Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

SingleSue

Well done to your daugher Treliac!

Eldest still has two GCSE's to go, physics tomorrow morning and DT on Tuesday and compared to what he was like last week, is pretty chilled out. He is looking forward to starting a little project with his physics teacher after the exams proving a theory he has (a new invention sort of thing), don't ask me what it is, I just look interested and knowledgeable when he is telling me about it but it goes right over my head.

Ex mum in law was round last night and was berating eldest for not being out there getting a job and that everyone will get the jobs before him. When eldest explained that he was looking and applying (and has in fact now got 2 part time jobs), she said he needed to look for full time work...eldest asked her if she realised he was only looking for part time, she said why only part time and he had to explain what 6th form and A levels were...think she was still a little confused though and not understanding of the concept of staying on at school after 16 whilst not being at university (god knows what she thinks people do between 16 and 18).

Had a major problem with ex husband's fathers day things, ex mum in law expected presents to take up to him, boys were refusing to get even a card let alone a present. In the end, I bought something on their behalf but then middle son refused to sign the card and forbid anyone else to put his name....eldest sneaked his name on though when middle son wasn't looking and thought the card had been sealed.

It's a real shame the boys feel this way about their father but he only has himself to blame. I have tried to keep the channels open for them to talk, have offered him open access etc but he just can't be bothered. Middle son was the favourite and a real daddys boy, now he is the most vitriolic out of all of them, all because of ex's refusal to spend time with them, call them back when they ring or answer their msn conversations. They feel they come a poor last in the grand scheme of things with their father, he only ever comes down here to do something else (a party, wedding etc) and a visit to them is just tacked on/fitted in, between him having fun.

Both eldest and now middle are planning on changing their surname to my maiden name (I still use my married name), eldest was going to do it when he hit 16 but hasn't got round to it although he is writing his name with my surname on a fair few things now, middle son is adament he is going to do it on his 16th birthday. Strangely, youngest, who never had any kind of relationship with his father (ex was a non person as far as youngest was concerned - an autistic thing), is not planning on changing his name.

Up to see the vascular surgeon with my parents tomorrow...fingers crossed for us.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

FC123, dear one, I'm sorry about step-f-i-l.

The 32 y o mid life crisis is all the rage...our friends are dropping like flies (not the ones who took longer to orient themselves mainly, although one of them too...I told him in an email last week he was greedy and if he has a crisis now I won't stand for another one till way past retirement.)

Your all going home. It must have been an interesting three years, I've loved hearing about it.

I haven't met a 32 yr old having a crisis for a while.

He was out of shape (he said that) as he is on a highly paid treadmill but hates his life....part from the ££££. We talked about swapping one treadmill ( in central London in his 1625pcm pad) to another (commuting as 2 hours from here) so not having the time to enjoy here....and it is a high maintenace house.

He can go onto 4 days though....then he may look for something nu media down here (as there is highly paid stuff like that in Brighton).
I asked if he was gay...but he wasn't so he'll have no problems finding a girl down here as there is a shortage of hetero men.
He wants to develop some hobbies, have space and find lurve....getting his life back, he said.

He was very U S of A so loved all the quirky things like disintegrating coal bunkers, learning how to make a coal fire and so on.

We had a nice chat.:)

fc123

SingleSue wrote: »

Well done to your daugher Treliac!

Eldest still has two GCSE's to go, physics tomorrow morning and DT on Tuesday and compared to what he was like last week, is pretty chilled out. He is looking forward to starting a little project with his physics teacher after the exams proving a theory he has (a new invention sort of thing), don't ask me what it is, I just look interested and knowledgeable when he is telling me about it but it goes right over my head.


Up to see the vascular surgeon with my parents tomorrow...fingers crossed for us.

Mine has Physics tomo too.

Best wishes for Dad...how is he?

sss555s

fc123 wrote: »

Do you want to know what happened next?:)

Yes!!

Well done tre :beer:

SingleSue

fc123 wrote: »

Mine has Physics tomo too.

Best wishes for Dad...how is he?

He is not too bad, gets tired very easily and drags his leg a little (has developed a bit of an old mans shuffle) plus has some confusion when he has pushed it too much. Driving my mum absolutely batty as he will not do as he is told.

Today he decided he was going to prep some frozen steak for dinner, instead of putting it in the microwave on defrost, he put it on cook and for 40 minutes! He also got a phone call from the hospital cancelling his appointment for tomorrow, then came in the front room and said it was cancelling the appointment for tomorrow but then said the specialists name he is seeing on Monday and was completely confuzzled. So we had to ring the hospital back to make sure it was tomorrows appointment cancelled, by which time the hospital had managed to find a replacement surgeon to take the appointments and the appointment was back on.

Mum also has to cut up some of his food as he his hands are now too weak to cut the food.

All in all though, we have all been extremely lucky in that he has recovered so well from what we thought the outcome was going to be, it was a massive clot which caused an awful lot of damage and the prognosis initially was extremely poor, yet here he is, walking, talking etc with only a very few minor problems.

fc123

sss555s wrote: »

Yes!!

Well done tre :beer:

Ok then .

You know how plans and sums on paper work out perfectly? Well, some things didn't quite go to spec.

As I had shut London work in Feb, I took over 4 or 5 days at Brighton and drove....and it was about 22 hours a week M25 etc. Nightmare.

I knew from customers that getting DD into one of the decent state secondaries would be almost impossible plus the rentals near then were silly £££ so I thought I would be crafty and selected an OK one just outside in a hamlet.

We moved end August.

The 1st place we rented was a 70's 3 level house in Stepford Wife St. If I woke up in the night and went to the bathroom half asleep, I would think I had wandered into a B+Q showroom by mistake.
It was a 3 yr let as family went to work in Dubai. We found his DVD collection on top of the kitchen cupboards.
Couldn't get DD into the school...just a sink one 7 miles away so we chose to pay instead...which busted the budget.

The only nice thing about that house was the view to the downs with the sheep on....and we were stuck on a 12 mth AST....and still had to drive a lot. However, we were 'saving' masses on fuel and parking which covered the rent.

My next bright idea was to move to a Regency flat on the seafront. DD could walk to school, we walked along the beach to work and the bills would shrink a lot. It was the flat from hell and OH fell through damp rotten floorboards on moving in day. We had weevels, damp and noisy neighbours. I also had no studio space so shoved the machines at the back of the shop. I stopped making things for quite a while.....which lost a lot more ££££ than the downsize to a flat saved

In April 07 we moved to Derelict cottage on V Nice St, Posh Part. More rent but loads of space.

I had spent winter 06/07 reclaiming bank charges...and found MSE in July 07....which really opened my eyes. I had already got 0% on cards and we were just slogging it down but, we then went MSE/DFW hardcore lifestyle.

Meanwhile, we had pushed the T/O up by 20% since 05 and shop was buzzing, esp summer.


Then Credit Crunch hit for us, Sept 07 post Northern Rock. Immediate drop in T/O of 35%. Ouch.

We survived the winter by OH doing some agency carpentry but it was hard to balance the budget.....until summer kicked in. Summer 08 was OK but we weren't building a £££ surplus for the winter (essential) and we also had another rent review looming.

Got the assessment in Sept 08 and they wanted to double it again.


I researched changing the shop to interiors (I wrote about it a few pages back) when someone came to see me in July 08, who I knew from London old life, about doing a range for online e-tailer...which then saved our bacon.


There's more but I think it's going on a it now...

fc123

SingleSue wrote: »

He is not too bad, gets tired very easily and drags his leg a little (has developed a bit of an old mans shuffle) plus has some confusion when he has pushed it too much. Driving my mum absolutely batty as he will not do as he is told.

Today he decided he was going to prep some frozen steak for dinner, instead of putting it in the microwave on defrost, he put it on cook and for 40 minutes! He also got a phone call from the hospital cancelling his appointment for tomorrow, then came in the front room and said it was cancelling the appointment for tomorrow but then said the specialists name he is seeing on Monday and was completely confuzzled. So we had to ring the hospital back to make sure it was tomorrows appointment cancelled, by which time the hospital had managed to find a replacement surgeon to take the appointments and the appointment was back on.

Mum also has to cut up some of his food as he his hands are now too weak to cut the food.

All in all though, we have all been extremely lucky in that he has recovered so well from what we thought the outcome was going to be, it was a massive clot which caused an awful lot of damage and the prognosis initially was extremely poor, yet here he is, walking, talking etc with only a very few minor problems.

Sounds as good as it can be.....strokes are very tricky.....is the appointment about the op? I remember you writing about an operation but they then decided to wait a while.

Davesnave

Commiserations, FC, for everything, by the sound of it!

Hope your Dad continues to impress the medics, Sue, and that they can do something more for him. No doubt where you get that fighting spirit.....;)

Well done to your DD too, treliac. I don't remember you mentioning her much, so a big shout about the 1st is definitely in order! :j

There is no way I can keep up tonight, but on the subject of smallholdings, AW, I can vouch for the fact that having one is no way necessary, or worth it, if all you really want is a Land Rover Defender. One of my barn conversion neighbours has the LR, and his 'land' is about the size of our living room carpet!

Last month, I had the experience of driving a Defender, albeit an older model, complete with compulsory springer spaniel. OK it probably hadn't been serviced since 2003, or cleaned since it left the factory during the previous Tory administration, but to cut to the chase, I wasn't bowled over with it.

On the pig subject, yes, I could have them here and enjoy them, even give 'em a good area which they wouldn't spoil, but like lir, 'sending them away' would be too much, and as for eating them.....

Other people's are OK though!

Aspiring_Writer

fc123, just checked this before going to bed. Thats an 'interesting' few years you have had isnt it? I must say thanks to Ellie (fanks Ellie ) for asking because I have been meaning to but never did. So where are you moving to now then? wheres 'home'? if you dont wanna post that on here I understand. Thanks for the concise recap though.

John_Pierpoint

lostinrates wrote: »

igs are harder to keep ethically than people think. I would ind it very very hard to drive a pig to abattoir.

We have a land rover. Now my car has gone my back is always just a little strained and I'm guessing it was the car thats been hurting my knees

Do you use "a lumbar roll" ie something to make sure that the lower part of your spine remains concave rather than convex when sitting?
Google for examples.
Particularly needed when sitting in something that gently jolts the spine and thus stretches it in an incorrect position?
Same thing goes for a good supportive mattress.