Finally getting CSA after 5 years, now he has "shared care"

speedster

Soubrette wrote: »

In the interests of honesty I have also reported this thread to abuse.

Speedster, accusing someone of lying is not being nice to all moneysavers and sadeelisha, if it's possible you have been even more foul than Speedster.

Sou

at least all i'm doing is making a few assumptions rather than hurling insults around though, eh?

PlayingHardball

Nasty. Hopefully the OP questions have been answered as requested. I don't doubt what OP has gone through, I make no assumptions either way.

chriszzz

sadeelisha wrote: »

Now, a few weeks ago he got a court order of this access ;

1st and 3rd weekend 5pm fri til 5pm sunday
One week easter
one week christmas
2 weeks summer hols
half of every half term :eek:
i am devatated about this but thats another story.
So with this amount of overnight contact am i even going to get any money now? i know id still be entitled to the arrears but ive got a feeling ill end up with nothing. The a*hole only wanted the access to reduce his payments

Maybe this is the way courts should review all access and give NRPs more rights to spend time with their children, dont see any reason why this is not put in place and let NRPs take back their rights to their children, who said that it should be the PWC who call all the shots?

For all the NRPs who dont want access or contact with their children, well the only thing that can happen in this situation is to pursue for child support.

SingleSue

sadeelisha wrote: »

Apart from clearingout/missmontana/playinghardball, thanks a lot for all your horrible assumptions! how dare you accuse me of being greedy! you dont know me or anything about my case.
As for "contact blocking" yes i did block contact and fought him all the way. This man beat me up every day we were together, once with my baby in his arms crying and screaming "mammy" while i lay on the floor under his boot. He also smashed the back door glass when she was stood in front of it showering shards of glass all over her. In the early days of our seperation, hed bring her home and hed be so drunk he couldnt walk straight. Thats why its taken him 5 years to get this order to prove he has changed. Sorry speadster if you think i was being unreasonable there.
As for "screw the money" no matter what financial position youre in, what kind of ignorant selfish *** thinks he can shun his responsibilities? being a parent costs money, why should he get to !!!! all his money up against the wall instead of providing for his daughter? if he,or any of you think you can just leave the financial needs of your children to someone else, then you shouldnt have had kids.
He only went for this court order after criminal compliance got him and i started getting money. The fact that you can call me greedy for worrying that ill have NO money at all to help feed and clothe my daughter when he is happily paying for things for his new girlfriends three kids (that are not his) well that says a lot about YOU. How horrible to pounce on someone asking for some advice on what i thought would be a helpful forum of people going through similar situations.
I asked one question, if i would lose all money due to the amount of overnight stays. Not for a load of judgemental,bitter nrp's (oops sorry was that an assumption) to take their grumbles out on me !!!

Erm excuse me! I didn't make any assumptions, merely thought out loud about my own contact arrangements where I can't get my ex husband to have them for more than 2 hours twice a year (if we are lucky)!

Blob

Oh well time to join this one as just found it!

I will try to stay detached in my opinion and comments.

The best way to find out about how much your CS would go down is to go to the CSA site and check on the calculator that is there.

Then to comtact! Very simply put, it is enshrined in the Childrens Act that it is in the best interest of the child to have contact with both parents. However there are points that have to be taken into account, and violence, drug/achole abuse and the like are there.

I would suggest that there is no appeal of a contact order, but if you are in any doubt as to the safty of your child and there is inderpendent evidence to back it up, then you should be able to apply for a new contact order. One thing that is a must, is that there is a review of the order on a regular basis 6 month to a year, this would then give both sides the chance to bring new concerns to the table. Work with me here been there done that, if half of the things I am supposed to have done are true then they would have thrown away the key. Instead the Law Soc took my ex's solicitor to bits, the Legal Aid Board made her repay all of the money that they had paid out, and the Judge went to town, but that is a different case and not for discussion here.

Lastly, Sou you mist me, I'm touched.

missmontana

I think she should just wait it out and see what happens, its all very well him getting a court order, but sticking to it is another thing.

clearingout

crikey, I go away for a few days and all hell broke lose! It is not right to make assumptions and to the OP, I apologise for any assumptions I may have made. Money and contact are difficult issues and hard for many of us to separate, even if we know we should. We all need to know where we are with money - it's important that we can pay our bills, put food on the table, buy clothes and make sure the kids go to football, swimming and take presents to all the parties they're invited to.... I have done nothing but struggle since my ex and his successful business left us to take his girlfriend on regular holidays and buy her a new wardrobe of clothes and I haven't had anything other than one CSA payment from him. My home will be repossessed if I don't get it sold soon. But he sees his children and I am proud to say that I haven't, and I won't block contact on the 'you're not paying up' basis. The boys will judge him sooner or later. I suspect I have to wait until they're parents themselves when all will become clear - but at least they will have a good relationship with dad and that's important. they'll save their respect for me, that much I do know and I'm prepared to wait for the 'gosh mum, you really did look after us, didn't you?' comments.

In the meantime, thank goodness for Tax Credits and the welfare state, something I never thought I'd need and for which I am very, very grateful now!