11 yr-old's downtime / bedtime

dangers

My son is 11 (Yr 6) and has lights out at 8pm during the week. Slightly relaxed at weekends. The last couple of nights it has been just after 9pm when lights out for various reasons, and he isn't in a good mood today. It will be earlier to bed tonight. He always wakes up just after 7am - won't sleep in!!!

*Louise*

OP, I don't think you're unreasonable, I think you are more than generous

My son is 10 and a half, he goes to bed at 8pm on a school night (but reads or plays his DS for a wee while before sleeping.

Weekends/hols he goes upstairs about 8.30-9pm but goes to our room to watch DVD's or plays the Wii until around 10pm

He hasn't complained yet, thankfully.

Us parents need 'our' time as well

petraandcedismum

Because we are so busy both of my daughters are awake most of the night and all over the place, but they are homeschooled. I think, if you can, a routine is good.

Kayteehee

My brother and sister are 11 and they have to go to bed at 8.30pm-9pm... I can't believe how late your child goes to bed and he still wants to push it.... you need to let him know he's lucky to be allowed up this late.

Until I was 13 I had to go to bed at 9pm I was not allowed to stay up later than this as this was after the 'watershed' time on TV.

When I was 13-16 and still at school my latest time I was allowed up was 11pm.

Now I'm 22 and well my bedtimes are mostly between 2/3/4am! I wish I could get to sleep that early now!

penelopedee_2

DS is nearly 13, school nights its 9pm and weekends and holidays is 10pm (unless special occasions). We have to run quite a strict ship with it as he would stay up until the early hours given half the chance.

I've spoken to friends with similar age children recently as DS has been kicking off about it, and apparently they all go up around the same sort of time.

space_rider

My 17 year old goes up to bed about 9.30 and is usually fast asleep by 10. My nearly 10 year old would stay up way past midnight and still get up in time for school. She goes to bed at 8.45 and lights out after a story at 9. She says she should be allowed to go to bed at 9.30/10 when she is 10. Mmm, don`t think so. She also says her friends go to bed later but when questioning parents that is of course not true. She wasn`t amused when I asked her friends mum and her friend is in bed at 8 and lights out 8.30 and I did that to her that night!

littlerat

My parents must've been bad, at that age my bedtime was about 10PM, and I'd normally read for an hour! That said.. until I was 14 I only slept around 5 - 6 hours a night on average, so never had any bad effects at school or anything. By that age holidays we didn't have a bedtime really (though obviously weren't generally up til 1AM of course).

But friends of ours even at 15 still had to be in bed by 8pm or they'd not get up at 7 the next morning.

I have to say I don't think 1 set time would work for every kid though, some do need a lot more sleep. I'd go by how well your son wakes up in the morning (for him), whether he's tired by 3 in the afternoon or whatever.

crutches

Thanks for this.I too have an 11 yr old questioning bedtime.I will be telling her that "my friends say their children go to bed at...!"

Threebabes

My DDs who share a room aged 10 and 6 are in bed for 8pm school nights, 9 - 9.30pm school holidays though the 6 year old is normally asleep by then. My son who is 14 goes to bed 9.30-10.00pm on school nights and 10.00-10.30pm on a weekend and school holidays. If he is particularly tired we tell him to be in bed by 9.30pm.

My DD would like to stay up a bit later on a school night but its difficult with her sharing a room with her sister who still needs her sleep.

elektra-2007

My Lad is 8 and ive just "upped" his bed time to 7.30 on a school night from 7, that includes his allowed 30 mins play time - book or ds. Some nights he has scouts so its later, but then straight to bed with no book or ds.
Weekends its about 30 mins later so sleep by 8, tho somtimes hes still awake at 8.30-9.
I find it hard to let him stay up past 7 as cbbc finishes then and theres nothing sutible for him on tv so it has to be turned off.
By secondary school i would expect his bed time to be around 8-8.30, but definatly asleep by 9.
Is your lad ok at getting up in the morning? I think it would be hard to get him to "down" his bed time now hes been allowed it but i defo wouldnt be upping it until he had left school!!!