Clubbing Alone?

cpfcstar

millsymuttleylaugh wrote: »

I'm 20 and I'm from Doncaster.

I'm unemployed so don't have a job and don't go to college so basically I don't see anyone really. I had a group of friends last year but we drifted apart, they were a couple of years younger than me and soon as one rumour went round I guess I got chosen as the one to be evicted out the group and other than that I only have one friend, I don't see her as often as I'd like and when we do go out together her boyfriend is there.

I know clubbing isn't really ideal to meet friends with similar interests, but just talking to other people - sense or no sense, would just make me feel more socialised. I do enjoy clubbing and I found in the past that friends I went with we'd sort of drift off on our own and meet up again later.

I don't want to sound a slag but I don't mind people on the pull as I like dancing with guys when I'm out anyway. I'm always sensible with my drinks and unless I've stayed at my friends house I've always caught a taxi home on my own and never had any problems there.

I really don't have anyone else to go out with but I really fancy a good night out, this friday is the last all inclusive night at my local club and the club is always full and its a really good night.

I know exactly how this feels. Before I went to uni I never went out.
I dropped a year below 6th form and everybody I had classes with was 17 and never went out, the one year everybody went to pubs/clubs the most I was usually just staying in. And again, whilst at uni my parents moved significantly far away and when I come home I do absolutely nothing as I know nobody!
All I can say is:
- Get talking to old mates on facebook/text/call people, suggest a school reunion and suggest a meet up,
-Alternatively grab a sibling/cousin (if you have one I find them great help in dragging to the pub and meeting people, even forcing your dad with you might help,
-Perhaps join a website like couch-surfers where people are encouraged to travel and make friends - most have local groups where they all meet for coffee/days out,
-Join a local drama group/choir/darts club/pool night, etc anything local that young people go to, if you're scared of going alone you can always say your mate dropped out-way of making conversation too!
-If there's a local birthday party or big student night, anything hugely advertised - just go, chances are there will be so many people nobody will notice you're alone.

If you do go out alone, you could perhaps try to meet people by saying that you've 'lost' the people you were with and strike up a conversation, I have thought about this however in nightclubs generally I have found the people willing to have a deep and meaningful conversation are the most inebriated ones that will never remember you! The excellent alternative is to try to get a bar in a night club/bar, fire CV's (make up experience) and fire them everywhere, you're bound to meet people by talking to bar staff.

I honestly know what this is like, not fun, and honestly if you're ever in the North East you can have a nightout with me in Sunderland! Oh and I see plenty of people go out by themselves and latch on to randomers.

stclair

I used to go clubbing on my own when i was in my mid twentys.

I felt okay about used to feel abit weird at first thinking people would think I was billy no mates.

I used to just dance my little heart out, not to blow my own trumpet but Im a really good dancer and used to get loads of attention from it so used to have a few friends by the time I left ;-)

hayleygreen

Good Luck with the night out and remember to stay safe, I just wanted to add that there are many sites out there now built around people making friends where I think they meet up in groups - it maybe worth searching for these! Like meeting anyone in a club you also have to remember to be safe online as well - Meeting people in busy public areas and not putting yourself at any risk! Take care & good luck

Pee

Think going clubbing on your own is fine, if you feel comfortable with it. I never would have done, but then some of the best nights I have have been when I've met up with random strangers or been left on my own / lost due to circumstances. I am also odd as I would rather go to a pub on my own, I'm a girl, than eat in a restaurant on my own.

I don't think it's that unusual that you want to go clubbing and don't have friends up for it. I know you said you've always had quite a small circle of friends but quite often even a large circle can all be dating seriously or settling down at the same time - and not want to go clubbing. I used to like clubbing, when I was single.

I do think that meeting someone compatable at a club is probably easier than meeting someone compatable through internet dating although there is the safety concern. I always drank within my limits and considered the safety aspect minimal. That was before date rape drugs really started being used or talked about.

If you would like to make female friends to expand your social life, I agree with the advice re getting a job. Anywhere lots of women work could be good in the longer term.

At the risk of sounding old and patronising, I have found it a lot easier to get on with people as I have got older - I'm now mid 30's - and working with people is one of the easiest ways - other than at Uni - to make friends.

laughingcow81

Pee wrote: »

Think going clubbing on your own is fine, if you feel comfortable with it. I never would have done, but then some of the best nights I have have been when I've met up with random strangers or been left on my own / lost due to circumstances. I am also odd as I would rather go to a pub on my own, I'm a girl, than eat in a restaurant on my own.

I would agree with this - as long as you stay safe when out and let someone know where you are and where you are going, then you should be ok.

I also would much prefer going to a pub on my own than sitting in a restaurant on my own, pubs are much more social places. I have done it on numerous occasions, mainly to watch football I might add (I am a girl too).

ankspon

Do you want company

keys_2

I wouldnt really choose to a club , where you may feel more lonely once you are there { as dont forget you knew your friend was their with you last time somewhere even if you did leave them } .
But how about having a glass of wine { or other drink } in the house , then have a walk down to your local pub , maybe once or twice a week . Sit at the bar and after a few visits people will start to let on to you , also if you pick a quieter time you will probably be able to chat to the bar staff if it is a local pub .
Or even a local bar that has acts on , that way you could watch something that is of intrest to you and others in their

I do think joining a college course or group is the best way to meet friends , just make sure you are safe

ETA : What about setting up a school reunion on Facebook if people stil llive local to you ?

The_Fat_el_Hombre

Come on let's face facts going clubbing on your own is really sad.

If you think you've made a friend whilst out clubbing the chances are he/she and their mates will be thinking that you're a weirdo and want you to stop tagging along with them

I'd get a job for starters, you're guranteed to make some friends there. What about any hobbies you have? Old school friends surely?

OnTheUp_2-2

Chlamydia wrote: »

Come on let's face facts going clubbing on your own is really sad.

If you think you've made a friend whilst out clubbing the chances are he/she and their mates will be thinking that you're a weirdo and want you to stop tagging along with them

I'd get a job for starters, you're guranteed to make some friends there. What about any hobbies you have? Old school friends surely?

I just had to ask... why of all the names you could call yourself have you chosen chlamydia?????

:eek:

joho

I definitely think your local pub would be a better choice than a club. For a start you will meet people who, presumably, live in the same area and you'll therefore be more likely to see them again, if only in the pub. Try going on a quiz night and ask to join in with a group you like the look of - as long as you don't give them too many WRONG answers I'm sure they'll not mind you joining them.

And I bet if you were to get in touch with 1 or 2 of the group you were 'evicted' from last year, you would find they've been evicted too! And you could get back together and start a new group!