Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Two very large and ugly frogs were eaten today: one is the standing one of finishing a paper and the other one was discussing the results of a study with a colleague. These were my two main things on the daily plan and were both completed. Probably waking up at 5.50 am without the alarm helped.

I woke up having palpitations and covered in cold sweat – had a really bad dream. I am starting to suspect that there is quite a lot of unfinished business left with my parents. I am not sure what is happening but from time to time I have a really bad dream about one or other of them; mainly my mum and mainly as she became – which is not great. I wish I could dream about her as she was – bright, articulate, a writer who under different circumstances could have been an author, loving and giving. She was also physically beautiful and youthful. Dreaming of her ravaged by dementia may be a way for my deepest fears to sneak up on me from my sub-consciousness. Anyway, this is the reason I had to get up and start writing, the dream woke me up.

Lately, when I do something, or more often when I don’t do something that I would love to be doing, I think about her and what would she say. One thing she would have said would be ‘Stop being afraid, you cannot live your life in fear.’ She also would have liked me to write – for her sake and for mine.

Well, this post didn’t go in the direction I expected it to – but if I am learning something about grief it is that it stays with one for a long time and that it hits when we least expect it to; in my case often on a flight somewhere so that people sitting around me cannot fathom why are tears rolling down my face.

Time to stop now and I hope tonight my dreams will be calm and joyful.

Firewalker

NorthernLas

I hope your dreams are good tonight ... and you are right (as I sob into one too many red glass of red wine), grief pops up inappropriately. New day tomorrow and the rest of the wine will go in a stew or more probably down the sink (shows just why I could open a bar with the drink I have left from chrimbo)

I think a run will be a good idea whateverthe weather ...

Karmacat

Our grief does get to us, doesn't it ... sorry its so painful for you at the moment about your mum, FW, I hope at least you had a better night's sleep tonight.

Firewalker

Just came back from a run and at least training is going well. It turns out that I can do anything but have to have it written down and need a tick box next to it; or to colour it in yellow.

Which leads me straight to the point – I have been getting up early and have been getting on with things. However, somewhere deep down I have the feeling that I am not being productive. This may be either because I am really not productive or because I have the modern disease where being productive is measured by output not by achievement. What do I mean? This is probably best explained with an example.

For a week now I have been working on a paper – this is one that I have started and stopped writing several times now. Every time, there was something else to do so I did not focus my energy on the paper. As a result it was never right – have I mentioned that I do really elegant arguments and simply cannot see the point in sending to a journal anything that is not elegant, simple and written as a novel? To get to this stage a lot of detailed work and thinking need to be done.

And here is the problem – when I start a paper I feel productive because the text builds up quickly. After that comes the stage that is not productive in the sense that there is a product – there is not much to show at the end of the day when it has been spent thinking, rewording and reading, going back to the drawing board, re-writing and so on. Now this stage is the achievement stage; this is when one is productive in the sense of achievement rather than having immediately a product.

I love writing this diary – I ask a question and then answer it. Here it is: I am productive and in several days the product (the paper) will be ready. The achievement will be worth it (and there will be a product to boot).

This also means that the question Tim Ferriss suggested we learn to ask ourselves – am I productive or just busy – is not that straight forward to answer.

Firewalker

ani_26

Maybe you, yourself will never feel you have been productive, and productiveness will be measured by appreciation.

I'm sorry, the tick box made me laugh I don' t mean to be disrespectful. Yellow? Good colour. The same colour as daffodils.

Firewalker

ani_26 wrote: »

I'm sorry, the tick box made me laugh I don' t mean to be disrespectful. Yellow? Good colour. The same colour as daffodils.

Well, do you think I don't find this one peculiar as well? But it has always worked with me - the box thing. It is another way to say that it is on my 'daily programme' - however, putting it on my daily programme gives me motivation, not discipline. I am not big on discipline and/or authority.

The colouring is funny - if your weekly tasks (leading to something really great and wonderful) are on a mind map, completing them and drawing a yellow line through looks (and feels) wonderful.

I think that you would like a blog called zen habits - have a look. Leo Babauta is all about increased productivity but at the same time he thinks that 'control is an illusion' and that 'the best goals are no goals'. Have a look...

Firewalker

Firewalker

Right, I need help and advice. The situation is:

We have a cast iron bath in the back garden (don't ask, a long story) and have had for several months now.

Question is:

What are the most appropriate, most efficient and most profitable ways to dispose of it.

Firewalker

claudiac_2

FW - had to nip in here and say I took a cast iron bath off a friend who had nowhere to dispose of it. It lay in the garage for months, then I sold it for 125 quid, and I could have got more if I had put it on ebay. I sold it on gumtree. Buyer was renovating an old house and was delighted with it. Sold her the taps a month later (when they were eventually found) and i think she paid 25 quid. She had traveled a fair distance to collect it as well. What condition is it in? If it needs re enameled it may not be worth so much, but I say try ebay and if that doesn't work, try gumtree or sell for scrap if you are needing rid quickly.

NorthernLas

Google reclamation yards and phone up wanting to buy one - that way you will find out the going rate ... if it is still OK as a bath, then ask someone to come around and give you a price. Obviously the sell and buy prices will be different, but it will give you an idea of what to expect. Or be brave and do the ebay malarky.

You could of course plant it with nice plants

thriftyscotslass

Sorry, can't offer anything more on selling the cast iron bath.

Had to come in on tick boxes tho'. I use lists and there is nothing more satisfying in the world than ticking things off a list. Big frogs are usually ticked off with relish using an enormous, scribbled tick - my oh and kids laugh at me too, do I care, nope - makes me happy .