Finally getting CSA after 5 years, now he has "shared care"

chriszzz

I always thought that if the NRP was displaying threatening behaviour, aggressive physically or mentally that the NRP needs to have supervised visits with the child/ren.
Forgive me if am wrong but I would be fighting that the NRP is potentially a dangerous parent, If the NRP was violent toward you for no reason then I would be making it my mission that my child/ren are safe. Who knows but he may have mental health problems that have not yet been diagnosed.

chriszzz

chriszzz wrote: »

I always thought that if the NRP was displaying threatening behaviour, aggressive physically or mentally that the NRP needs to have supervised visits with the child/ren.
Forgive me if am wrong but I would be fighting that the NRP is potentially a dangerous parent, If the NRP was violent toward you for no reason then I would be making it my mission that my child/ren are safe. Who knows but he may have mental health problems that have not yet been diagnosed.

Seemed to have miss the part were you have said that it has took him 5yrs to change, well I suppose then you cant always hold it against them if they have made a vast improvement to their aggression.

wuckfit

Personally, I think that anyone who blocks contact yet demands as much money from the NRP as possible is guilty of double-standards. Similarly, anyone who fights for contact for the sole purpose of reducing their liability to the CSA is just as guilty.

It makes me very sad to see so many stories of supposed adults using their children as pawns in a game of points-scoring, with no regard for the emotional well-being of their offspring.
If parents aren't mature enough to act with their children's best interests at heart, regardless of the state of their relationship, then they shouldn't have become parents in the first place.
Too many kids are being emotionally abused by selfish parents whose relationship has deteriorated for whatever reason and are fueled by hate and revenge and not their children's best interests. It's not the child's fault that a relationship failed. but they're the ones who suffer as a result of their parents anger/selfishness.

Selfishness, for the avoidance of doubt, IMO includes refusing to pay the PWC for the upbringing of the children, as well as intentional contact blocking.

PlayingHardball

Hi Sadeleesha, I hope some of the comments have helped here, I am fully aware that SOME NRP will do anything within their power to avoid their full responsibilities towards their child/children, I'm experiencing that now with my ex, it is terrible and I can't fathom how any decent human can just walk away.

As for your negative commenters, there are some on here who just love to argue with any PWC who dares to question the financial support we are entitled to from NRP, some see us all as greedy, jealous of new wives/partners, bitter, etc. I choose to ignore these negative comments in favour of those on this forum who are here to post useful, factual comments.

I don't know all your facts, but I would be fighting against any unsupervised contact if your ex has been violent in the past - curious to know how the courts are allowing this?

speedster

perhaps there's more to it than meets the eye.

if he was as bad as stated, i can assure you, he would NOT have been granted that level of contact.

the word troll springs to mind.

rapunzelz86

Good riddance speedster. what a pucking frick! "relevant facts" err yes i did - the only facts that were relevant to my question were the amount of contact he was getting,considering i was only asking if money would be reduced completely. God no wonder youre an nrp mate!
wuckfit, i havent "demanded as much money as possible" at all,and hes been having regular,fortnightly contact now for 2 years.This court order was made as a final order to close the case.so yes, i blocked contact whilst i feared for my childs safety,and never expected any money. since hes been having contact i think its my daughters right, and his responsibility, to pay his half for her.
Playinghardball, hi
Believe me, i have fought and fought. the courts have let me down terribly. In the beginning of course all the courts would allow was contact at a contact centre under the supervision of cafcass. This went on for many months, he had to prove he was stable,reliable etc. Then they started giving him unsupervised, after hed had regular drug/alchohol tests,and had his medical records checked (there were reports of suicide attemts - he had tried this 3 times when we were together too). It started off he would collect her from my grandmothers (not allowed my address) for 2 hours, then 4, then they upped it to 6. that went on for a few months. Then they granted him one overnight stay per month, from 10am sat til 5pm sun.
That was back in May last year. Now, apart from christmas where i agreed of my own accord that he could have her for two nights, that is the contact hes had for almost a year. Then last week they put it up to that. It shocked me purely because of the huge leap from one night a month to weeks at a time, and of course with it being easter hols now,shes over there tomorrow for a week ill miss her so much! shes even cried her eyes out saying she doesnt want to go, but hey, HER opinions dont count do they. She hates it there.she says he never plays with her or takes her anywhere.the only fun she has is playing with his gf kids (the eldest of whom she had taken off her as a baby work that out!).
Thanks for being a normal,helpful person anyway. some people are truly horrible and its uncalled for.

rapunzelz86

congratulations on graduateing as a family law solicitor speedster -NOT.Why dont you go and assure yourself of something mate - its usually those most insecure with theyre own pathetic lives that feel the need to judge other peoples ;);););)
only creeps wink by the way xxx

speedster

charming. i'm not the one throwing insults around.

i'm just saying it as i see it and commenting on the financial aspects, as i have done on this thread form the start. it's an open forum after all. perhaps you should try the wimmins aid forum. you'd slot right in over there.

you clearly have issues.

good day.

speedster

sadeelisha wrote: »

congratulations on graduateing as a family law solicitor speedster -NOT.Why dont you go and assure yourself of something mate - its usually those most insecure with theyre own pathetic lives that feel the need to judge other peoples ;);););)
only creeps wink by the way xxx

your post has more holes in it than a tea strainer.

clearly another side to your story.

rapunzelz86

Why dont you go and play on a train track? That would be helpful. I feel sorry for your kids mother. shes well rid!