Help needed re elderly parent (Scotland)

Jockthearab

Thanks for the well wishes!! :-*

Re the pension situation, I've held off for as long as poss re direct payments into his account. He can hardly remember his D.O.B so trying to get him to remember a pin to get his money...doesn't bear thinking about! I do need to find out what happens when he goes into the home as, I understand, all he'll get is approx £24 per fortnight...sweety money really,he'll have all he needs in there.

My Sister does have a Yale key, but when he moves out, I will ensure that the mortice is locked so she can't get in :P . Now how do I start the letter to her? 'Dear Sister?' Nah. "Dear Uninterested Lying Thieving B#@ch"? Sounds more apt!

Incidentally may have a buyer lined up for the house!(Fingers crossed, don't count my chickens etc...) The neighbour across the road passed on her best wishes etc tonight & slipped in to the conversation that her step son would be very interested in buying the house (easy access to a baby sitter lol) and already has a mortgage offer from a bank, he just needs to find the right property. I'd already booked an appointment with my independent F.A tomorrow (after I take Dad up for his 1/2 day assessment at the home) to discuss my options, but this may just be the answer to my prayers i.e quick deal, no need to remortgage, re decorate and would also negate the need for an Estate Agent! I told her that I would give him 1st refusal as I don't think they would try to rip me off & I know what houses in that area have sold for over the last year (thanks to links on this site ). So fingers crossed guys, hopefully my luck has turned!

JtA

mink35

Hi JtA

Glad things seem to be getting sorted at last. Just as a point of interest, can't you get a power of attorney so you are able to deal direct with your dad's affairs? Your dad's doctor should be able to help with this but check with solicitor first. (Not sure if it's different in Scotland?)

Mink

Jockthearab

Hi mink35!

I'll ask the 'Power of attorney' question tomorrow, but I have a funny feeling that until the house is sold i.e I no longer have a vested or, should I say, shared interest in my Dad's finances, that it would be a dodgy path to go down. It would be of major help however, as any time I have to phone on his behalf e.g Scotish Gas, I have to get him on the phone to verify that it's ok for me to speak on his behalf! I'm wondering how that's going to work when I have to inform them that he's moved out?

JtA

(BTW 'mink' in Bonnie Dundee is not a term of endearment lol, it refers to someone who may need a bath & some new clothes :runs: ;D not that I'm suggesting you do!!!!!!)

no offence intended, just made me giggle!!!

christmas_donkey

 I'm wondering how that's going to work when I have to inform them that he's moved out?

JtA

Its a whole new ball game if you have power of attorney. Once they see a copy of the power of attorney they will deal with you directly.

I have power of attorney of my mothers affairs. If you need any advice, give me a pm.

mink35

(BTW 'mink' in Bonnie Dundee is not a term of endearment lol, it refers to someone who may need a bath & some new clothes :runs:   ;D  not that I'm suggesting you do!!!!!!)

no offence intended, just made me giggle!!!

Maybe I'll keep adding the 35 then just to elaborate a bit! It's actually the first part of my maiden surname. Suppose I could put the first part of my married surname but then some Australia chap/chapess will tell me it's a toilet, lol. ;D

PS no offence taken - takes a lot to offend me!

Edinburghlass_2

Jock, I got a power of attorney when my Aunt went into hospital full time and I would suggest you do this sooner rather than later if your Dad's memory is failing.

I had to take the lawyer to visit her in hospital and he spoke to my Aunt to make sure she understood what it all meant. He then went and spoke to the sister of the ward so she could confirm that my Aunt was of "sound mind" and wasn't being coerced into something she didn't want.

Make sure you get a few certified copies of the power of attorney so you can provide the bank, post office for pension etc with one if needed.

As there were other uninterested members of the family, who may well have taken an interest had they known there was money involved, I then went and opened a new bank account where I put all pension etc and paid the bills from this account. Although I left in place the direct debits in her own account that I had control of making sure there was sufficient money to cover these.

As my Aunt was in hospital full time her pension was cut considerably and as you say she was left with a "pocket money" type amount. The hospital ran little account books for all the patients and I deposited money with them every so often to cover items likes papers, haircuts etc.

Also make sure once he leaves the house that you let the council know regarding rates and also the insurance company as this will rise with the house being empty. Make sure you take anything of value out of the house as soon as possible just incase.

Hey it all sounds a bit daunting but once you get going with it you will have it sorted it no time!

Jockthearab

:phewatminknotbeingoffended: ;D

Right guys I've been working on this as the letter to my sister...thoughts?

"Her address etc,

cc:my solicitor, (to put the wind up her)

*Insert Date*
Recorded Delivery


Dear ******,

Due to my Dad's deteriorating condition over the last two years and despite help & support from the Social Work Department, Homecare Unit, his neighbours and myself, it is now no longer in his best interests to live on his own.

We've therefore managed to secure him a place in ******* home, a residential nursing home, as of *today*.

As I am forced to sell the house to fund his care (white lie!) , it is only fair that you pop his keys through the letterbox with a note explaining how and when you intend paying all monies that you owe him.

Yours sincerely,

JtA "

Do you think that'll do?

Edinburghlass_2

Sounds good to me and I like your thinking of leaving it until the day he moves to post it.

Good luck!

ccluedo

Hi Jock,
I just came across this thread.  My intention here is not to depress u further, but to let u know what may lie ahead.

I think u will find that u need an Intervention Order or Guardianship Order to sell the house, as it is 50/50 owned with ur Dad IF he is declared mentally unfit to handle his own affairs(ie if he doesn't realise what he is signing, then it's too late for a POA )  I was in the exact same situation 18 months ago with my mum who has advanced Alzheimers.

I offer the following info just in case u are too late for a POA. If u obtain POA, then then not all of the following may apply:

I went to court for the easier option of an Intervention Order, as I did not want the hassle of keeping and submitting accounts etc for evermore to The OPG (Office of the Public Guardian).  I was quoted in excess of £500 by a firm of solicitors, but managed to do all the research and paperwork myself.  Went to the Sheriff Court with some trepidation,but order was granted and we were in and out in 20 mins max.  Pls be aware that whether u do it yourself or via a solicitor,  it is NOT a fast process...I would suggest u allow minimally 3months.  You then have to get the OPG's APPROVAL of the selling price u plan to accept (ur fair value comment), and they will expect to see the top three (if u get 3 of course) of any offers on the house.  You cannot accept an offer even verbally, til u have their written approval!

I moved my mum in with me, (not suitable for everyone I know, but no way do we want her in a home, and fortunately thus far we can manage both her accommodation and care).  I then sold my mum part of my house pro rata, (much less than 50%) which used up her share of her own home proceeds, and keeps her cash savings at a level which does not affect anything, and her capital not just quite so easy to jump on by any authorities @ a future date.  Any potential implications affecting this I think I am pretty much aware of and will deal with if and when the time comes.

I hope u do get the POA Jock as that will make life so much easier for u in many ways, but I fear u will still require to go thru the approval procedure re selling.

I am also in Scotland, so am au fait with the procedures as they stood 18 months ago, and still have all my paperwork therefore if I can help u in any way pls feel free to ask. (pm me)

Finally, I hope ur Dad is keeping well.  Pls make sure u get those multivitamin drink supplements for him on prescription, as it's how my mum gets most of her good nutrition now.  I hope he will be amenable to the move...again, if not...another set of legalities await

Regards

jockettuk

My Sister does have a Yale key, but when he moves out, I will ensure that the mortice is locked so she can't get in :P  .  

why dont you buy a cheap new yale lock and put it on and the only way she will know you have done this is by tryin to get into the house.. if she comments on the fact she cant get in you can always ask her why she wants to get in now and not the all the other times your dad needed help