that you will go on to have much better relationships with the opposite sex than your brother. Please keep your values, and don't be swayed by his example!! :rotfl:

P x

MsDee

piglet6 wrote: »

If he had any real respect for her, I think he would think twice before putting her in this position. Does he not stop to think how "uncomfortable" it must be for her at breakfast with you and your mother after a night of "obvious" passion...?!?!

P x

If she had any real respect for herself, she wouldn't allow herself to be put in the situation she is allowing and agreeing herself to be put in.

I presume it's not just him making all the noise.....

pigpen

I'd probably be tempted to take the juvenile route here and mimic their stupid fake overly loud noises.. Childish but gets the point across.

I'd also yell over for them to hurry up cos the people in the next street need to sleep too.. and I wouldn't let up.. I'd make him look silly and immature because that is what this behaVIOUR IS.

I have been in this situation with my sister who is 14 years younger than me.. she was having sex in her room while I was there, and my mother.. and my children.. I called upstairs that surely it could wait until the children were out of earshot at least and that neither I nor my mother particularly wanted to hear it either..

Tact is not strong in my family!

It didn't happen again!

IMO If you want to have sex you get your own house.. that is what all my siblings bar this one have done!! I was mortified enough when my mother popped round unannounced in the middle of they day while I was having some quality time with my OH..

If you don't feel you can stand up to this behaviour maybe you should move out, if your mother is happy to put up with it

railgrid

Piglet6 - I agree with everything you said. She is seen as the '!!!!!!' while he is seen as the 'stud'. Most of his friends and a lot of our family think he's the 'cool' one for sleeping with random girls. Even when we went on holiday, he went with some girl, made no effort to hide it and everyone thought it was hilarious and that he is a stud. I'm seen as the loser and weirdo because I don't sleep with random girls and don't think it's hilarious when men go from one girl to another. My family know I'm more the type to 'get to know' a girl, which obviously doesn't live up to the young, fun and reckless expected. Also, going back to the girl, she's agreed to sex and knew we were all asleep and therefore she should feel awkward the next day over breakfast.

MsDee - I agree again. If I mention anything, it's always seen as jealousy. That and we'd end up in a fight, which isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

MsDee

railgrid wrote: »

Piglet6 - I agree with everything you said. She is seen as the '!!!!!!' while he is seen as the 'stud'. Most of his friends and a lot of our family think he's the 'cool' one for sleeping with random girls. Even when we went on holiday, he went with some girl, made no effort to hide it and everyone thought it was hilarious and that he is a stud. I'm seen as the loser and weirdo because I don't sleep with random girls and don't think it's hilarious when men go from one girl to another. My family know I'm more the type to 'get to know' a girl, which obviously doesn't live up to the young, fun and reckless expected. Also, going back to the girl, she's agreed to sex and knew we were all asleep and therefore she should feel awkward the next day over breakfast.

MsDee - I agree again. If I mention anything, it's always seen as jealousy. That and we'd end up in a fight, which isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

Stick to your guns and pity those that think its cool and hilarious to sh&g around - STI's, pregnancies, messed up emotions etc etc.

What does Mum say railgrid? Does he listen to and respect her?