DFW Daily Chat Monday 29 March

judi24

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

:-) i imagine its more fun than cleaning the play room

Oh it is! and i am doing something constructive - just phoned shopperdiscount.com who was putting £10 on my cc a month since Jan cos I accidently signed up to it when buying a train ticket - total scam!!! Got it refunded and cancelled!

And worked out Aprils budget and should be able to pay off around £2000 of debt this month!!!!

ZTD

Gonzo. Unless your wife gets a job or some other form of income, then she is not financially independent. Full stop.

She can pretend she's financially independent by using a plastic card, but it's about as real as pretending she's a fairy princess by using a plastic wand.

Burlesque_Babe

hi all - head change time

It's a difficult one gonzo. First of all I thought - do it - but get her to cut up the barclaycard and then show the letter to cancel the card she has signed. Only have 1 card (the low rate one) in your name, cut it up when it arrives and then she can't spend on it (well, not easily).

However, this does mean taking on a lot of debt in your name and whilst you don't see yourselves splitting up, there are lots and lots of examples littered around the board where this happens and ultimately she has to take responsibility for what she has done.

How about getting the cheap bottle of wine, sitting down and doing a plan of attack with her so she feels she can take control of the situation - own the issue - and know how to learn and move forwards in a motivating positive way. You say she is a SAHM, how about pointing her to the Up Your Income board, where there are opportunities (quidco, surveys, mystery shopping, AQA) to earn money whilst at home and slowly reduce the debt, again, helping her take responsibility and owning the issue.

If you take the problem off her hands, she will probably never learn and yes, will more than likely run up more debt when given the opportunity.

It's hard to say 'no, you need to take responsibility' because when we love someone we want to take away the hurt, but prolonging the hurt by softening it for them each time is not ultimately helping.

hope this helps with your thoughts.....

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

hi all - head change time

Do you have little nuts to take if off, or a big quick-change nut like on formula one? Inquiring minds and all that...

judi24

ZTD wrote: »

Gonzo. Unless your wife gets a job or some other form of income, then she is not financially independent. Full stop.

She can pretend she's financially independent by using a plastic card, but it's about as real as pretending she's a fairy princess by using a plastic wand.

Ouch - hard hitting - but true!

Burlesque_Babe

ZTD wrote: »

Do you have little nuts to take if off, or a big quick-change nut like on formula one? Inquiring minds and all that...

Think Worzel Gummidge................the hair style is similar...............:rotfl:

ooooooooooooooooooh, I really don't want to work this afternoon..............sigh............very distracted and thinking of lots of other much nicer things............

scaredy_cat

BB, i've been looking at places to have dinner tomorrow night, have you got any recommendations?

Burlesque_Babe

where are you staying scaredy? I'd say come to me, but I'm on a course myself and won't be in until well gone 9 - typical!

redsquirrel80

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

Think Worzel Gummidge................the hair style is similar...............:rotfl:

ooooooooooooooooooh, I really don't want to work this afternoon..............sigh............very distracted and thinking of lots of other much nicer things............

What sort of nicer things you got on your mind BB?

scaredy_cat

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

where are you staying scaredy? I'd say come to me, but I'm on a course myself and won't be in until well gone 9 - typical!

I'm at the Fleetwater B&B, the course finished about 4.30pm, so plenty of time to mooch about.