Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Thanks, Cheery; you got it in one. I am feeling very frustrated partly because of all changes that are happening in my life (or not) and partly bercause I am a very impatient person. A year ago I resigned myself to dealing with negative wealth for the next nine years or so; now I know that it can be gone by Christmas (or latest next Spring). As a result the temptation to sprint is coming back; as well as forgetting that some people won't or can't sprint with me.

Learning to meditate should go on the list of personal development aspirations.

Firewalker

MrsMoo2U

FW, I so agree with you. Having a dream is great, making that dream a reality takes really hard work. What you have to ask them is whether this is a dream that they want to make happen or are they afraid to make it happen in case it isnt what they expect. Cheery is so right. Too often as youngsters we are told "that is only a dream" "you wont make money doing that" and we put our dreams to one side. I came across this quote a while ago and it pulled me up short
“Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.” perhaps this is what DS needs to think about some more.

I also agree that you should not take on their problems. By all means support them and discuss things with them but don't do things that they can do for themselves. I do think that your DS is in a comfort zone and maybe needs to get out of it somehow (you pull the rug from under him maybe?)

My Mum used to say that if you love your children you have to give them wings to fly and then step back and let them get on with it (let them crash land and dont rush in to catch them as hard as it may seem)

Firewalker

A day of complete rest is planned here. Well, with the exception of the shopping (list made and spending will be minimal) and possibly cooking a pot or two of soup. Otherwise I’ll be reading in bed and trying to get myself together. I am not sure whether I am having a virus at the moment or a total and complete mid-life crisis; although I thought that I am passed this one and that running is what I will get away with. But no, I have to get the full package with the doubts, and the downers, and the pains and aches. Really hope it is a virus; or just plain exhaustion.

On Thursday, I did a mind-map of what I would like to achieve (or have to do) in the eight areas of my wheel of life. A very useful exercise and will recommend it to anyone – in fact for a post on all this goal setting, managing life, expectations and all else you can check The Money Principle. But one thing that attracted my immediate attention was the health area.

I suppose for my age I am really healthy – I am 48 and apart from several major operations (life threatening but once recovered there are no ‘leftovers’) I have no health complaints – even my blood pressure is great after I started taking control of my life and finance rather than only worry about it. There are three minor things, however, that needed immediate (or as good as) attention. These are my weight (heavy for a long distance runner and being dealt with), my varicose vein (yes it is only one but a bothersome one) and my eyes – need new glasses. The VV has to be done privately so will have to weight. But my eyes had to be approached immediately – for months now I have been holding my head up to be able to see the screen and my neck is starting to hurt. Serendipitously, a leaflet for Specsavers came through the door.

So yesterday I ordered two pair of glasses – one very-focal with darkening and the works and one for the computer – for £389. And my heart is bleeding at the amount I spent; I surely hope I’ll be able to see. Then I remembered the price of my present pair. Well, let me just say I tried to convince my employer to pay for them using the budget for ‘major research equipment’. And yesterday I got a free eye test.

After that I got sandals, socks and underwear for Little Boy (who from now on will be called DS3). It is amazing how fast he is growing out of things at the moment.

Altogether a very spendy day. But the Universe is generous and will no doubt send me much more wealth soon.

Firewalker

gilligansyle

Calling Little Boy DS3 is a very positive step. Although I guess you don't actually talk about him like that at home, it is probably quite subconscious and a step towards letting him grow.
I am no health expert, but suspect that you may be what my nan always called ' a bit run down' - take some time out, let those adults in your house look after you for a change. Maybe if you're not running round after them, they'll appreciate you more.

Glasses are so important - a few years ago, I managed with the cheap ones from the supermarket for reading, now I need proper glasses. The important thing though is the prescription, once you have that - from a proper optician, then you can try and get glasses cheaper on the internet.

MrsMoo2U

Hey FW - I agree with Gill. When I had my review with my manager last week she said that she felt that I was running on empty. I took a step back (after being quite upset) and realised that she was right. Maybe that is where you are at. You do go at things all guns blazing so maybe a step back and a few days rest is what you need. For my part I have booked 2 weeks off work to do nothing! Well other than things that make me feel better about life (decluttering, photography, walks along the coast.) Why not take a look at that wheel of life and pick a couple of nice ME things to do and do them. After all should your sabbatical not be about time out to refresh the mind and come back stronger? Meditation should definitely be on the list I think.

savingwannabe

Hello just woke up. I have been resting too as I was just plain exhausted. I have a few weeks to catch up on I think. I have just read the last few posts am not sure what is going on but i hope Firewalker is taking some 'me' time and doing nice happy things as she is wonderful. I am sending you a big hug. Stay happy Firewalker you inspire so many of us. Big hug. :j:j:j

Triciaxx

There are a lot of people on here who are the 'driving force' for getting things done in their lives, families, careers, homes, finances, etc., etc.

It is a tiring place to be but we assume the role because we want things done in a certain way (the best or only way, of course :cool:). We find it so difficult to accept when our families don't see the urgency or even the need to achieve what we want.

I've learnt that not everyone is as driven or ambitious or perfectionist as I am and I still find it difficult to accept. The alternative is friction in the house - or maybe a breakup of the household.

I'm not suggesting that your older sons should not be pulling their weight or earning their living but it must be a bit of a shock to have this brought home to them at this late stage. Just stay firm. At least DS3 is no longer LB and you can start early in teaching him about sensible attitudes to money.

I agree with Gilligan's Nan - you may be 'run down' - are you getting plenty of B vitamins? Do you need to ease up on the rigid 2 hours writing from 6.30 am?

You have a lot happening at the moment with the sabbatical beginning, decisions on your future direction, potential job offer in another country. I think you are a person who likes structure and order in your life and you are bound to feel unsettled.

Have a hug, take your time, and . . . breathe!

Firewalker

Today DS3 and OH went to Southport Air Show and it appears that they had great time. When they came back we made pizza and DS3 helped. He was getting every thing for himself and moving flawlessly around the kitchen(s). then he looked at me and said:

"Now I know where everything is I can look after myself. It is nice to be free."

Yes, my son, it is nice to be free. I am so pleased that at your age you not only appreciate freedom but know that freedom comes with knowledge. Our world would have been so much better if more people understood that.

Firewalker

gilligansyle

Thanks FW - you have just explained something for me. I was driving along and saw a plane flying really low over the Mersey,not circling, so not going to the airport. It was the air show! We used to go to that a lot when DS was younger.

Firewalker

I am just back from a magical night...with my friend. A week ago she phoned and asked me whether I'll go to Carlos Acosta show. 'Hell, yeah!'

So this is where I have just come back from and it was so good - fusion of different dancing styles, of different media (there was a part that mixed filming, dance, sound and digital effects.

I think that this is it for tonight - anything else will damage the image.

Firewalker