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DFW Daily Chat Monday 29 March
Comments
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Difficult one Gonzo,
If you do go ahead, can you open a basic no overdraft, no credit card bank account for her with a debit card?
I have this with a set amount of money that goes into it every month which is mine to spend as I wish, by negotiating a set amount she will still have something to treat herself with, the Solo debit card that I have is accepted pretty much everywhere
...Linda xxIt's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
We dont count all the runners ahead of us & feel intimidated.
Instead we look back proudly at our journey, our personal struggle & determination & remember that there are those that never even attempt to reach the starting line.0 -
Oh crikey Gonzo....don't really know what to suggest as it sound to me like she really hasn't "got it" yet...Debt-free...and staying that way...0
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Gonzo - it's a difficult one!!! Could you not ask her to get rid of her Barclaycard infront of you - ie cut up the card infornt of you - make the phone call to the company infront of you - she may say it looks like you don't trust her - but make a bit of a fuss about it - like a celebration - another step closer to being debt free.:T
On the other hand - if you are BOTH serious about getting debt free - get rid of all CC's and live on cash - set your self and get her to set herself a budget for days out and general spending - at the end of the day you will be debt free faster and can get on with extending your family safe in the knowldge that all of you family have a better financial future to look forward to - it's a matter of prioroty!0 -
In some respects I can empathise with your wife Gonzo - I am about to get rid of my emergency CC this month. currently have 3 CC - the MBNA one is my emergency spending one - if I have an emergency that I have not budgeted for I use this - last month I gave it to my OH for safe keeping as I had a habit if defining a meal out or cinema tickets as an emergency towards the end of the month! He has persuaded me to get rid of it altogether - it will be the first time for many years that I don't have this back up (I will have to ask him for money if I have run out and need something - which I hate doing - so will only do it in an absolute emergency!)0
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Oh Gonzo what a nightmare, certainly sounds like her LBM hasn't arrived yet! Linda's idea about the seperate basic bank account for her could be a good one, then she would retain some "independence". Love Judi's idea of making it a celebration - maybe get a £1.99 bottle of something fizzy and make a real event of card cancelling! Sorry you're in such a situation, I had similar with DH when I first had my LBM - although now he's worse than me at the debt busting! Good luck mate
Paddle #8 DFW Nerd #12840 -
schoolrunmum wrote: »Oh crikey Gonzo....don't really know what to suggest as it sound to me like she really hasn't "got it" yet...
i think that sums up my dilemma in one easy sentance,
yes i dont think she has "got it" yet either, ok she might be part of the way there but i just do not feel as if she really fully understands the need to become debt free when we are on such a tight budget especially with the fact she doesnt want to move house to somewhere cheaper, and she doesnt want to work either (although i did tell her to get a job at the weekend - part of the screaming in our 'chat' was caused by this)
i am just getting fed up of waiting for her to have her lightbulb moment and really do want to take the bull by the horns which is why i am considering taking all her debt on in my name so i can tackle it, especially as since she doesnt work i would hope that she would be unable to get any more credit,Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
I can understand why you would want to take her debt on in your name to get control of it - but would you actually get control or would she just spend on it and you stuggle to pay it off each month without actually making any dent in your overall debt. If she chooses not to work then she has to see that she cannot keep spending while you try to pay off your debt to make your future better0
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Right need to get off here and start something constructive!!!0
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Right need to get off here and start something constructive!!!
You mean this isn't constructive? :eek:
...Linda xxIt's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
We dont count all the runners ahead of us & feel intimidated.
Instead we look back proudly at our journey, our personal struggle & determination & remember that there are those that never even attempt to reach the starting line.0 -
I can understand why you would want to take her debt on in your name to get control of it - but would you actually get control or would she just spend on it and you stuggle to pay it off each month without actually making any dent in your overall debt. If she chooses not to work then she has to see that she cannot keep spending while you try to pay off your debt to make your future better
well in some ways thats 'the point' and 'the problem' of me taking the debt
the main point being much lower APR 5.9% compared to 19.9% (i believe), also if i went through it i would get the card, do the balance transfers, set up the standing order then wait a month to make sure the payment has gone through and then cut the card up so no more spending can be done on it, and if my wife also cuts up and cancels the barcley card (which woul dbe part of the deal of me taking the debt) then in theory she will have no access to credit
the bad point is if the theory is wrong, if she gets offered some credit on things such as store cards, or cataloges and takes it then we are well and truely !!!!!!edDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0
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