Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

ani_26

cherisong wrote: »

Sorry I am late to this discussion but I absolutely agree with MG and Hypno. I never received any help from parents and I have always managed to budget. Bills and Food are always taken out first and if I have anything left for fun then great. If not I just get on with it. I have a cousin and friends who could never budget their parents helped them out all of the time. My friends' parents are no longer around and they are just about to have their house repossessed but they still have 50 odd channels on the sky tv contract !!!!!

I say that the best way to love children is to give them wings to fly and allow them to crash land from time to time. What is the very worst that can happen? Whatever the worst thing is that you can imagine I can assure you it is not as bad as death!!

I wonder why people always imagine the worst thing to be death?

thriftyscotslass

Just wanted to add a little twist to the family member looking for money discussion. My 75 year old mother came to us looking for a handout. Now before you think of a little frail old pensioner living in poverty, let me put this in context. My mother has spent her way through three inheritances worth in the region of a hefty mid-6 figure sum.

Pressing a little further we found out that she needed the money for house maintenance, bills, etc but.... the best bit of it is, she wanted us to pay for this to allow her to use her remaining money to go on continental holidays and continue with her weekly hair appointments, you get the idea...

Well apart from the fact that we don't have any money to spare, a dose of tough love was swiftly dealt out along the lines of you may need to sell a couple of your timeshares to pay for essentials Mum.

So the moral of this story is twofold: 1. some people never learn, ever and 2. an addict (of whatever) will always find (or try to find) an enabler.

PS Ani, I don't think FW thinks that you are out to get her .

Karmacat

Wow, TSL, thats quite something .... a salutary lesson!

In relation to the whole discussion, there's one point I want to make - its not actually in relation to FW, but more to the person on the linkie, but I don't want to get into it there its all a bit intense.

Its always up to the parent how they support their child, emotionally, physically and financially. But I do think that if you've always done it one way, and then you decide to change, its not fair on the "child", even if they're adult, to impose that change suddenly and with no warning, and huge amounts of anger. Not that I'm a christian, but "do as you would be done by" comes to mind, just in the way that you do it, not what is done, if that makes sense....

And Ani, I heard FW as "get" as in "understand", more "cop to", don't worry ... I too hope your outing was fun.

And FW, what a lovely evening it sounds like you had! Very nice

ani_26

It just goes to show how the written word is open to many interpretations, and the connotations of any individual.

It was'nt designed to be a fun outing. On this occasion, it was an educational outing. If i wanted a fun outing, i would visit Alton t's or bp pleasure beach. ( if i had the funds to do so, of course ).

Unfortunately, i don't think you can ever change people. Especially if you have taught them, in the first place. Mind you, if its your prerogative to move the goalposts, then c'est la vie. I spent the best part of whatever it was, 80+ years, hoping my mum would change. I seriously gave up at some point upon the line, ( i can't remember when ), and i don't ever regret it. I DO regret her attitude to life, though. Its so sad.

I don't think a degree counts for much, in this day and age. Degree's are ten a penny, in the most ridiculous of subjects, as are universities. My interpretation is, it tells an employer you can apply yourself to study long enough to obtain a 2:1 or whatever, ( i've never brushed shoulders with the likes of people who get firsts), ooo hang on, actually my best mate at school was brilliant :rotfl:That is pretty much it. I feel life skills, common sense and social skills account for so much more, ( yes ok, so i ended up where i am ).


In case you have' nt worked it out by now, no, i don't have a degree, but then this was'nt the predominant qualification in the field i studied, being a performer, opposed to an academic. This does'nt make me less intelligent than anyone else, however, although of course i'm at the bottom of the financial social class system, i'm tecnically not at the bottom of socio economic grouping.


As for computers, i've definitely got a fail there, as half of this is in different type and i've no idea what happened or how to rectify it, so i may as well post it :rotfl:

ani_26

Ah, forgot. Maybe you are spoiled, firewalker, but beneath every exterior, is an interior.

With regards to DS getting a summer job, of course it does'nt have to be in his chosen subject. I could be bold and say, do anything. Except of course, i know what its like in the job market, right now, and judging by the amount of young people home from uni, in the job cebtre on thursday, its not going to get any better.

Which leads me on to another comment about the educational status of young students, nowadays. How some of them procure places at uni, i'll never know, because some of them can barely read and write, ( or spell ). What IS happening to the basic education system?

Firewalker

Good morning, my friends. It is a grim, dark day up North and I just got up - decided last night that I'll rest for a bit longer today; OH is 'up top' in his study doing computer stuff and LB is still asleep. OH has moved my blog to another server - he has been telling me what are the advantages but although I love gadgets my knowledge of all things computer related are strictly this of a user.

Ani26, touched on something that has been bothering me for sometime; in fact all my talk about leaving my job is not because I dislike what I do - I love both teaching and research - but because of broader changes affecting universities. Financial pressures and the 50 percent policy led to diluting the criteria for access (the school system was not very hot ten years ago either; now it is probably better some places but people tell me that the quality of education cannot be compared with years ago). Then the 'employability' agenda came which shifted university education towards narrow vocational skills - very useful but do people need to go to university to acquire them? We are also under big pressure to ensure that our students complete - the most certain way to do that is to spoon feed them and to lower the criteria for assessment. To top it all, we'll be charging obscene amount of money for that.

Ani26, this is how some people with university degrees are nearly illiterate.

Rant over; now the shopping list and menu have to be prepared. Did I mention we will have visitors for a week next week?

Firewalker

Memory_Girl

ani_26 wrote: »

Which leads me on to another comment about the educational status of young students, nowadays. How some of them procure places at uni, i'll never know, because some of them can barely read and write, ( or spell ). What IS happening to the basic education system?

I happen to agree with the dilution of educational standards, but perhaps in a "people in glass houses shouldn't cast stones" way I would have a gentle look at your own punctuation and spelling.

Mind you, as a dyslexic I am still at the stage of learning one spelling or punctuation principle per day - who knew how many uses for the apostrophe there are????

And I don't feel all degrees are useless - I do feel that some of the "media" ones are a little suspect - but how do we get Doctors, Scientists, Engineers and Inspirational Thinkers (FW ) were it not for the discipline of a degree.

Don't have one myself - I ran off to theatreland instead - but I now write for Universities in my "pet subject" (with a great deal of help from proof readers and spellcheckers though :rotfl:)

I am so with you on the computer stuff too - but I am learning every day.

MG

ani_26

I could rant on for ever about the education system, but maybe its prudent not to. I agree 100% the quality of the education is'nt the same as it was, years ago, but then, who is to blame? Teachers, finanancial restraints, the breakdown of soceity, or a combination of many things?

Ultimately, i feel the responsibilty lies firstly with parenting, followed closely by teaching staff.

I could also get shot down in flames by saying, these days, i feel entrance to university, in many cases, is an entrance to uk residency. There we go. I've said it. Got the boxing gloves on..................



However, i feel sure its the same for many people in work situ, these days. I'm sure many people, deep down, love their jobs, but all the external factors, if thats the word, contribute to these feelings of negativity.

ani_26

Memory_Girl wrote: »

I happen to agree with the dilution of educational standards, but perhaps in a "people in glass houses shouldn't cast stones" way I would have a gentle look at your own punctuation and spelling.

Mind you, as a dyslexic I am still at the stage of learning one spelling or punctuation principle per day - who knew how many uses for the apostrophe there are????

And I don't feel all degrees are useless - I do feel that some of the "media" ones are a little suspect - but how do we get Doctors, Scientists, Engineers and Inspirational Thinkers (FW ) were it not for the discipline of a degree.

Don't have one myself - I ran off to theatreland instead - but I now write for Universities in my "pet subject" (with a great deal of help from proof readers and spellcheckers though :rotfl:)

I am so with you on the computer stuff too - but I am learning every day.

MG

I can't find any errors with my punctuation and spelling, there, memory girl ??????????


Errors usually tend to be typo's as my eyesight and typing skills are'nt too good, plus the keyboard is old and sticks.

ani_26

Ah, maybe you thought there was an apostrophe in student's. I think not.