Finally getting CSA after 5 years, now he has "shared care"

rapunzelz86

The whole point is, i didnt post saying "hey, what do you guys think about this contact thats been granted,isnt it awful,nrp is so in the wrong". i didnt ask for anyones opinions on this. I simply asked for some advice on how csa calculate,and we all know that the csa dont give a damn which parent is in the right/wrong over contact, its irrelevant.Why speedster felt the need to start judging me by his own ex's standards and accusing me of all sorts shows what a silly person he is. I didnt ask for your opinion,so keep it to yourelf. Yes youre entitled to your opinion/freedom of speech/this is an open forum etc etc but the ins and outs of my case are none of your business. The fact that most of you men think that because youve been to court a few times you have legal qualifications high enough to assess me and my nrp whom you know nothing about, well.
Also can i point something out - maybe all courts work differently but any one that ive been to in this case, i have not been allowed to directly speak, and neither has nrp, our solicitors speak for us, put the suggestions to the judge, thats it. I certainly dont hurl abuse around in courts, i have respect for the people inside them. If i wasnt treated like some evil cow on here then id respect all of you too.
Id also like to point out that nrp has had all his court fees paid by legal aid (yes even when hes working,somehow) so its really not that hard. So many people saying no one would go to court for the sake of it, like going to court really takes that much hard work? You sit around while your lawyer does all the work, and you get yourself in the car for a 20 minute drive or so,every couple of months, sit in a room, and go home.
Anyway like i said, i never wanted a discussion on this, ive had my question answered so ill leave you all to it.

rapunzelz86

sadeelisha wrote: »

Last month i had my 1st csa payment ever,5 years after claiming. nrp is a job hopper, and criminal compliance finally caught up with him. im getting around £400 a month including arrears for the forseeable.
Now, a few weeks ago he got a court order of this access ;

1st and 3rd weekend 5pm fri til 5pm sunday
One week easter
one week christmas
2 weeks summer hols
half of every half term :eek:
i am devatated about this but thats another story.
So with this amount of overnight contact am i even going to get any money now? i know id still be entitled to the arrears but ive got a feeling ill end up with nothing. The a*hole only wanted the access to reduce his payments

PLease read my OP again. Tell me how this conflicts with "the story i later gave". I did specifically point out that, the fact i was devastated about the contact was another story, because that is not what i wanted to talk about. I then felt forced to explain my story because evryone was accusing me of being greedy and all i care about is money. Sorry, this forum is a child support forum isnt it? it is about dealings with the csa?
Im sorry but im not bothered what any of you think,whether you think im lying or not. To be honest im not really looking for your approval? pathetic. nothing better to do than go on forums attacking people. and yes,i got abusive to speedster,and probably shouldnt have dropped to his level, but his slimy smarmy comments with his slimy wink after each one were just out of order. Oh and im assuming youre all full of sweetness and light and never speak out of turn to anyone, ever do you.

moomoomama27

sadeelisha wrote: »

PLease read my OP again. Tell me how this conflicts with "the story i later gave". I did specifically point out that, the fact i was devastated about the contact was another story, because that is not what i wanted to talk about. I then felt forced to explain my story because evryone was accusing me of being greedy and all i care about is money. Sorry, this forum is a child support forum isnt it? it is about dealings with the csa?
Im sorry but im not bothered what any of you think,whether you think im lying or not. To be honest im not really looking for your approval? pathetic. nothing better to do than go on forums attacking people. and yes,i got abusive to speedster,and probably shouldnt have dropped to his level, but his slimy smarmy comments with his slimy wink after each one were just out of order. Oh and im assuming youre all full of sweetness and light and never speak out of turn to anyone, ever do you.

Actually I try really hard not to, because it's does nothing and achieves nothing in the long-run! Believe me I've had problems in the past with a NRP but it's not worth name calling, contact blocking or anything like it, it's all about the child, all about what's in the best interest of the child end of. Getting agressive, being angry and abusive doesn't achieve anything but hard feelings and emotional scarring for a child that lives with fighting parents.

The parents actions reflect on the child.

rapunzelz86

And are you suggesting that i dont want whats best for my child? for gods sake, what did i do to all of you?
If only i had a scanner. i could upload copies of all the police reports re the violence i suffered,all the social services reports from his days of being drunk whilst my daughter was in his care, then a copy of the court order. Why would i lie? believe me, im the first person to think this order is unbelievable.but its happened. i am appealing,so we'll see.Im leaving this thread now,i walked away from a bully a long time ago.

Soubrette

Just to clarify one point - in a court of law regarding access, a person would not be addressing the judge unless they are defending themselves (AFAIK)

In a tribunal there is a judge but it is much more informal, there people often do address the judge.

HonestJohn - despite Speedster's blusters about how he outwits his ex at every turn, legally and financially, he is still not the PWC although one day he will be *rolleyes*. I tend to take those parts of his posts with a pinch of salt although in general he is one of the more helpful NRPs except when his buttons are pressed (probably the same as the rest of us).

He reminds me a lot of Blob so I tend to like him I miss Blob though

Sou

moomoomama27

sadeelisha wrote: »

And are you suggesting that i dont want whats best for my child? for gods sake, what did i do to all of you?
If only i had a scanner. i could upload copies of all the police reports re the violence i suffered,all the social services reports from his days of being drunk whilst my daughter was in his care, then a copy of the court order. Why would i lie? believe me, im the first person to think this order is unbelievable.but its happened. i am appealing,so we'll see.Im leaving this thread now,i walked away from a bully a long time ago.

You're reading things that aren't there I'm afraid.

Honest_broker07

Sadeelisha

you refer to your ex as an A*hole in your Opening post, so of course people read anger into it.

and sorry but I don't believe that we have the whole story here, if he's as bad as you are saying i'm pretty certain he'd have got practically zip contact, no ifs, no buts.

AFAIK you can't appeal a contact order.

IMHO the fact that your ex will have the child 22% of the time but only get 1/7 reduction shows he wasn't just after a reduction in payments otherwise he'd have gone for the extra to give him 104 days a year.

It's actually a nonsense that a father who has the child 1/2 the time pays anything !
Each parent is equally responsible therefore a child sharing equally with both parents should generate a nil liability on both sides.

speedster

Soubrette wrote: »

Just to clarify one point - in a court of law regarding access, a person would not be addressing the judge unless they are defending themselves (AFAIK)

In a tribunal there is a judge but it is much more informal, there people often do address the judge.

HonestJohn - despite Speedster's blusters about how he outwits his ex at every turn, legally and financially, he is still not the PWC although one day he will be *rolleyes*. I tend to take those parts of his posts with a pinch of salt although in general he is one of the more helpful NRPs except when his buttons are pressed (probably the same as the rest of us).

He reminds me a lot of Blob so I tend to like him I miss Blob though

Sou

a RO application would be futile as there are no wlefare issues, so it would not be in the "childs best interests" to grant one EITHER way.

it is a waiting game for us, as it is for many nrp's who become pwc as the children mature and wise up to the peetiness and vindictiveness of their pwc's.

thing is, as i have said, attitude in court has a MASSIVE bearing on how well you do.

also, as i said, the attitude of the OP it's no wonder her ex got as high a level of contact that he has (deservedly or not)

GobbledyGook

Honest_broker07 wrote: »

Sadeelisha

you refer to your ex as an A*hole in your Opening post, so of course people read anger into it.

and sorry but I don't believe that we have the whole story here, if he's as bad as you are saying i'm pretty certain he'd have got practically zip contact, no ifs, no buts.

AFAIK you can't appeal a contact order.

IMHO the fact that your ex will have the child 22% of the time but only get 1/7 reduction shows he wasn't just after a reduction in payments otherwise he'd have gone for the extra to give him 104 days a year.

It's actually a nonsense that a father who has the child 1/2 the time pays anything !
Each parent is equally responsible therefore a child sharing equally with both parents should generate a nil liability on both sides.

Surely that would completely depend on the income of both parents? Hardly fair if 1 parent was a millionaire and the other was on minimum wage. Although that's probably another debate for another day.

speedster

Honest_broker07 wrote: »

Speedster,

Wish I knew where you lived cos I reckon we have so much in common it's probably untrue.

In my case I believe they way she dressed in court, the way she referred to me and the judge, and most of all the proven lies she put in statements probably counted very strongly against her.

lol.

first blunder for my ex was that she refused to explain why she declined mediation. she just sat there like a child shrugging her shoulders at him!!

the best one my ex did though in court, under mild questioning was to stand up, slam her hands on the table and scream "you're just lucky i let you see her at all!! :eek:

the judge went mental! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: