Looking for advice from fellow MSE users

katsu

Look at the international call options here (telephone tab on the main site). I've gained great savings from Rebtel as I need to make my calls from mobiles (I work long hours so need to call when I am away from home).

If she is home and they are home too, she can skype them for free, or as shaven monkey says use something like MSN chat.

BT do an international calls package that I think is probably fairly good. also there are services like jahjah (similar to rebtel).

Quidco are offering £7 cashback for signing up to Rebtel and Rebtel give you a free test call so you have nothing to lose by trying something like that.

Also - do you have as much left over each month for debt repayments as your SOA suggests? If not, start a spending diary. It will really help.

Lastly - can your wife get a job (I don't know what the other income is but the partner earnings line is blank).

Hope some of these comments help you - I really do recommend researching international call options - they've been great for me

Butti

shaven-monkey wrote: »

Management charge (leasehold property).. 120
Per month?
What exactly do they manage for £120 per month?

Hi,
As you're living in a shared ownership property I'm presuming the service charge is for all the extra's that the landlord (presumably a housing association?) has to pay for. The day to day service charge will take care of routine maintenance, like regular outside redecoration and minor repairs.

Part of the service charge will also be for a sinking fund. Each year an amount is added to the service charge and it put away for major repairs. When the time comes this money is used to pay for those repairs.

You can ask for a breakdown of the service charge and the sinking fund. If the property is not new ask how much is currently in the sinking fund.

B

prunesquallor

katsu wrote: »

Look at the international call options here (telephone tab on the main site). I've gained great savings from Rebtel as I need to make my calls from mobiles (I work long hours so need to call when I am away from home).

Yeah thanks, the international calls section of this site was one of the first places I went to. I've suggested rebtel too, but she hasn't tried it yet but you're right, it would allow her to call on the mobile at very low cost. Is the reception ok for you? For now, we're just using the low cost numbers I got from the international call checker tool.

katsu wrote: »

If she is home and they are home too, she can skype them for free, or as shaven monkey says use something like MSN chat.

Absolutely agree, she does use skype and msn but she often speaks/sends texts to her sister who isn't online much. But definitely the best option if you're at home. Thing is, my parents immigrated here years back and they had to make do with sending letters home. These days we're spoiled for choice yet the OH seems unwilling to make the effort to use the good deals i'm finding.

katsu wrote: »

Also - do you have as much left over each month for debt repayments as your SOA suggests? If not, start a spending diary. It will really help.

You're right about the spending, I always end up with less than that so I must be missing something somewhere. Spending diary would be a great solution. Hopefully I can take more control of the situation.

katsu wrote: »

Lastly - can your wife get a job (I don't know what the other income is but the partner earnings line is blank).

Here's the thing with the wife, she does have a job at around 800 pounds a month. The reason it's not up on the SOA is that she uses that either for herself or to send back to her family abroad. That's not ideal, but at least she's covering her own costs (apart from the main monthly food shop and her mobile that is).

Thanks everyone for all your comments... It's the only place I can really rant and moan about my debt without feeling guilty or ashamed.

prunesquallor

My wife works night shifts at a hotel - 4 nights on and 4 days off. Mine is a regular 9 to 5 so on the evenings she's not around, I've been staying at my parents' place. Which feels like a step backwards and also I'm technically sponging. Don't feel too clever about it I must say.

I also feel guilty about my mother taking out a loan on my behalf a few years ago in order to pay off a credit card. Only for me to take out another card a year later and not only cancel out the help, but add more debt to the pile. Funnily enough she'll have paid off the loan before I start repaying her for it... Not ideal.

Thankfully I'm now dealing with my debt but it'll still be a year before I can start repaying my mother for the loan she sorted. The reason she did it in the first place was because she could get a much better rate of 6.9% than my card's rate which would have been close to 3 times that figure. I regret letting her do it now though as selfless as it was on her part.

Needless to say, when I have finally paid back what was borrowed, I'll continue to make some sort of monthly payment so that for once I can help some one else out.

niccatw

Prunesquallor, are you entitled to employee counseeling through work? Or could you go to your GP and as for a referral? You could continue your counselling in the meantime, but it would then be free and save you £160 a month.

I knowit's important (I'm going myself) but if debt is also part of the issues (and it sounds as though they've been getting you down) then perhaps you need to find out if there are cheaper ways of getting the help you need? You could contact your local mental health team for info of any charities or groups that might help too?

niccatw

Oh,and try here for a spending diary: http://www.spendingdiary.com/

prunesquallor

Thanks for the spending diary link niccatw. Funnily enough I stumbled across it yesterday and registered so I'll hopefully be in even greater control from now on. Come to think of it, I think there is a phone number employees can use for counselling. It's not the same as face to face but it's something. Must dig up the details on that.

I actually had applied for counselling referral through my GP months ago but they're taking so long to get back to me I had to do it myself. The place I'm using is a not-for-profit organisation (LACAP) so the rate you pay is based on salary.

A lot of my issues are nothing to do with the debt and were present before I fell in to debt. I think the debt was just one of the results of said issues.

Thanks again for your comments

josephine82

Hi prunesquallor :wave:

It might be worth having another word with your GP- I think the NHS has targets for people who are referred for counselling to be seen in a certain time- mine was 13 weeks.

I had an assessment and then they offered me short term sessions (6-8 weeks) that I could start straight away or more longer term (i.e no specific no of sessions) if I waited another 13 weeks...... I had the 8 sessions and then found a private counsellor ianyway because I felt i needed more longer term support.

I pay £140 a month for my counselling and while I hated it while i was in debt (and now hate it even more now I'm trying to save) it has made the world of difference to my life so i would definitely stick with it. It sounds like a lot of money but if it helps then just make it part of your budget and at some point you won't have to pay for it and that money will be a bonus!

Ames

Sorry if I'm missing something, but if your wife is working is she paying half of the bills? If not why not?

If the above amounts are just your half then at least some are way over.

prunesquallor

Sorry if I'm missing something, but if your wife is working is she paying half of the bills? If not why not?

Hi Ames, Alas, no she isn't contributing towards any of the bills and all the amounts in the SOA are the full amount for us both. She did make what I would call a half hearted offer to help but I declined. She's on quite a low salary so I'd rather she had that money to spend on herself rather than resent me for the debt. She also sends some money to her family living in another country. The culture she comes from, they expect the man to take care of finances.
Saying that, a lot of the debt I have was spent on her. That was an oversight on my part and I should have had the control not to spend beyond my means. But that's now in the past and thankfully the debt weight is starting to lift.

It might be worth having another word with your GP- I think the NHS has targets for people who are referred for counselling to be seen in a certain time- mine was 13 weeks.

Hi Josephine, Thanks I didn't know that target was in place, my gp clearly isn't aware of it either... It seems like they're struggling to cope with demand but 6 months and still waiting isn't too impressive. As you say, it's a cost you'd rather have go towards debt or savings but it does make a difference.