In-Laws and Dog - Baby on way

Any

Zazen999 wrote: »

Do babies attack dogs then? I must have missed THAT news report.....

Not babies, but children can provoke a dog. Hell an adult can provoke a dog.

I don't think she meant it like that though... I agree, the problem didn't arise at all yet and just coming to MIL's house and start listing her " rules" with the baby before any problems even arose is just asking for trouble...

Zazen999

Any wrote: »

Not babies, but children can provoke a dog. Hell an adult can provoke a dog.

I don't think she meant it like that though... I agree, the problem didn't arise at all yet and just coming to MIL's house and start listing her " rules" with the baby before any problems even arose is just asking for trouble...

I think people need to decide whether children are more important than dogs, in all honesty.

It seems in some houses, people would rather their dogs were ok than their own [potential] grandchildren. Very sad state of affairs.

Any

Zazen999 wrote: »

I think people need to decide whether children are more important than dogs, in all honesty.

It seems in some houses, people would rather their dogs were ok than their own [potential] grandchildren. Very sad state of affairs.

I personally have never experienced this. When I take my nieces out everyone either puts the dog into other room or has the dog at the heel and don't let the dog get near the baby. And I never needed to say anything.

Gemsgalore

Good grief, she is not setting any 'rules' she is simply asking how she should handle the dog situation......where has she set rules?

To the other poster (littlerat I think) who wouldn't like me asking her to put the dogs in another room from my baby when I visited. Can you tell me whom you would blame then if your dogs mauled my child? Would it be my fault for visiting you, your fault for not minimising the risk or the baby fault? Do you have kids? If you do, don't you always put their safety before anything else?

cheepskate_2

Zazen999 wrote: »

I think people need to decide whether children are more important than dogs, in all honesty.

It seems in some houses, people would rather their dogs were ok than their own [potential] grandchildren. Very sad state of affairs.

????? by doing as some on here say and banging the dog in the room everytime the baby visits is (potentialy) putting the child at risk

Any

Gemsgalore wrote: »

Good grief, she is not setting any 'rules' she is simply asking how she should handle the dog situation......that did not arise yet....

I just think it's a bit premature.

*Louise*

littlerat wrote: »

However, I wouldn't take kindly to somebody coming to MY house and telling me I had to shut MY dog away, sorry but if they came to your house, would you shut your children away so their dog could have a run around? In your house fine, your rules, but you can't expect other people to change their whole house for you, you just can't.

Not being funny, but there are alot of assumptions on these threads that people ORDER others about 'You WILL NOT smoke around my child...you WILL shut your dog away' etc etc and it's just not like that!

If I was uncomfortable with someone's dog being around my child, I would be making any request with the utmost politeness so as not to offend. I certainly wouldn't be ordering someone what to do in their own home.

You state a nice request, if it is followed, you visit. If it isn't you don't. Simple.


And anyway, it's not even about dogs being shut away completely...it's ultimately about a dog and a baby not being left unsupervised...does anyone REALLY disagree with that???

paddy's_mum

rach83 - what does your husband say about the dog and perhaps more importantly, his parents' degree of consideration/commonsense?

Have you ever had an actual problem with them behaving in a short-sighted or selfish manner or is it just that you want to be prepared to nip a potential problem in the bud?

It is surprisingly easy to worry too much about the wellbeing of a child (no offense intended to you or any mother, btw) and not always easy to steer a sensible, middle course. If there is anything to say, perhaps your husband should be the one to say it as it's likely to come better from their son than from you.

I hope that your husband realises that he has a gem and that too many daughters in law wouldn't give a toss about rubbing the in-laws up the wrong way.

delain

A slightly off centre pov, but my DD's auntie has two border collies, and the auntie used to babysit my daughter sometimes when she was small, and one day when I went round their house with DD, they wouldn't let anyone but her auntie touch DD! They loved and were fiercely protective of her

SugarSpun

*Louise* wrote: »

Btw OP - I think you should allow the dog to be introduced to the baby, but make it clear that they are never to be left alone together.

A lot of people feel insulted and say their dog wouldn't hurt a fly - but how many times has everyone heard that??

Better to be too safe than too complacent.....

I agree completely - but it's not only a matter of never leaving them alone but socialising dog and baby so each knows how to deal with the other.

Zazen999 wrote: »

I think people need to decide whether children are more important than dogs, in all honesty.

It seems in some houses, people would rather their dogs were ok than their own [potential] grandchildren. Very sad state of affairs.

This was precisely the situation at my parents' house - we'd booked to come over and arranged that dog and baby would never be left alone or not closely unsupervised but my brother took the hump that his dog would be expected to compromise his normal near-aggressive behaviour and it escalated to the point where we were told we could come to collect the things we keep there and then leave again. For good.

I understand where the OP is coming from, and we managed to work through the dog/baby conflict very carefully - but my relationship with my parents and brother is permanently damaged because of their refusal to understand my concerns that their uncivilised dog who routinely backs guests into corners and growls at them might pose a risk to a then four month old baby. I asked advice on the pets forum and got about a 50/50 response from responsible dog owners saying, This is how you socialise a dog to a baby, and if you're worried here is information, and half saying, it's the dog's house so he shouldn't have to do anything different.

(FWIW, friends of mine are frightened of cats. I used to put our cat into the kitchen when they visited so he wouldn't scare them, even though I knew he was far too feeble and old to get up enough speed that they couldn't outrun him even if both their legs were broken. It's just courtesy to your guests.)

We walked on eggshells at my parents' and tried our hardest not to cause offence but did so because they were at first completely unwilling to do anything that would mean the dog didn't leap all over all of us, snap at us and back us into corners every chance he got. Like I said, we managed through carefully introducing the dog and the baby and holding both to the same sort of standard of behaviour (noise out of either one and the noisemaker was taken into another room and calmed down) - but we probably won't stay again until she's old enough to know that some dogs are not for touching.

OP, I'd ask them if they have any thoughts on how to introduce the dog and the baby so neither one is upset or frightened. Hopefully you'll find that they've done some research, and if not then ask if they mind if you do some and get back to them. Chances are that with a grandchild at stake they'll be accommodating, and if not I'm going to wonder why you married into my family and I didn't notice