question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

boliston

Bluefire wrote: »

It's nothing substantial, we're either talking contributions to minor things like paint/furnishings or items such as furniture that should we split up they would be 'mine' and I would take them with me. I'm very on board with the idea of what's his is his, there would be no issue of me claiming against his house. As far as I'm concerned what I contribute here financially is no different to improvements I would make on a house that I was renting; doesn't entitle me to any of the landlord's property worth!

OK, paint is more "maintenance" that "improvement" so I doubt there is any risk.

Furniture as you say is no worry as it does not affect the property itself and could easily be brought out or split if the worst happened.

Winter_Jasmine

Hi, I'm not going to make any personal judgements about you - what I will say is that I can understand your concerns. My thoughts are as follows:

• If I was you and she was moving in rent free, I'd be worried that at some point (especially if the relationship deteriorated) I'd get resentful that she was living in my house. If I was her, I'd also be worried about that.
• If she moves to you, to live in your home, she's leaving her whole life behind which is a big leap of faith with, basically, no security
• You're not going to be out of pocket on a mortgage by her moving in, so rent doesn't seem appropriate - a 50/50 split of all bills does though
• She'd be moving into your house - will she ever really feel at home? What if she wants to redecorate or have her family to stay - would you be prepared to compromise on this, given that you've worked your !!!! off to pay for the place and, presumably, have it set up exactly to your liking?
• The idea about her buying half the house isn't too bad but then what if you split up? You would have to sell the home that you've already paid for once - what if you couldn't afford to buy her half back?
• Personally, I think the best solution would be to buy a new place together, wherever suits you best. Up to you whether you sell your house or rent it out (I'd keep hold of it if at all possible), That way, you'd be starting out together, as equal partners and could avoid all this potential nastiness which could kill off your relationship.

Just my thoughts

scottishblondie

Wow this one has turned out to be pretty controversial. I might be with the minority here - please do not crucify me for this!! Or at least read my full post first (I know it's long)

If my BF moved in with me I would expect him to contribute something alongside his share of the bills, and I would also have a formal signed agreement in place about what he would be entitled to if we split. My flat is essentially my inheritance, and as such I wouldn't want to put it at risk. I wouldn't want to profit from him, and yes, I do love him!

At the moment he lives with his parents (although he has just bought his own place so this is a non-issue for us) and they charge him rent to stay there, so I don't think that moving in with me should be any different. Due a somewhat complicated situation financial situation with family I pay "myself" rent which goes into a pot for replacing appliances like the fridge etc and maintenance, the remains of which will eventually be divided up when I sell. If he uses it too and it breaks, why shouldn't he be contributing something to the fund to replace it? Of course if he were to move out I would give him back an appropriate amount of this contribution (as per our prior formal agreement).

In short, if my BF moved in I would expect him to pay a portion of this "rent" and half of the bills. All in it would significantly less than his parents ask for - by my calculation I would ask for about £60 plus half bills, so around £150 a month altogether.

I know signed agreements and all that aren't romantic but you have to be practical these days - for example people going into marriages with significant assets often sign prenups. I don't agree that it would make him nothing more than a lodger. I wouldn't cook and clean for a lodger for starters! My opinion is better safe than sorry, and having a formal agreement would eliminate a lot of arguments should you split.

OP I do think that you are going way OTT with a figure of £250 a month plus half bills. That really would be profiting from her. The amount of money you have spent on visiting her and her higher salary shouldn't really have a bearing on this. Come up with a reasonable amount between you and agree what this money is to be used for and what happens to it if you split.

paybacktime2008

Rent your house out Keep te rent for yourself. Rent somewhere between you, pay half each. Then if it all goes tits up you have somewhere to go back to. If it all goes fantastically you can decide from there.

You never know someone until you've lived with them and this seems the most sensible option to me at least.

ellies_angel

I have moved in with my boyfriend and his daughter (adult student) and her boyfriend. His morgage is paid off. I pay for the shopping for the 3 of us and the council tax. He pays for the gas, electric and telephone. I rent out my house, the rent I received doesn't cover the cost of my morgage £100 short and on top of that I pay landlord insurance and British Gas service agreement plus the usual annual charges required when your renting out your house.
I do all the shopping, cooking and cleaning in the house. I haven't been asked to pay rent and would tell him very quickly where he could go if he asked for rent. I am financially worse off living with him, feeding 4 instead of 1 and the council tax has doubled. It would be different if he had a morgage. I could suggest of course that we split things 4 ways, wow then I would really be rich beyond my wildest dreams!!!
I would never want to profit out of my family but at the same time am not looking for a free ride. Living with someone you make sacrifices, give and take and a whole load of compromises. I guess what you need to decide is whats important to you

boliston

ellies_angel wrote: »

I have moved in with my boyfriend and his daughter (adult student) and her boyfriend. His morgage is paid off. I pay for the shopping for the 3 of us and the council tax. He pays for the gas, electric and telephone.

You are effectively paying rent by paying more than your own 33% share of the shopping and council tax (OK 50% of council tax as students don't count), as I doubt that is fully offset by him paying your 33% share of the gas/electric/phone.

Bluefire

boliston wrote: »

OK, paint is more "maintenance" that "improvement" so I doubt there is any risk.

Exactly. We did a lot of research on co-habiting before we took the step of moving in together, as unromantic as it may sound, and it was agreed from the start that I wouldn't be paying towards anything which might entitle me to a share in the value of the house. Which is perfectly fine by me, and it's good to know where everyone stands right from the beginning.

Still, if you saw the state of the place when I moved in you'd agree paint is an improvement

prowla

I think the girlfriend probably pays him in kind.
But perhaps she should pack her bags and go.

richardvc

I am playing devil's advocate here (this is not my opinion!) but the OP's girlfriend seems to think he is profiting from her charging rent but she seems quite happy to live in HIS house that he really grafted to pay off the mortgage.

Secondly, (not my opinion either), how much would she pay if she lived in her own house ?

My personal opinion is that she should contribute to the bills and/or pay a form of rent that goes into an account and that they both profit from it ie paying for a holiday, something for the house etc etc

That way she contributes but gets something nice back !

She feels valued without being an 'income' for her other half and he feels that she is making a valuable contribution - Simples !

Snowy_Owl

Richardvc - that makes sense! Looking through these posts, I was thinking a similar thing - put what she would pay in rentinto a "savings pot" that would contribute to a joint "thing" e.g. holidays, doing up the house whatever. If the relationship becomes more serious (like marriage or kids) you have an emergency / start-up fund. If you split, she simply takes back what she's put in.

Snowy