Further financial faux pas and even more disasterous decisions

moo2moo

Whoo hooo nearly bedtime. Just waiting for the oiks to stop stampeeding up and down the staircase with random irrelevant demands. I'm obviously not parent material. Rather than calmly returning them from whence they came I want to screach at them with as many expletives as its possible to get in a single breath in the hopes that they realise just how annoying they can be, not to mention how grumpy they'll be all day tomorrow. Thinking calm happy tranquil child friendly thoughts.

Plans for tomorrow all involve laundry. The house looks like its auditioning for the part of Widow Twankees home in Aladin the panto. The waiting to be dealt with clean pile is now higher than the lightswitch and is liable to topple at any moment at which point the puppy will grab and run pausing only to roll in chicken poo on her mad circuit of the garden. Of course the law of averages predicts that once in a while this won't be a white shirt but so far the law of averages would be very very wrong.

Having had three days to myself (with the minor inconvenience of work and remembering to feed the oiks) its fair to say progress has been made. Its also fair to note that this won't stop me running round like a loony tomorrow doing all sorts of random things in the hopes that it looks like I've done some cleaning in OHs absence. Its not that I haven't (although I haven't) its just decluttering is soo much easier when theres no one under foot.

As a wise person once said "Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it."


A much wiser person (aka Joan River) was heard to say "Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot !!!!!." "

and whilst I have no idea whatsoever who Erma Bombeck is this is priceless :

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck

Tesco_points_addict

Mooooooooooooo, I love you! I don't have time for books anymore, you are far more entertaining.

TPAx

moo2moo

Surely that was a typo? A life without books is unthinkable. Thats like life without chocolate or clean underwear. Books are most definately one of lifes essentials. In fact I'd almost go so far as to say I'd happliy ditch the tv licence and all telly viewing but I suspect I would be lynched by the other occupants of the household.

Planning on escaping from the workhouse by 9:15 in order to get everything done. May even resort to using the tumble drier in the hopes of reducing the laundry pile as rapidly as possible. Stuff just ain't drying on the line and the airers are only any use when the fire is lit but since we've only been in the house for 2 hours before bed each night its a bit pointless lighting them because we're asleep long before the house is warm. Must remeber to clean them out today though as the resident pyromaniac will be fuming if I don't. Poor boy has man flu.

Meanwhile I have aching stomach muscles and bum cheeks. Will be taking puppy for a gentle stroll today. Don't think my body can handle 5 miles in an hour. Much faster and I'd be breaking into a jog and risking sweat which simply won't do although it would give me chance to practice my heavy breathing technique should I ever decide to become an adult chat line host.

moo2moo

and so my morning started with a blocked sink. Not just any old blocked sink but one that had been welded shut with several bucket loads of left over papier mache slop which apparently showed signs of resistance yesterday and so was helped on its way with the aid of a trusty sink plunger before allowing to set overnight. Ended up dismantling the U-bend and two cupboards to get at several metres of pipe in order to unblock the lot. Teacher in question was rather apologetic. You do sometimes wonder if they're safe teaching the next generation.

Eventually left work at 9:30 having drilled a few therapeutic holes in walls. Have Frontiered until my fictional family ran out of energy. Am now finishing the dregs of my cuppa before commencing the assault on the house. I've a feeling thats going to take most of the day.

moo2moo

I have done all the ironing. Incidentally I have done sod all else all day and have 75 minutes before I need to depart for work in order to work miracles. Quite why I'm sitting at my bum surfing is a mystery even to me. Actually its just a darn good excuse to stop for five minutes, grab a cuppa and sort out my battle paln. Unfortunately Plan A involves a call to the none existant Molly Maid Emergency help Line so plan B needs to involve doing lots of quick stuff in super quick time so as to generate the appearance of having done tons over the past couple of days. Who am I trying to kid?

moo2moo

As predicted OH arrived home and was oblivous to all the things I'd done, instead choosing to point out that I'd failed to change two lightbulbs. Excuses like they're 12 feet up in the air and there was no one around to hold the ladder are seen as evasive manouveurs rather than genuine excuses. Argued about that and just about everything else. Quite why I was looking forward to him coming home remains a mystery, even to me. Equally surprising is the expectation that at 5am I would want to suck on the lollypop. Men really are a complete mystery.

My head is now all over the shop. Again. Hes full of cold, his chest is making the most horriffic squeaking noises and yet hes out in the cold smoking away, well ok attempting to smoke between coughs and splutters, but attempting it any way. Meh.

Plans for today involve a trip to Mr. Ts to cram the fridge full of stuff just for a bit of peace. Apparently a fridge with shelf space is a sign I don't care about anybody. Twonk. Bet hes highly apologetic when he gets home and works out just how big an !!!!!! hes been. Positivity has flown out the window today. Am in the frame of mind where I want to take the pooches to a windswept beach with a huge quantity of choclate and bacon crisps and just be. Pants, pants and pants again.

Hopefully I'll feel happier when I wake up properly for now I'm fuming that someone can be such a !!!!!! although I really should be used to it shouldn't I. *Slaps self around with a wet fish*

In brighter news I have a friend coming to stay for the weekend who I haven't seen in almost a year. Am v. excited about this! Need to shuffle the DDs around so that she can be accomodated in DD2s room for the duration. Tis also another reason for going food shopping.

moo2moo

Me thinks I've broken the swear filter again.

beanielou

Have a fab weekend with your friend
Ignore the rest!

honeybear_2

moo2moo wrote: »

A much wiser person (aka Joan River) was heard to say "Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot !!!!!." "

That is genius! :rotfl:

In response to other stuff, is the behaviour of your OH & his 'amorous advances' his way of trying to make friends again after arguments? Just a looking on the bright side, hopeful theory...

Enjoy your weekend with friend

Tesco_points_addict

Moo, you know what you have to do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx