Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

LydiaJ

Saw my builder today - bumped into him after church. He's been to see the house and reckons I don't need to spend as much money on it as I originally thought.

He thinks the existing radiators and pipework will be just fine with a new boiler and some extra radiators for the rooms that haven't got them. He also thinks it will be fine to move the fusebox (and update it with trip switches instead of actual fuses) without rewiring the entire house. That in turn means we won't have to redecorate most of downstairs. So it'll just be the insulation and extra radiators and new boiler and new fuse box then.

Last night I had supper with some friends and was telling the wife what I was planning to do to the house while the husband was in the kitchen cooking. He overheard and came dashing through to give crucial advice about how it should be done. I said I wasn't going to do it, so he started giving instructions of what to tell the builder to do. I said "Well, it's all going to be done by Dave <surname>." He immediately relaxed and told me I had nothing to worry about and that Dave would do it all properly.

The husband of this couple has been helping out in DS's group at church on Sunday mornings, and has done a terrific job of very gradually getting him to join in with stuff again after a long time of wanting to sit by himself and just watch. (That started after the accident, obviously.) Anyway, it now turns out that Dave the builder has also been helping with that group, and DS has been getting on really well with him, so that's another positive.

The chain is hoping to complete in the first week of January. I am excited, but dreading dealing with all the boxes of late-nearly-ex's stuff, and the boxes of my own clutter as well.

treliac

LydiaJ wrote: »

The chain is hoping to complete in the first week of January. I am excited, but dreading dealing with all the boxes of late-nearly-ex's stuff, and the boxes of my own clutter as well.

Yes Lydia, I'm sure that will be awful. It's bad enough having to pack your own stuff as it is, without the additional trauma from your particular circumstances.

However, the way everything is going, it seems this move is meant to be! I wish you well, look forward to following it through online and congratulations again. It'll be a fantastic New Year's present for you all.

lostinrates

Lydia, Thats all fantastic. I'm especially pleased for your son. Having a move and the intrusion of people in the house can be difficult at any age, but to have that erson being a familiar and trusted grown up may well be great in more than one way.

I want a Dave. I've been charged with getting local recommendations for people, and its particularly tricky as we don't know many people round here yet, and the ones we do don't know builders!

treliac

lostinrates wrote: »

I want a Dave. I've been charged with getting local recommendations for people, and its particularly tricky as we don't know many people round here yet, and the ones we do don't know builders!

It's a big problem, there are so many rogues around. However, from the Trading Standards website...

The Trading Standards Institute is working with the Local Authority Assured Trader Scheme Network (LAATSN) for local trading standards schemes and with TrustMark, the government-backed initiative that helps householders find reliable and trustworthy tradespeople to carry out repairs and improvements to their homes.

http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/advice/approved-traders.cfm

Perhaps you can get some good advice on local tradespeople this way lir.

lostinrates

treliac wrote: »

It's a big problem, there are so many rogues around. However, from the Trading Standards website...


http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/advice/approved-traders.cfm

Perhaps you can get some good advice on local tradespeople this way lir.

what a good idea...the problem with so many of the internet things is you know that someone is recommending themselves or a mate. sadly my area don't seem to be participating in that.

I have thought of just going up to well maintained looking period houses and knocking on the door ...

''Hi, I'm a sort of neighbour...I live a few miles away, and I like your house...ho is your builder?'' Is that odd?


Hilariously I was told today our house, which has no number/name sign up has been being referred to as ''Beware of the Dogs'' based on signs I put up when we moved. I wish they were calling it ''Callers by prior appointment only'' I guess I need a bigger sign for that.:D

LydiaJ

treliac wrote: »

Yes Lydia, I'm sure that will be awful. It's bad enough having to pack your own stuff as it is, without the additional trauma from your particular circumstances.

However, the way everything is going, it seems this move is meant to be! I wish you well, look forward to following it through online and congratulations again. It'll be a fantastic New Year's present for you all.

Thanks treliac.

Actually, I don't find dealing with his stuff traumatic for emotional reasons. What terrifies me is that there's so much stuff altogether - his and mine and the children's. A lot of it's in chaos - far too much random stuff chucked in far too many random boxes. And the children resist getting rid of anything. Anything at all.

I have been explaining to them that next week we'll be borrowing a friend's car for a few days while ours goes in to the garage to have a replacement engine fitted. DS (who has never shown the slightest interest in the car engine before) claims to be upset at the idea of the current engine being taken away. I mean I know bereaved children are hyper-sensitive to loss, but a car engine???? :eek: A week or two ago he discovered that I had taken a broken chair to the tip. I had warned him it was going and taken photographs of it (which seems to help him a bit) but he still cried for several minutes when he found out about it. He complained he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to it and pleaded to be taken to the tip to bid it farewell. I explained that the rules at the tip are that children aren't supposed to get out of cars, so I wouldn't take him, and he got over it eventually, but it's a bit of a nightmare.

TBH dealing with the clutter would be difficult for me anyway because I'm not good at that sort of thing, and I have very little spare time and find it terribly difficult to motivate myself to use what little spare time I do have to deal with the stuff. However, to have the children resisting even what efforts I do make is doing my head in.

misskool

Lydia, good luck with it all. Just a thought, maybe have a closure process with them so they can move on?

Bet you're feeling a whole gamut of emotions at the same time.

John_Pierpoint

I've always worked in commerce - number one requirement is that you should add to the profitability of the organisation. When the organisation loses money, you get sacked - nothing personal.
Nice and simple.

I've always found that there seems to be more back biting in the public sector, where the success of a colleague or a boss cannot be measured so simply, and it all becomes political and opinionated.

Most jobs worth having have a two stage procedure. First a tick the boxes exercise to make a short list and then a second stage to pick the winner from the short list.

Sometimes you don't even know who the potential employer is at the initial interview.
I remember one such interview in a very large room in a posh hotel. The interviewer sat me down at a small table with two or three chairs round it. He asked if I was comfortable? ["Yes" - thinks here we go for the box ticking]
The interviewer then went and sat in a comfortable chair what felt like 50 yards away and proceeded with the interview.
Not sure what was the purpose - perhaps something to do with public speaking? Harder to lie when you almost have to shout?
(I got through to the short list but did not get the job).

The most annoying initial interview involved some sort of intelligence/psychological set of questions.
You were given a little scenario and then two answers and had to choose one, at high speed, with no time for thought.
Some of the questions were along the lines of "How many times a week do you beat your wife". I got a bit stroppy at this stage refusing to make a decision as both "answers" were incorrect.
I did not get asked back.
Perhaps that was the point - the organisation needed hard working little "yes" men - the sort that can apply the fatal electric shock??

lemonjelly

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

There is an "industry" in guided Jack the Ripper walks, its a bit ghoulish, but interesting. The story of someone who left bits of his victim's insides round the room is not everyone's cup of tea.
[Leeds & Ipswich anyone?]
If you are in that area of East London I would recommend this place especially just before Xmas ("City Drunks must be under the control of an intelligent 12 year old")
http://www.dennissevershouse.co.uk/

Yeah, when I visited London I went on Donald Rumbelow's Ripper walk. I doing some mini research, it appears there is something of a little bit of competition going on between the various companies!

lemonjelly

tomterm8 wrote: »

The general one such as "Why do you want to work here?" or "What are your best strengths".

I had to buy a book to work these type of questions out, because my natural tendancy is to tell the truth, which is normally "I don't want to work here, but I need the money" .

I agree so much with this (except the buying the book bit...)
I remember once being at a job interview, & between the test & interview my nerves were really plaing up. I almost bolted out the door. In fact, as I stood to run, the person arrived to take me to the interview room. _pale_

In the interview, they asked if I was happy with the pay & terms & conditions. I honestly had to say I couldn't remember the pay scale, as it had been a while since I had applied, so they told me. I sat there and said "Ooooh. That's alright isn't it?":o

I got the job!:rotfl:

vivatifosi wrote: »

The one I hate is "if you get the job, where would you see yourself in 3 years time"? I find it hard to get the right balance between being suitably ambitious and not sounding like I'm after their job (or wanting to leave;)).

God yes. How do you answer that one without being either contrived? Or sarcastic? (I'm always tempted to give an answer stating it depends on the training & support I will get from them as an employer).

lostinrates wrote: »

I hate the '' which three people alive or dead would you like to invite to supper''. what a stupid question that demands a lie: who is my great, great uncle to them?? dh hates the ''what's your biggest weakness'' question.

Only 3? Erm...Derren Brown, Mark Kermode, & Jack the Ripper (just so I can find out who he really is!) But there are certain other guests I would like, & 1 to stay much later than dinner...;)

I remember being asked who I would dress up as for a fancy dress party! This was for a job with Customs & Excise!