engaged - other people's reactions

Lara44

Hi Raquelle, I felt totally the same when OH and I got engaged this time last year. My Mum even asked me 'so why do you think Paul proposed?' I was like, hmmm perhaps because he loves me?! Many friends were a bit funny, and my Dad didn't even call to say congratulations.

I am not one for being centre of attention but like you, would have loved the support. We had also been together for 5 years, but I think the 'no big deal' thing that other posters are saying is a bit rubbish. Of course it's a big deal!

In the end I just told everyone that I wanted them to be really happy for me, and made it clear that it was a really important and special moment for me. Since then there has been so much crowing about the choice of wedding location, blah blah. We decided that we're happy so we're going to go for it. Many people we hadn't expected have been so wonderful to us too.

Don't worry about it - Congratulations!!! This is a new exciting phase of your life. Don't let anything take the gloss off that giddy feeling

confused1234_2

My brother proposed to my sister in law and I can remember her coming round one day, excited as anything, showing me the ring and telling me all about the proposal and what they had planned so far.

Whilst I was really pleased for them both (she's lovely and they make a great couple), I didn't gush just because I wasn't at a stage in my life where marriage meant anything to me personally, I was younger, hadn't met anyone meaningful in my life then or really thought much about marriage.

If it happened now however, my reaction would be completely different! I'd be admiring the ring, looking appreciatively at the photos they took at the time and asking about wedding plans etcetera!

It obviously has completely different meaning for you than to anyone else so people will react differently, but do enjoy it for yourselves and have your moment!

gill_81uk

Congratulations Raquelle - I am a little surprised at the reactions on here as for me it was a huge deal when we got engaged and my friends and family treated it that way as well, as I do for them!

We had been together for 4 years, lived together for 3 so it was on the cards but my family, friends and work colleagues were all really excited for me and I got loads of texts and congratulations from people, and a surprising amount of cards and presents (unexpected) We didn't have a party and got married less than a year later.

Could you say to one of your close friends that you were surprised that she wasnt more excited for you and is there perhaps a reason why? It might help to put your mind at ease

emmell

I would love my son to get engaged but no matter how much I hint it falls on deaf ears, even to the extent that he thinks marriage is just a piece of paper.
I may be old fashioned but I like tradition, but not big fancy weddings, a register office would be fine and a lovely family reception after (listen at me, I'm in dream mode again).
Anyway, a big congratulations from me.
ML.

SUESMITH_2

i cant understand how you have been together for so long and not moved in with one another, but that's none of my business

when i got engaged my family were over the moon and made a fuss - sisters and mum got together and bought fizz and cake and even a few presents and cards but, and this is a big but, a few old friends of my mum made a fuss but my friends didn't and i was only 20. oh family were shocked that oh had finally met someone and they did buy cards.

i got things donated to my "bottom drawer" (does this even exist anymore) but not specific engagement presents from most people

Rockporkchop

Congratulations on your engagement but goodness me, you don't believe in rushing things do you?! Just got engaged at 33 after 5 years, not even living together, and now not getting married until 2012!! It's like you are living your life in slow motion!

shellsuit

I didn't realise there was a time limit on when people HAD to do things, such as live together, get engaged, get married and have children etc...???

It's nice to see a couple taking things slowly and not rushing into everything just because others expect them to!

Maybe they want to get married, then move in together, then have children ~ you know, like couples used to, when they had a lot more respect for each other and didn't want everything yesterday!

Congrats on the engagement by the way! x

BigBlackcat

Congratulations Raquelle!

We announced our engagement earlier this year. The responses we got were quite positive considering we've been together as a couple for nearly 15 years!!

Taypier

Congratulations!! :beer:

We got engaged earlier this year after 3 years, we live together and we had a mixture of responses. My mum, and nanna were delighted and we got a card from them both (they asked what we wanted but we refused!) The rest of my family couldn't give 2 hoots, my dad just text! His family however made a huge fuss, wanting to see the ring, phoning us up to congratulate us. We got cards from each aunt and uncle. I'm gutted that my family in comparison don't seem to care.

Lotus-eater

We've been together 20 years, been engaged 13, lived together 12. Happy too

As the Levellers once said, there's only way of life and that's your own.

Congratulations and I'm glad it worked out with your Mum.