When you post a Q on forums..

gabyjane

Like this or any other (as i use a few)..do you dwell over some of the answers..or are you quite think skinned? My questions i used to type and post without reading them through and now know i should!!

Over the years i have posted about various things on here and other sites..most of the time i get nice helpful replys..other times there is always some idiot who will get the ball rolling with the stupid crew and find it funny to post either utter rubsih or just be blatently rude.

I used to take it to heart and have learnt now to deal with it so much better..sounds daft getting annoyed/upset over a question on a pc but still i used to sit and dwell over what an awful person i was! (which i am with certain areas of my life but whos perfect)

Topics off the top of my head are:

My dd being the main one..she lives with grandparents..can't remember exactly what the q i posted was as was a long while ago but i got fully slated..i was called a terrible mother amongst other comments and it escalated quite a lot..the thread got removed as got so awful. I regret posting it now. Although i have done nothing wrong in regards to my dd you can never really 'get' someone online like my friends do. I dwelled on this for weeks and was so upset over it..dh would come home from work and i would have just sat re reading it crying thinking/knowing how awful i was/am..i got paranoid and started wondering if mums at school knew (most do know about dd) but i just got paranoid)

Our neighbour when we moved in and trouble with her kids..got called a child hater..how i was ruining them growing up etc. ( I work with kids so was quite funny!)

Neighbourhood watch..to keep my nose out, it was a terrible thing to join blah blah!

The current one on here..our cats! Been called a cat hater..i mistreat them..i hate them..i'm cruel!!

Another lol..my job..i clean part time..i'm a scrubber..hmm!!

So i could take it all really to heart tbh..my friend broke down the other day as someone said the simplest of things and she took it the wrong way..it has just been a big build up to her having had enough and although to me i knew nothing was meant, she didn't.

So am i a worthless cleaner who goes home and beats her cats..looking after kids when i should really be bringing my own up?!! Dear god.. heaven help me the replies to this!! But it is not me im asking about it is how you deal with replys you get?

Thanks!

carolpinkdreamer

I have been upset by some replies I had a long time ago. I felt as though my point of view was different to everyone elses and therefore wrong (maybe it is?). I did ponder and get irrate and felt a bit alienated and so I no longer post anything of any relevence....... Like this!

Try not to take things to heart, most of the people on here you would not choose as friends in real life so it shouldn't matter what they comment online.

brians_daughter

hi there, no i dont dwell on things usually. If i have given an answer and someone has took it to mean something else and i have upset the person i will respond on the message or pm them to say i hope i didnt offend. Thats just being polite tho really, the same as if i thought i had offended in 'the real world' i would ensure the person knew i didnt mean to do so.

TBH type can often be read differently to how it is meant as there is no expression/tone of voice to go with it. As well as this people are often in a rush so just get to the point - in real life we would usually take a minute to expalin what we mean in full

What you will also find is people that you usually speak with in 'real life' usually have things in common with you like work, or the place you live, or other mums and the like. On MSE we have all kinds of folks, some that we would usually never cross paths with so they/we may struggle to understand their/our opinions as they may be far removed from our/their own values!

BTW, i doubt you are a worthless cleaner who beats her cats! lol

Lotus-eater

Everyone who posts on here is an idiot, bar me.

Therefore I read all of the posts out of politeness, then ignore them.

Total self disillusion, served me well up to now.

brians_daughter

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Everyone who posts on here is an idiot, bar me.

Therefore I read all of the posts out of politeness, then ignore them.

Total self disillusion, served me well up to now.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

libbyc3

I have found most people, particularly on this board to be sympathetic, helpful and supportive.
I have however been (I felt) subjected to some really upsetting posts on a thread I started ages ago. They really got to me, and like you I ended in tears in front of the computer.
However, I rationalised it and realised my original post could have been read in a completely different way then I had intended it to sound and unsubscribed and didnt read any more.
I will admit to feeling a certain level of satifaction when the poster who really upset me, started a thread several months later as wanting advice about something upsetting going on in her life.
there is such a wealth of experience and goodwill in the main from these forums, I will and have continued to post as sometime it is good to get things off yor chest to strangers and get such a wide range of opinions just to begin to deal with things in 'real life'
I am definately grateful to everyone who took the trouble to help me recently

xmaslolly76

I think you have to take everything on here with a bit of a thick skin sometimes. i put a post on a while back about the cost of Baby milk and OMG did that start a full on battle between the BFeeders and FFeeders. It all got a little personal at one point between a couple of the ladies but i think they all made friends in the end. I personally ignore anything offensive you dont have to justify yourself to anyone and replying just fans the flames and i thank all the good advise i get. The majority of people on here are lovely and i dont know what i would have done without their advise during certain times :-)

jamespir

if you get upset by stuff on the internet you really shouldnt use it becasue theres far more offencsive stuff than silly comments ont here

thatgirlsam

if i ask a question then i want to hear the both postive and negative opinions..

only a wally would expect everyone to agree with them the whole time !

i have been called a bad mother on here before !

which didn't bother me as i am quite secure in the knowledge that i am not a bad mum

i would say if you expect everyone to agree with your POV then you will get upset when people don't .... and they won't on here .

*Louise*

I rarely start new threads asking questions tbh.

I try not to offend anyone when I reply to a post. I do get shocked at some replies from other people, some can be downright insulting but I guess if you ask the Q you're leaving yourself open to all ploints of view, even the harsh ones.

In a way, that can be helpful, in that it gives a different perspective on things, although I imagine it would be hurtful to read.

westcountrymaid_2

I remember my first ever post was on the Discount Codes and Vouchers board, I omitted to put something in the post and was abruptly 'told off' about it, at least that's how I read the reply. I felt hurt and kept thinking about it, then I felt angry and posted an abrupt message back. I then got a reply back saying that the message wasn't meant to offend. I had taken it completely wrong and as brians daughter says ''type can often be read differently to how it is meant as there is no expression/tone of voice to go with it.''