MSE Parents Club Part 11

Fitzio

Morning Bruno,

Nice to see you posting for a change.

Your poor OH sounds really stressed. On days when you aren’t around, does she get out at all? Even if she has nothing planned, does she go to the park for a walk or anything just to get out of the house and some fresh air?
I think you said before that she doesn’t make friends easily, but I think she could really do with some company. My local Netmums site is always arranging meet ups every week. Could you check out something like that? It also has a “Meet a Mum” board where people post if they are new to the area etc and are looking for other mums to chat to. I definitely think that nursery sounds like a good idea to give your DW some time to herself.
I can imagine that several days indoors with a boisterous toddler could get a little tedious if she is struggling to think of things to do, but I think she should definitely try to deal with it before it gets any worse. Would she be receptive to the idea of counselling?

Fitzio

Morning Maz,

Zebras are here. Sugar said they were 3 for 2 so she would like one if anyone manages to get them.
Did your 2 sleep ok last night?

Becles

BrunoM wrote: »

We're also looking at playgroup/nursery stuff maybe for a couple of mornings a week or so. Both for a bit of socialising for E but more majorly for OH to have breaks; she isn't coping very well at the moment when it's just her and Elijah for long periods. Whole days planned in advance are ok but multiple days...

Would a little part time job help?

When Joshua was a year old, my ex was working very long hours and I didn't really know anyone due to moving into the area recently. It was one of those typical grey wet November weeks where the damp just hangs in the air. Josh was really poorly with a heavy cold, so I didn't want to take him out in the damp, and I spent a week indoors with nobody to talk to and it did my head in!

Found a part time job working three evenings a week 4pm-9pm in a call centre. It was a really crap job but it got me out of the house and got me talking to people. I liked the chat with people in my team as it was never baby talk.

Hope you get something sorted out and she feels better soon

Hope you are ok Always xx

MadDogWoman_2

Morning everyone,

Hugs to Bruno and Mrs Bruno - it sounds like a good plan. I also like Beccles' suggestion.

SM let's turn the 14th into a double celebration, you passing your theory test and Katie's birthday.

I was wondering about the zebra thing too so thank you. Katie's too big.

Really must get dressed and get to the supermarket, but I've put Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on that I Sky+d over Christmas - I'm dribbling over Johnny Depp.

Sarah_Joanne

always29 wrote: »

am a bad mummy - had a very un:money:and unhealthy day as have been drinking pretty much all day with my best friend and left Tom at home with several cartons of formula and his daddy. But think it's "justified" as my Dad died on Monday evening, I needed the "day off". Thank you FB mummies for the words of support, it means a lot.

(((hugs~))) So sorry for your loss and you don't need to justify some you time at any time and certainly not at a time like this

BrunoM wrote: »

England shops don't all go 11-5 on Sundays and public holidays - it's something to do with big chain shops only or something. Not sure exactly how it works but for example my Sainsbury's Local is open 7am-11pm 7 days a week.

I thought it was something to do with floor space that's why smaller shops can open longer? (I may have made that up though lol!)

Nursery sounds like a good idea to me As do Fitz's suggestions about getting out of the house, netmums etc. And I'm loving the cleaners! Wish we could do that (every week lol)

Yey for clapping and clever babies :T

We had a good night last night, just up a little bit too early this morning (6.15 *yawn*)

MadDogWoman_2

I found this on BBC News website:

Under the Sunday Trading Act 1994, large shops over 280 square metres may only open for six continual hours between 10am and 6pm on Sundays, excluding Easter Sunday, when they must remain closed.

This covers England and Wales.

Sarah_Joanne

Ooh I was right lol! No idea how I knew that!

SugarSpun

Thanks choppy, you're very lovely :A

BrunoM wrote: »

We're also looking at playgroup/nursery stuff maybe for a couple of mornings a week or so. Both for a bit of socialising for E but more majorly for OH to have breaks; she isn't coping very well at the moment when it's just her and Elijah for long periods. Whole days planned in advance are ok but multiple days...

Off to Hampstead Heath to meet my mum and get very wet and muddy once the cleaners turn up.

Weezl, can we have more updates please, I'm sure you're tired and busy but my needs come first! :A Half the reason I keep lurking is to check on your progress!

I think the counselling and the nursery would be a good idea. It sounds to me like your OH is getting very stressed by E, and since he is a rowdy little thing and she is by herself with him a lot of the time it is not surprising. I worry that maybe she's so stressed about it that she's always starting her days from a baseline of stressed so that it takes a little less for her to get angry, and then she has to deal with feeling guilty and ashamed and then that makes her more stressed for the next day. Does that make sense? From that perspective, some time where he's doing his own thing sounds like an excellent plan, and counselling could help her manage her feelings and her anger a bit better.

Your Hampstead trip sounds like a lot of fun and I agree with updates. They are needed!

Sarah_Joanne

Ooh and I want a zebra! Am going to go to Tesco today to try and get one. I'm hoping that I won't have to go to all 3 of the Tesco stores near me but I will if I have to.

BrunoM

Thanks for comments/advice, all. Cleaners half hour late so far, no answer on the numbers I have for them, can't wait in much longer without screwing up our trip anyway, will end up going out and give up on them

At Aless's helpful advice, OH joined a US expat women in London organisation, but she is so far too shy/stressed about going with E, to turn up at any of the events hopefully will eventually arrange things so she can get to one and then if she likes it things will get easier.