In-Laws and Dog - Baby on way

rach83

Following on from the in-Laws and smoking thread I have a similar problem but relating to a dog.

I am expecting my first baby in May. My OH's family have a staffie. I am no dog expert but he seems to be reasonably well behaved (hes 2 and has been owned from a puppy). I don’t want to start a massive debate but I know that as dogs they do not have the best reputation for one reason or another.

The dog has never experienced being in the company of children/babies before and I am worried that because he gets so much attention at the moment that he will get jealous of the baby. He is a very strong dog and I am not overly happy about the baby being around him full stop. We are inevitably going to have to go to their house with the baby and this worries me.

What can I do without causing upset to the in-laws?

Zazen999

Ban the dog from being near the baby.

[Rach - it's your baby - you make the rules - you don't have to make them all at once, just as each situation presents itself]....

brians_daughter

my mil has a dog, my lo is just 1. we have never let the dog anywhere near the baby when alone. we spent a good 6 months (on advice of a dog trainer) introducing them and showing the dog that the baby was its superior. There was no reason why we would think badly of the dog, he is great and has never even so much as had a nip at another dog, But seeing as dogs cant be predicted we did it to be sure. Now the baby will 'play' with the dog ie throw a ball etc for him and the dog knows baby is boss. That said we would never leave him in the room with him alone.

It is important to not neglect the dog, by that i mean its important to continue giving it attention ie if you usually walk in and pet the dog you should continue to do so once baby is born. Now is your chance to change any habits you wont be happy with once baby is born.


Personally i would consult a dog trainer/vet and get advice, as well as reading all you can on safety etc. One thing we did was buy a baby/dog gate for mil before baby was born so dog could be kept in another room. once baby was here dog was used to being in another room sometimes so it wasnt a big deal

You arent upsetting MIL just expalin with all the horror stories you want to ensure dog doesnt feel left out etc and you want to ensure you are prepared when baby arrives

sorry for typos, but in a rush and didnt wanna read n run

belfastgirl23

Some great advice from brians daughter above, I would def be cautious with the dog and get some proper advice about introducing the baby to it. But also just wanted to add that it's actually great for kids to be around animals as well. I have a friend who is very scared of dogs and it really is debilitating for her - she can't walk around the local park for example because of it. Now that she has kids herself it's cutting down on what she can do with them. So it's actually a good opportunity for you to expose baby to animals, very carefully obviously! I think it would be a great shame to totally prevent any interactions unless you have very specific concerns about the dog...

System

Zazen999 wrote: »

Ban the dog from being near the baby.

[Rach - it's your baby - you make the rules - you don't have to make them all at once, just as each situation presents itself]....

or conversely ban the baby from being near the dog

[it's their house and the dog's home]

SugarSpun

I posted a similar thread in the Pets forum with a similar situation (except it was my parents and the dog's completely untrained).

My advice is to let them know your concerns well in advance and ask for their help in coming to a solution. You might find that they're happy to put the dog in another room when the baby's around. My parents weren't the most cooperative but we compromised by letting the baby meet the dog with the dog on a short leash. And whenever either baby or dog made excessive noise, the noise-making one was taken out of the room.

It goes without saying that leaving the dog and the baby unattended is not ever acceptable, but also worth noting that if either parent in law is not mobile enough to get to the dog/baby super fast that counts as unattended.

Good luck

seatzie

something else to consider further down the line, when the baby starts walking, it will move from same level to taller than the dog, the dog may see this as a threat especially if it sees your mil giving the baby affection etc, may perceive being moved down the pecking order, our springer used to growl when the baby walked over towards it, vet said it was realising it was moving down in the "pack" order, after a few weeks of being used to a toddler instead of a baby everything was fine, so I guess what I'm saying is always be vigilant, don't become complacent because the dog appears to accept the presence of the baby, even months down the line

onlyroz

The dog might well get "jealous" for want of a better word. Remember they are pack animals and so it is important to them to know their "place" within the family. In their minds, they should be ranked above a new baby and so might get confused if the baby receives more attention and gets better priviledges than they do.

Gemsgalore

Hi Rach, I am dog mad, love all animals especially dogs ......but when it comes to babies.....

When I had my first child I had a German shepherd, she was 5 years old and was my OH (I did love my hubby too lol) and I loved her to bits......we went everywhere together except my work. She loved everyone aswell as kids, and had never shown an ounce of aggression.....ever. She was fully trained and didn't even need a leash, wouldn't leave my side. When my daughter was 3 weeks old I had her lying on the changing mat on the floor in living room, while changing her nappy, dog was lying beside us as always. I realised I had no vaseline left and quickly dived into kitchen cupboard to get some, I could only have been gone around 10-15 seconds or so and to my absolute horror, as I walked back into the room, the dog had lowered her ears, hackles raised, and was just about to grab my baby, (by the face I think). I will never forget that moment as long as I live!!! I ran forward, instinctively kicked dogs face away and grabbed baby. I was shaking like a leaf, another few seconds and..........

What I'm saying is, no dog however well trained, however much it loves and plays with kids and licks everyones face to death........should be left alone around any child. It was obviously jealousy with my dog as she had me to herself all her life, and baby was a threat to this. Not her fault, it was just instinct and this new threat had to be dealt with ....doggy style. She immediately went to live with my mum and stayed there till she died aged 10. I missed her so much and cried for weeks about what had happened but am just so thankful I still had my daughter in one piece.

If anyone had asked me if I thought she would ever have touched my baby I would have laughed at them and told them what a big softy she was and wouldn't hurt a fly...........

Kay_Peel

Can I share some experiences of introducing family dogs to new babies?

The kindest thing is to give the dog some gentle training.

First Meeting: It's a good idea to put them outside the room where the baby is and to let them look and hear the strange sounds from afar, while watching how you interact with the baby. Get them to sit or lie down in the hallway, but in a position where they can see you and watch what is going on. Reward them for staying outside. Physically remove them and tell them to 'stay', if they creep back in.

They begin to sense that the baby is important but vulnerable and (like a new puppy) in need of protection. They also sense that the baby is to be respected. The dog may look anxious - but they are just trying to fathom out how to behave towards the little human, so don't worry about their 'feelings'.

Their instincts tell them to protect the baby - just watch how protective they are when you go for a walk with the baby in a buggy. You might find that they get nervous when strangers try to look at the baby, so keep an eye on this over-protective instinct. They may seem to get fidgety and nervy when the baby starts crying and start barking - but they are simply telling you to attend to the baby.


If the baby has a room/space in the house, then train the dog not to go inside that room or near that space. Do this:

Leave the door open when you are dealing with the baby. If the dog enters, order him or her to go out. When they leave the room and sit outside, give them lots of attention and tell them how good they are. Continue doing what you are doing and the dog may creep back in - repeat the exercise. And keep repeating the exercise until the dog learns that his/her place is outside the room. It's well worth 30 minutes of training.

Your dog will be less confused and baffled by the addition to your house if you PUT the dog in its place right from the word go. They know exactly where they stand and they will be happier. The worst thing you can do is give it mixed messages - allowing it near the baby one minute and shouting at it for getting too near the next. That would be very cruel.

The dog will be happier for the training, you won't be so anxious and your baby will get the welcome and security she or he deserves. Speak to your family beforehand and tell them what you want to do to ensure the best possible relationship between dog and baby. I'm sure they'll be happy to start good habits sooner rather than later.

Good luck!

Sneezy

My Nan has always had German Shepherds and when their previous dog Max died in 92 they got another one (Sam) a few weeks before my sister was born - they litterally grew up together....when my sister needed telling off for being cheeky/naughty etc, Sam would growl at my mum - my mum had to take my sister into the hall to tell her off for fear of being bitten by Sam (he was a big softy and never hurt anyone whilst he was alive regardless of scaring the crap out of some ppl)!

Needless to say my Nana never left us alone with him no matter how much she trusted him.