question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

dollydumpling

Hi OP. I don't think that you sound mean or tight or anything else that has been thown at you over the last few pages, the conversations that you and your beloved are having now re: finances seems sensible to me. I can't add much but thanks for posting it has really made me think. I am single and mortgage free and I hadn't considered what I would do if someone moved in with me. I guess that I would like to think that we would both benefit from me being mortgage free; that we could have more or better holidays etc. Just thinking about it freaks me out though, I think of my flat as "mine" something that will always be mine no matter what. In an ideal world I guess that I would rent my place out and "we" would buy a place together. Thanks again.

immoral_angeluk

No, she shouldn't be paying 'rent'. However, she SHOULD, without doubt, be contributing towards the household costs and bills. She's got the priviledge of living with you, you're not a free ride!

[Deleted User]

OP - Are you a troll? Surely no-one is this concerned with money. At the end of the day, you cant take it with you mate. If your concerned about your gf getting something for free off you then maybe she shouldnt be moving in.

justwondering25

[quote=[Deleted User];31451021]OP - Are you a troll? Surely no-one is this concerned with money. At the end of the day, you cant take it with you mate. If your concerned about your gf getting something for free off you then maybe she shouldnt be moving in.[/QUOTE]

No i'm not a troll , but i am taking a keen interest in my finances , nothing wrong with that , more people should be this kean , whats wrong with taking about the costs of a relationship with a loved one , tell you what its the 2nd biggest fact of life , Its allllll about the money , nothing is free in this world.

justwondering25

A lot of words of wisdom have been put in the this thread , i agree rent is not the best idea , a more delicate approach is required that benefits us both , so no rent to be paid , bills based on earnings etc , money put away together instead of rent, i think this will be a more tactful approach , and perhaps a agreement put in place that says what ever is who evers at the end of the day if we split , everyone should be happy and of course a whole lotttttta loving .

tyllwyd

One other thing to think about - would you be happy for her to treat you like a landlord - if the house needs decorating, if the carpets are worn out, if the toilet is blocked, if the boiler needs replacing, she just puts the problem to you in writing and expects you to get it all sorted with no contribution from her?

I think you've come to the best solution - put some savings away together, that way you've got a holiday fund/saving for a deposit on a bigger house/rainy day fund etc.

rustybucket

I'm a bloke, I'd be shocked to even consider having this chat with my girlfriend.

Yes share bills etc but rent???? There is no mortgage.

You have now stated that maybe rent is a bad idea. However I have an awful feeling that due to your frugal state of moneysaving you may bring the fact up every now and then that she does not pay rent, thats going to make her feel great isn't it?

And another thing, I used to drive a round trip of 400 miles each weekend to see my girlfriend for 3 years, not once did I consider the costs of fuel or wear and tear to my car, being in her company was all that mattered.

Sounds like you're more worried about your savings than anything else.

tabskitten

She should be there because you WANT her there. No other reason.
Money should not even come into it.

Never mind.

tesuhoha

I think if I were your girlfriend this would put me off to the extent that I would dump you. Its just a personal thing, but the two things I cannot stand are meaness and pettiness, and this is both.

niccatw

From the forum etiquette guide:
Please be nice to all MoneySavers : There's no such thing as a stupid question and, even if you disagree, courtesy helps.


You've had spme harsh responses! It is difficult to grasp a good overview of other people's situations from written information given in a post and it seems to me that some people have made judgements based on how they live their lives, or made negative assumptions.

I think your idea to have a joint account to use however you both decide and a signed agreement to say who is entitled to what if things don't work out is a sensible one. Good luck for the future.

mrstinchcombe wrote: »

I have a lodger, he contributes financially to my house and theres no contract or anything drawn up because I know him and hes a friend. When he leaves he has no claim on my house despite contributing towards the mortgage.

I'm not in a relationship with the lodger, but why would that make a difference?

(Obviously Im discounting a marriage)

I'd get a tenancy agreement in place. I am in the same situation as you and I didn't take a deposit for that reason. However, though I trust him, I would not want either of us to be in a position where we were not protected if things went wrong. I'd rather have an agrrement in place for peace of mind and so we can actually share the flat and remain friends.

moggylover wrote: »

I had the exact same situation. House of my own, worked 16 hour days (2 jobs) and 7 day weeks for nearly 12 years to pay for it (so probably a lot harder than the op has done:D). The ONLY thing I asked from my OH was that he signed an agreement NOT to claim against the house should we split up. That was especially important to me as we have children and they need a home and I provided that home.

The rest of the living costs get shared. The "roof over our head" got shared and he got the benefit of that "roof" (technically I suppose although I would never have thought of it that way) because he helped with maintenance and work.

When we split, he never even considered making a claim against the house and my children still have the security of that.

Very sensible