when you divorced did you........

January20

For the same reasons a couple of other posters mentioned, I reverted back to my maiden name because a) I wanted to get rid of HIS name and b) it never felt like my name and I wanted to be me again. Also, he was getting remarried so I didn't want to have the same name as her either (as he cheated on me with her).

I was concerned because my dd has his name but she was really matter of fact about it and said that although we would have a different name, it wouldn't change anything to the fact we were mother and daughter. She was so right! And only about 8 at the time.

shazrobo

when i got divorced, i went back to my maiden name, but havent voted, cos i also got a change of name deed for each of my sons, so that we would all have the same surname

Ickle-toots

I reverted straight back to my maiden name after divorce - had no children & didn't really want my post etc in my old married name as I was with my new partner who is now my husband.

My x sister-in-law kept my brothers name as they had young children but when she re-married last year, she kept my brothers name & added new husbands to it, making it double barreled BUT her new husband also took my brothers name & added it in front of his so it matched with his wife so they are now both "Bentley-Webb" !! Can't believe they would/could do this as the 'children' are now 22 & 24 so they could've just had his surname as Webb but I expect they decided to keep mine/my brothers surname as it had a nice ring to it !! - My Dad wasn't very happy about it either but couldn't do anything about it.

Good luck whatever you decide to do in the future

cloverfan

Thank you all for your opinions, I feel a little confused as I want the same name as my children but I dont want to have his name anymore, perhaps i will double barrel it like another poster mentioned

Swan_2

cloverfan wrote: »

but i do still love him....problem is whilst i think he does love me he just cant be faithful and to my mind that hurts more than being without him. he keeps saying he wants to come back i keep saying no, for over a year he has spent trying to convince me he can be faithful so the first time i give him an opening he tells me he wouldnt be faithful:(

you will love someone else one day :A

I don't doubt for one minute that he loves you, in is way ... but some men just can't be faithful & they cause dreadful pain to the women involved with them, but they'll do & say anything to keep the ones who are hooked dangling, waiting & hoping

be strong, I know from personal experience it's hard to do, but one day you'll meet a man who will be yours & yours alone, & that's the way it should be

cloverfan

thank you swan i hope you are right xx

me-shelly

I kept married name, then met OH had kids then married for a second time (kids father) so now we all have the same name.

Swan_2

cloverfan wrote: »

Thank you all for your opinions, I feel a little confused as I want the same name as my children but I dont want to have his name anymore, perhaps i will double barrel it like another poster mentioned

I kept my husband's name, I feared it would confuse the children (now adults) & much as I didn't want his name any more, their needs came first

& as time went by, my antipathy towards him lessened & I didn't mind having his name so much

perhaps if I'd met someone else, I'd have thought differently about it, but we've been apart & now divorced 7 years & I've been single since then (faaar too old to start again ) so it hasn't been an issue

I think we all have to make our own decisions based upon our own individual circumstances

Swan_2

cloverfan wrote: »

thank you swan i hope you are right xx

you sound young & with much that life has to offer ahead of you don't waste it on philandering men, there are good men out there

re my post above about being single, that's only because I'm old, & men my age are only interested in younger women, or they're alkies/losers, or the good ones are taken ... or, see below

I did have an ex of mine in hot pursuit when he found out I was separated, but he was one of the 'can't be faithful' brigade, which is why he was an ex in the first place ... he's currently on holiday with his 'girlfriend' (she's paying) who he sees 1 or 2 days a fortnight (the rest of the time he does whatever he likes with whoever he likes) meanwhile he's still texting me " 'Swan' I love you" ... yeah right!

stay strong, you don't need man like that in your life, he'll only hold you back, you deserve better :A

cloverfan

Swan i am 33, i was with him since i was 15, we split on valentines day last year(when i got flowers in someone elses name and she got mine:mad:) This was the 8th one that i know of and after the one b4(best friend on my sofa:mad::mad::mad:) i was actually stupid enough to think he had changed but he hadnt.....so i decided i didnt want my children to see how things were between us and accept someone treating them like that when they were older or thinking it acceptable to do to someone else BUT ...........just sometimes it really hits home that i did genuinely think i would spend my whole life with this man, and i loved him so much and now i am on my own....and sometimes the thought of meeting someone else(a thought that is becoming more frequent i do admit:o) is scary!!!!!!!!!!! and so i thought it is time to get things moving re divorce etc...

i am rambling, sorry!