Frightened about my future

jinny

Hopeless at picking men Sw but it has to be said that if a man wont comitt then he is just not serious about you I know from experience on that one. a man should feel afraid you will go off with another man if he really wants you he will make dam sure you belong to him only. There is a great girly film out called hes just not that into you and that points out what i believe to be true. Men want love too and to be trusted and women want love and to trust. It will take time to mourn the loss of her father, so he has to be patient he may feel left out of the grief I dont know. I wish your friend well thats just my slant on things based on my disasterous dealings with men.

savingwannabe

EEEK happy pub quiz. This emoticon jobby is the best i could get. Elsie, if you want to use the download method after i put in the picture i cut the adverts at the bottom.

SW hugs,

savingwannabe

Niddy we need a male perspective sometimes.

She is financially independent (has expensive house, paid for in cash, car etc), she is stunning and she is kind. I think he is mad.

You guys dont think like us so it might be good to know why he is being such an idiot. If you have time, pigs might fly as you are so busy on here, could you explain why he feels like this.

Swanfan tomorrow could you offer comments too? I cannot ring my church friends husbands (for advice as I usually do) as they dont like the fact that he isn't a Christian.

I know this isnt a problem page but it would be nice to see what people suggest.

savingwannabe

goodnight all. 3 Dogs - tell Mr 3 Dogs to go to Brighton my friend knows the best places to eat in there! In fact meet up with us next week if you can and i will treat you!!!

SW.

jinny

Goodnight Sw its been emotional! X

never-in-doubt

savingwannabe wrote: »

Niddy we need a male perspective sometimes.

She is financially independent (has expensive house, paid for in cash, car etc), she is stunning and she is kind. I think he is mad.

You guys dont think like us so it might be good to know why he is being such an idiot. If you have time, pigs might fly as you are so busy on here, could you explain why he feels like this.

Swanfan tomorrow could you offer comments too? I cannot ring my church friends husbands (for advice as I usually do) as they dont like the fact that he isn't a Christian.

I know this isnt a problem page but it would be nice to see what people suggest.

Now you've asked i'll tell you what I originally thought, before I walked (for my own safety) - don't shoot me it's just my opinion....

- Why hasn't she snapped out of it? Surely you're seeing her perspective, what about his? maybe she sits there dwelling and feeling sorry for herself all day - who knows? That's enough to annoy the most saintly of person...

- Why is he at fault here? Exactly what has he done other than be blunt (sometimes a good thing)? Settling down is a two way street, maybe just maybe he doesn't want to or maybe he is scared of commitment? Again, who knows?

What we don't know here, is the facts and as such my opinion would sway toward him and i'd suggest that she snaps out of it and grows up and stops pressurising the poor lad. As I say, from what you've said it does seem to be all "her" - not him. Has she sat him down and asked him, why he doesn't want to get serious? has he been hurt in the past? Is she really, as you say, beautiful? If so maybe he is insecure?

Way too many permutations for me to give any manly insight, plus i'm actually one of those blokes that does tend to say it how it is.... you know the sort, go to a pregnant woman and ask when it is due - then find out she's just overweight - you get the idea! :rotfl:

mouseann

Hi everybody.

Fell asleep in front of the telly, so have been very quiet on this front!

However, I do agree with what everyone else has said about your friend, SW.

If her other half can't be supportive at a time of bereavement it doesn't make him a good long-term proposition.

However, it is not that easy with relationships - when you really like someone it is so easy to make excuses for them and hang in there, when deep down you really know that it is not good news. However, no-one wants to be told the brutal truth about that!

I think your strategy of giving her cake and tirasimu, plus a lot of support and sympathy is the best way forward. She probably needs someone to listen to her and I am sure you will be excellent at that!

That's my (very amateur!) 1ops worth!

mouseann

never-in-doubt wrote: »

you know the sort, go to a pregnant woman and ask when it is due - then find out she's just overweight - you get the idea! :rotfl:

I've done that before now! Not necessarily a bloke thing ....

mouseann

I'm off to bed now - really tired tonight!

All that work cutting down shrubs to clear the way for the fence bloke - and still have a couple more days' work to do.

Just hope it is good for the stress and the weight!

Night all.

jinny

good to get a mans point of view nid I know from the younger lads at work they soon ditch a lass who is a bit needy for want of a better phrase not that i am making light of your friends grief that takes as long as the person needs but it shouldnt take too long or even your nearest and dearest get a bit fed up with it. i know when my friend lost her dad she ended up dragging the mood down a bit when ever we saw her. She should see her GP if it is taking over her day to day life what kind of commitment does she want is it marriage i know some people just dont feel the need to. or simply does she want some form of public show of commitment or for him to move in and have babies ect (or matching avatars -sorry the nids the devils are cute)
Everyone has a right to know if the relationship is heading somewhere nid is right they need to talk to each other and ask ask ask