DFW Daily Chat Monday 29 March

Happytogetdebtfree

Good luck gonzo :-)

bank_of_slate

gonzo127 wrote: »

well in some ways thats 'the point' and 'the problem' of me taking the debt

the main point being much lower APR 5.9% compared to 19.9% (i believe), also if i went through it i would get the card, do the balance transfers, set up the standing order then wait a month to make sure the payment has gone through and then cut the card up so no more spending can be done on it, and if my wife also cuts up and cancels the barcley card (which woul dbe part of the deal of me taking the debt) then in theory she will have no access to credit

the bad point is if the theory is wrong, if she gets offered some credit on things such as store cards, or cataloges and takes it then we are well and truely !!!!!!ed

This absolutely comes down to trust, do you trust her not to take out any further credit once you have done the balance transfer or will she see it in her mind as being 'debt free'
and then reward herself with even more!
...Linda xx

sammy115

Gonzo...what you are offering her is the equivalent to a consolidation loan, which is strongly advised against...I know you say you aren't going to split up...but stranger things have happened and you will end up with debt in your name.

She hasn't got it...and the only way she will get it is to do her own budgeting and pay her own debts off......you need to do a SOA together and sort this out together but with her paying her debts off...

sammy115

sorry to sound a bit harsh...but just wooooooshing in and out again...

redsquirrel80

Oh Gonzo, I really feel for you, I don't have any other advice to add but hope you can get it sorted.

judi24

bank_of_slate wrote: »

You mean this isn't constructive? :eek:
...Linda xx

Well it's not getting the play room cleaned lol

Happytogetdebtfree

:-) i imagine its more fun than cleaning the play room

sallyx

Gonzo...personally I wouldn't do it. I would sit down with her and go through the SOA with her. If she sees it written down she might understand it too. The other thing I would show her is to go to whats the cost and put in her card and the amount she has as balance, the APR and what she is paying off monthly...it will shock her into realising how long it's going to take her to pay it off.

DO NOT under any circumstances pay this debt off for her..she has to have that LBM herself.

ZTD

gonzo127 wrote: »

hey after a bit of advice, long old post coming....

since most people over the last few weeks have seen my rants about my darling wife and her credit card spending and cataloge spending habbits i might have had a break through over the weekend, however i am a little bit concerned at the same time, but i will give a little bit of background just to refresh peoples minds before i go into the 'break through'

now my wife has been with barcleycard for more years than she can remember and so far has refused to get rid of it as its her 'safety net' and her 'sign of independance' anyways all these things basically add up to a horendous interest rate but also a relitivly high credit limit in comparison to what used to be her income (limit of £3000 on her old annual income of about £13000pa) but she is now a SAHM

anyways on to the problems i have had with her, as it stands at the moment her card is maxed out and on a minimum payment of about £70, ~£67 is interest,

so a week or so ago to try and help the situation i decided to use my quidco money to pay some extra off her card (without her knowledge) anyways she usually just shreds her statements when she gets them since she 'knows' she has no money left on it at the moment (she usually checks it properly about once every 3-6 months to see how much she has paid off)

however this time she checked and she noticed she had 'extra money' so proceeded to go out shopping and spend it so she is back up to her limit, - i personally was hoping that by putting the money off it she would carry on paying the normal 'minimum payment' however since there was less on it due to my extra payment the minimum would be less so increasing the amount we pay of the balance - however as you can see turned into a ultimate fail

so my possible break through,

she is 'fed up' with constantly being broke and not being able to take the kids out to places and keep blaming a loan we had to have when she became pregnant since our house and car both where not big enough for a baby with the two teenagers as well, ok now this doesnt help and will be costing us a small fortune in the long run it was either get an extension or move house, and since she would not move house...

so anyway we had a talk and inbetween her getting all defensive and not wanting to listen plus crying screaming etc, she seems to have finally realised that her credit card and store credit spending are causing us more problems in the short term than the loan, although long term it is a problem but one we can work on once we have got the very high interest rate credit paid off

therefore we have gone through a few of the potential deals availible and the current best one which she seems happy-ish with is the MBNA life of balance card at 5.9% apr, but this is where my worry comes in, since she is not working the only one of us who could get it would be me, so i would be taking on nearly £5000 of debt in my own name, i am ok with this since i am not planning on breaking up with her, and i have said that if we where to do this she must cancel her barcleycard which she has said she would do,

however should i go with this, as she does have a history of saying no more credit and then promptly getting a bit more just £100 here and £100 there,

i want to do this as it would help get it all paid off so much quicker however if i do it and then she ends up getting some more credit it could end up sinking us as we are currently just managing to live within our means we have not actually got into any more debt since Christmas as we have £12 a month left over after everything is paid

so what do you lot think? should i or shouldnt i?

Why don't you try paying a little bit off her barclaycard again, and wait a few months. If she spends it, you'll have your answer, and if she doesn't, you'll have your answer.

All for a lot cheaper than £5,000.

Edit: Try to make the time stretch over an "emergency" like a birthday, or a holiday. That'll give you a better feel for it.

judi24

Gonzo - this is a very difficult situation - it all comes down to having a common goal - being debt free - and working at it together. Meaning both making sacrifices - not you taking responsibility for her spending! I know it is hard when you are both not on the same page - I had a similar experience with my ex - I took control ad did all the quick wins such as changing gas and elec, reducing shopping, and shopping aropund for insurance - we set up a budget with a small amount of pocket money for us both - but he still managed to spend on CC's. I took blance transfers in my name and when we split I was left with arounf £12k on CC's in my name! He continued to run up credit after we split and when I bought him out of the house he paid it all off - (around 25k) leaving him with no money out of the house! I am now stuggling to pay off the £12 k and the increased mortgage. My partner now would be in a positon to help me pay off my debt quicker - but I have decided that I need to pay off on my own as I think if i have worked hard to pay it off I will be less inclined to take on more in the future (this is easier now that almost all is at 0%)

I suppose what I am trying to say in a round about way is that I would be wary of taking on her debt if she is not totally commited to being debt free