Finally getting CSA after 5 years, now he has "shared care"

rapunzelz86

Last month i had my 1st csa payment ever,5 years after claiming. nrp is a job hopper, and criminal compliance finally caught up with him. im getting around £400 a month including arrears for the forseeable.
Now, a few weeks ago he got a court order of this access ;

1st and 3rd weekend 5pm fri til 5pm sunday
One week easter
one week christmas
2 weeks summer hols
half of every half term :eek:
i am devatated about this but thats another story.
So with this amount of overnight contact am i even going to get any money now? i know id still be entitled to the arrears but ive got a feeling ill end up with nothing. The a*hole only wanted the access to reduce his payments

missmontana

I guess it depends if he does what the court order says!

How many nights does it add up to?

speedster

tosh.

NOBODY goes through the court for a CO just to get a reduction in csa.

there's clearly a whole lot more to this case. like why has he has to go through the court to gain contact. that would suggest contact blocking.

and yes he would get a reduction of 1/7th based on that level of contact.

surely, a 1/7th reduction in your money is worth it if it means your child has meaningful contact with dad.

or, are you really as greedy as your post suggests????

PlayingHardball

Hiya,

Did he have that level of contact whilst he was job hopping? If not, I'd question his motives for gaining a court order as well. You should keep a very clear record of ALLthe overnight visits your child/ren spend with him.

moomoomama27

I'm with speedster on this! No-one would want that much access just to get a reduction in support payments! Infact it'll cost him more, as he has to feed them, take them out and provide for them while they are in his care!

Surely it's not about the money ::sigh:: I would be over the moon that he wants a good stable relationship with his kids, screw the money, I'd rather my children be happy and secure knowing both parents are there! Than worry about reductions in money!!

SingleSue

I'd love for my ex husband to want to have just one of those weekends let alone all of them!

speedster

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I'm with speedster on this! No-one would want that much access just to get a reduction in support payments! Infact it'll cost him more, as he has to feed them, take them out and provide for them while they are in his care!

Surely it's not about the money ::sigh:: I would be over the moon that he wants a good stable relationship with his kids, screw the money, I'd rather my children be happy and secure knowing both parents are there! Than worry about reductions in money!!

there's definitely more to it.

and as far as i'm concerned, if her ex has had to fight her in court, then you can be pretty sure that......

1. he's been party to a bit ocontact blocking, or why else the CO application in the first place?? we don't trapse off to court lightly. reasonable pwc don't get hauled off to court on a whim.

2. to go for that level of contact (quite similar to my order) then it's NOT about saving a poxy 1/7th csa payments.

and as has been said, a healthy relationship with dad is worth far more than a paltry 1/7th....

unless it's just greed of course.

clearingout

1. he's been party to a bit ocontact blocking, or why else the CO application in the first place?? we don't trapse off to court lightly. reasonable pwc don't get hauled off to court on a whim.


I disagree speedster - my ex took me to court purely because he was judging me by his girlfriend's standards (her children see father one night a fortnight). I never, not once, not even in anger, suggested that I would block contact (and he admits this). He had me in court almost as soon as leaving home - I had had no time at all to digest what was happening (he'd been having an affair, left me in the very early stages of pregnancy with our third child) let alone understand that by blocking contact I'd somehow be 'entitled' to more money (bit of a joke that one, one payment made in 17 months now!!!). He was also scared that I would up and leave the area (I grew up over 300 miles away from where we live) when I didn't consider it at all (haven't lived 'at home' for over 20 years now) and so thought that by securing a Shared Residency Order he'd be able to stop me moving.

Ex didn't count on my mum stumping up thousands for legal fees whilst he used his business bank account to fund his side (tax man will catch up with him one day, I'm sure!!!). He thought I'd be a push over. He thought I'd run in the opposite direction of a court appearance but I didn't and I fought long and hard for what I considered to be 'best' for our children. 17 months down the line, his girlfriend has gone and in his own words, hes' 'made the biggest mistake of my life' and is begging to come back. He freely admits he took me to court because of HIS anger, his inability to sit down and discuss what was going on with me, and because he thought I would cave in.

That said, I generally agree that there is probably more to this story than meets the eye, but I'm not sure it's helpful to generalise.

to the OP, you will get a reduction yes, but you won't lose everything. Far better, as everyone else has said, that your children have a good relationship with their father into the longer term.

rapunzelz86

Apart from clearingout/missmontana/playinghardball, thanks a lot for all your horrible assumptions! how dare you accuse me of being greedy! you dont know me or anything about my case.
As for "contact blocking" yes i did block contact and fought him all the way. This man beat me up every day we were together, once with my baby in his arms crying and screaming "mammy" while i lay on the floor under his boot. He also smashed the back door glass when she was stood in front of it showering shards of glass all over her. In the early days of our seperation, hed bring her home and hed be so drunk he couldnt walk straight. Thats why its taken him 5 years to get this order to prove he has changed. Sorry speadster if you think i was being unreasonable there.
As for "screw the money" no matter what financial position youre in, what kind of ignorant selfish *** thinks he can shun his responsibilities? being a parent costs money, why should he get to !!!! all his money up against the wall instead of providing for his daughter? if he,or any of you think you can just leave the financial needs of your children to someone else, then you shouldnt have had kids.
He only went for this court order after criminal compliance got him and i started getting money. The fact that you can call me greedy for worrying that ill have NO money at all to help feed and clothe my daughter when he is happily paying for things for his new girlfriends three kids (that are not his) well that says a lot about YOU. How horrible to pounce on someone asking for some advice on what i thought would be a helpful forum of people going through similar situations.
I asked one question, if i would lose all money due to the amount of overnight stays. Not for a load of judgemental,bitter nrp's (oops sorry was that an assumption) to take their grumbles out on me !!!

rapunzelz86

Oh and by the way, when we came out of court the day he got that order, he laughed and said "ha, thatll screw up your csa wont it, told you id get out of it".
You dont know this evil man so dont assume NOBODY would ever do something. most people would never dream of doing a lot of things hes done. that doesnt mean all people are the same.

speedster

if you don't post any relevant facts then people will make assumptions.

so , it's no good crying bully.

your question was answered, he'll only get a 1/7th reduction, so it hasn't exactly "screwed up the csa case"

i'm off now as it's clear you're only after a bit of attention and a row. hence the wording of your OP.

take care.