Clubbing Alone?

boliston

For some reason I didn't mind going to clubs on my own but was not so keen on going to pubs on my own.

I think the reason is that in a club the main focus is on the dancefloor and dancing, whereas pubs are primarily drinking establishments.

Also clubs tend to be a lot darker in the seating areas so it's not quite so obvious you are on your own.

DCFC79

I can imagine what it would be like clubbing on your own, i wouldnt like it as id be bored, if i was going on my own i wouldnt drink as you dont know if you were to meet any unsavoury characters

millsymuttleylaugh

I'm not really in touch with no one from school, as I mentioned before I've always had a small group of friends. I was bullied a lot in school and only really had one or two friends throughout school, these were the type of friends that were specifically school friends though - only wanted to know you whilst you were at school, outside school they had their own group of friends.

I'd have a problem to go drinking in my local, as the people that tend to go on evenings are the people from my school, seeing me in the pub on my own whilst in their groups would just give them an extra opportunity to pick fun at me, something I don't want or need.

I do want to meet new friends and I'm looking really hard for a job, my problem is my lack of confidence. I'd love to try and get back in contact with those who evicted me but I've not seen any of them since the fall out happened and the girl who I'd most like to be friends with again still has me blocked on facebook so I doubt if I appeared at her front door (the only way I could contact her) she'd be very pleased to see me.

I decided not to go out by myself on that night, but its not something I've crossed out the possibility of. I need to do something off my own back without relying on 'friends' to be with me, because its the fact that I relied on other people to be with me as friends in the first place that I have ended up in this position.

And Chlamydia, yes it is sort of sad, but I have no alternative than to do things on my own. People judging me or treating me as a tag along is how I've wound up with so little friends.

DCFC79

Is there a curse you could possibly do, maybe get it for free if been on jsa for long enough, you could meet some people on the course

Fire_Fox

millsymuttleylaugh wrote: »

I'm 20 and I'm from Doncaster.

I'm unemployed so don't have a job and don't go to college so basically I don't see anyone really. I had a group of friends last year but we drifted apart, they were a couple of years younger than me and soon as one rumour went round I guess I got chosen as the one to be evicted out the group and other than that I only have one friend, I don't see her as often as I'd like and when we do go out together her boyfriend is there.

I don't see how going clubbing is solving any of the issues here, you may have a good night but you are unlikely to make friends in a commercial club environment, neither is the experience going to help you get a job. :huh: Alcohol is a depressant, the last thing you need to be relying on if you have confidence issues. Has your GP offered you counselling for the bullying?

What are your hobbies and interests? What free evening classes can you do at your local college to get you out of the house and improve your CV? What organisations would you be interested in volunteering for to meet people and improve your CV? It doesn't matter if everyone you meet is twice or three times your age, socialising is socialising. :cool: As far as employment goes one of the best jobs I ever had was in a city centre bar and music venue, great 'nights out' for free, met loads of new people, always socialising after work. My ex worked in a series of hotels - another workplace that is chock full of young people all up for a night out. :beer:

Uni students will all be going home around May so there will be a ton of these sort of jobs available - part-time, casual and temporary initially. Print out fifty of copies of your CV and covering letter, dress smartly including a broad smile, hand deliver and then chase up every CV up with a phone call a week or two later. Basically don't wait for a job to be advertised, put yourself out there: this method has never failed to get me work.

If you don't feel you have the experience to work in a customer service environment, then all the more reason to do some voluntary work. If you aren't confident with your CV and covering letter try Connexions, ask at the Jobcentre, post a query on the Employment board or PM me.

flutterbyuk25

DCFC79 wrote: »

Is there a curse you could possibly do, maybe get it for free if been on jsa for long enough, you could meet some people on the course

I'd second that. The charity that I work for does a 12 week personal development course for 16-25 year olds. It could be beneficial to you to look into. There are around 14 young people in each team, it won't affect your benefits and it will help with things like communication, team work, problem solving too. It's very sociable, all the young people tend to hang round with each on weekends too.

http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/need_help/courses/team.aspx

Ask you job centre adviser for more info on how to get on to it if you are interested.

On another note, please don't feel like you are alone in feeling the way you do. If you are confident enough go for it! I am 28 and sometimes wish I had the confidence to go out for a drink on my own! Lots of my friends have settled down so my social circle has changed and I go out less now than I used too. I've just conquered the fear of going to the cinema on my own :rotfl:

Good luck

x

millsymuttleylaugh

Thank you all for your advice.

I'd heard about the princes trust course before (I didn't know what it was called but knew there was like a confidence team building course you could do) I've already been to the job centre today but I'll ask next week as I think its something I'd really benefit from.

Thank you

silverchair

I recommend doing a course through the LEA. Do something you are interested in. They have lots on offer like cooking, pottery, silk screen painting, dancing, foreign languages all at a good price & special discounts if you are not working. A great place to start a hobby/interest & meet people in a more relaxed setting.
I've found that there are periods in life that you may not fit in or know loads of people & then for some reason it changes. I really didnt fit in at school & felt quite lonely, but then at sixth form I was fine & got my confidence back. Again some jobs I didnt really click with the people & felt a bit like an outsider whereas other jobs I really enjoyed socialising with them. Dont worry it will all work out.
Good Luck!

silverchair

I think you are very brave to go clubbing by yourself.
Personally I've found it a bit boring & hated having to wait for friends, especially near the end of the night when Im not drunk & everybody else is & then some guys can be a bit creepy. It took me ages to admit to friend that I hated clubbing since it wasnt really the cool thing to say.
Make sure that you have enough money at the end of the night to cover your cab fare & use a cab with a sticker on it or better still a black cab. Order drinks in a bottle so that you can put your thumb over it so no one drops anything in it.
Gosh Im sounding very old.
Is there anyway that you could do a short working holiday abroad. Its a great experience, you'd really gain your confifence & meet loads of people from all over.

Deals_2

easy to go on your own and sociable. i have been out on my own and never had any problems but then i have also travel to parts of the world on my own too. also i do facebook and have a few ex school mates etc on this so helps with social life. ithink having children or dogs they say helps to socialise too!! i just start a conversation with people as most people appreciate a chat!!! i am quite extrovert really but used to be very shy!! no one wouldhave thought so!

millsymuttleylaugh wrote: »

Hi, I'm aware this might sound abit desperate but here goes...

I've been having abit of trouble in the friend department lately, I only really have one friend and I don't get to see her very often, shes settled down with a boyfriend and bills to pay so can't afford to go out.

I want to meet new people, but also got a craving for a good night out, so basically I'm asking your opinion, will a night out on my own just going to the one club then coming home be sad? I've wandered round the club alone before when I lost my friend, and I've taxied home alone before as well.

I don't really do anything else that gives me chance to meet other people, and I'm more confident after a drink.