after after 7 years someone tells me that i have a child with her

DUTR

netiela wrote: »

thanks for the advice
Hope you dont mind if ask you ,,how is it going now,,,is your life efected.from this??..and can you manage to agree with each others about this child???
are you in contact with the child???? and do you just pay the 15% from your income and thats it,,,???
But anyway this could be different for everyone,,,but the b..ch that im involved with is really hard to get through,,,but hope for the best.

It's going good for me , I no longer have contact (hence why the csa invite arrived) the mum was a friday night thing but after deciding to go back with my then current GF a call arrived a couple of months later to say the docs had told her she was expecting
But as we all know that is not a reason to have a relationship with someone, you soon get used to paying the csa and the money I was spending when visiting was more than twice what I have to give the csa :eek:, so in my case it was a win win

netiela

DUTR wrote: »

It's going good for me , I no longer have contact (hence why the csa invite arrived) the mum was a friday night thing but after deciding to go back with my then current GF a call arrived a couple of months later to say the docs had told her she was expecting
But as we all know that is not a reason to have a relationship with someone, you soon get used to paying the csa and the money I was spending when visiting was more than twice what I have to give the csa :eek:, so in my case it was a win win

Thanks man
I really needet someones advice that experinced the same thing.
You've being really helpful.
You just cant have a relationship with someone that you never wanted, and especialy when the mum was a quick one.
Anyway thank you again and hope my story will work like yours, what can we do ,,everyone does mistakes in life,,and this is mine:eek:

Loopy_Girl

Just a couple of things I noticed...

You will actually pay 15% of 85% of your bottom line as there is a 15% disregard for your son that you have living with you (can't see that anyone has mentioned that)

The 'legal rights' she is going on about sounds like Parental Rights and Responsibilities which you will not have for 2 reasons - you aren't on the birth cert and the child is 8 which means she was born before the legislation was passed that both parents had automatic PPR whether they were married or not.

She's basically wanting to make sure you have no legal rights over the child. You've not. If you wanted PPR then you would have to apply for it.

I echo everyone else and say get a DNA - who the hell forks out money and gifts to a child that you are not even sure of paternity?!:eek: If she could lie about having an abortion then she could lie about who the Daddy is.

Legally you have no responsibility to have this child in your life (if proven to be so) although you will have a financial responsibility. Morally is a different matter and only you and you alone can choose whether to provide this child emotional and nurturing support.

netiela

thanks i was hoping that someone mention something about my son aswell, so thank you.
The little girl is 7 not 8?????
Im not asking about legal rights cos i dont want them at all.
Yah i was stupit trusting her, cos i was thinking no one would involve her own child, to lie about these kind of things,,,and i was thinking i was doing something good( which is not).
Im just praying that she hopefully lied about who the daddy is aswell ( i wish that ), but i dont know if i could be that lucky!!!!!!??????
Financialy,,yeah it will cost me, but cant do nothing can i........cant go back in time ( omg hope she is not mine)
If she is not mine it could be the hapiest day of my life,,,,? but im guna see that, doing the DNA
But still she could be mine ,,but i dont feall nothing for her, at least not at the moment.
thank you very much

Honest_broker07

What No-one else has mentioned is that if she starts a CSA case you will start to build up arrears, you will be expected to paythese back on top of the 15%.

You need to use a CSA "certified" company for the DNA test otherwise they won't accept it.

Kimitatsu

It was mentioned in post #3 that his liability began when the CSA claim was opened