Money Moral Dilemma: Should Janet pay John’s tip?

minicooper272

Usually, if the person i'm with insists on paying, I suggest that they pay for the food and I will cover drinks and tip. For most of the places I would go it works out at about £20-30 for food and about £10-15 for me to pay. It's difficult, you need to suggest this before they even put their money/card down on the table.

She can always offer to leave a tip but as it's a first date, it's possibly best to let it go and if he does it again next time, then raise the issue or offer.

pennypinchUK

If they've not left the table, Janet can simply say "At least let me pay the tip". He might just have forgotten. Or he might be doing what I often do - I'll drop the tip on the table at the same time as I'm getting up to go - I don't like to make a fuss about tipping.

If they've left the table and are walking out of the door, Janet should leave it. But she'll doubtless be wary of any future examples where John is "cautious" with money.

PoorPennilessMe

It's VERY interesting to read the comments... Particularly how many people (I'm guessing women) are saying that they would be 'wary' of John for being tight, or that she should dump him for it... Very, very telling!

Isn't anyone going to stand up for the guy being careful with money here?

awehla

mrbrightside842 wrote: »

But then, doesn't everyone deserve extra's? Why just bankers and waitresses? Why should someone work on a till for minimum wage and get nothing extra, and then have to pay someone else's tips if they decide to treat themself to a night out, when that person is being paid the same amount as they do on their till. I agree that the bankers bonuses are ridiculous, but if everyone deserves a bonus in their job, then it just results in everyone having to pay more and cancels it out.

When I was a student I didn't tip because I couldn't afford it, plain and simple. Now I can afford it I usually leave a tip in proper restaurants as long as the service charge isn't included. I don't tip hairdressers because £28 is more than enough to pay for a cut and blow dry (one of the cheaper ones in my area would you believe) and I don't tip taxi drivers because they very rarely go above and beyond the call of duty. I only leave tips in restaurants for staff who've done a good job.

awehla

PoorPennilessMe wrote: »

It's VERY interesting to read the comments... Particularly how many people (I'm guessing women) are saying that they would be 'wary' of John for being tight, or that she should dump him for it... Very, very telling!

Isn't anyone going to stand up for the guy being careful with money here?

To be honest I probably wouldn't notice if he left a tip or not (if he paid by card he could have added it on doing that) and I certainly wouldn't dump someone after a first date for not leaving a tip. Tipping isn't mandatory.

minicooper272

Actually, you make a valid point, I used to be a waitress when at school and because I was under 18/21 I wasn't covered by minimum wage laws so only earned £4 per hour. Tips made a huge difference!

These days, my flatmate is a waitress. The hours are crazy but she earns way over minimum wage (atleast £1 more) AND she will often come home telling us of the £20 tip that 1 table decided to leave (typically she can get £45 in tips for 3 hours work at festive period (once she got this and only worked 2 tables)).

From my experience of waitressing, I don't feel right about not tipping but from what I see of my flatmate, it makes me wonder why I need to. In her work, tips aren't even split with the kitchen staff and I think that is important because the quality of the food plays a strong part in the whole experience.

Though my one correction for what you say is that I think the government has started stating that tips must be declared and taxed fairly (and it's about time!)

fleagle21

mrbrightside842 wrote: »

What's actually considered 'extra' from a restaurant? I don't think I've ever recieved anything above and beyond with a waitor/waitress to actually warrent the tip, but I do give it. They take the order, bring the food, check back, and refil drinks when necessary. This, I consider to be expected

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't believe that tips should ALWAYS be given - if the service is !!!!, I wouldn't tip them either - whether it's seen as the 'done' thing to do or not. In a restaurant where tips are kept individually, you'll soon find you'll want to pull your finger out when you see what can be earnt. I was once told that it used to be seen as very demeaning to serve someone their food (the maids etc were the lowest paid, and kept in !!!!py conditions in households years ago) so maybe the whole tipping tradition stems from that? Who knows!

If anyone really objects to tipping - then don't! I never expected to be tipped when I was waitressing - but it was a nice feeling when someone did

MissLead

scoobydoobydoo wrote: »

Yes and then refuse his offer of a second date for being cheap!

I am a waitress so I may be biased but before I did this job I always tipped for the service if it meritted it. The food may have been awful but if the server was obviously working hard and going out of their way to do everything they could then they would get a tip and the chef would get a complaint!


*I am a waitress so I may be biased* Who am I kidding?! I AM biased :-D

Are you seriously suggesting that customers still leave a tip if the food is awful????

davieh

If I ate at any meal where I thought a tip should have been left and wasn't, I'd raise it with my fellow diner(s). If its a mistake, then it gives chance to resolve it. If they disagree, then I'd want to understand what aspect of the service was not good. If the service was actually poor and I hadn't noticed, I wouldn't have wanted to leave a tip. When staff ask "is everything ok?" and it's not, I say no if there is something specific. Expressing displeasure by withholding a tip doesn't address the issue.

But from the side of the diner...I dine out regularly in different countries with groups of many nationalities, and I find sometimes that when a bill is divided among a group of say 6 or more, the money that comes to the table is very often either not enough, or does not include much in terms of a tip. This almost never happens in some countries such as Germany, America and Ireland but happens very, very frequently in the UK. I dine with all spectrums of people socially and through work, so I don't believe its just down to people that I know personally. I think its a UK thing, and I think the general poor average standard of service here compared to other countries goes hand in hand with poor tipping (by poor average standard, I mean that in my experience for every say 10 meals I have here in all types of restaurant, well over half regularly have disinterested serving staff).

It is interesting that this topic comes up on a moneysaving forum, as there appears to support on both sides of the argument. I wonder if some people in this debate are not tipping because of the standard of service, or because they have saving money in mind or a grudge that just because their job isn't service orientated, that others shouldn't be assessed on service through tipping?

Myrtle77

This could only ever be a hypothetical situation. Men just don't pay for dinner anymore!!