What next? The witch is still at it!

maggied_2

Daksa you clever sausage! Will have a look at that later - better do my homework before my class tonight anyway (how old am I??).

Thanks so much for all your input, will pop back on later

C xxx

daska

Suggest you get the recording device in place first and have the police on speed-dial LOL

missmontana

Dictaphone.. it took me a minute :rotfl:

Keep up the good spirits (just not the alcoholic type) x

chriszzz

Oh Maggied....all this hassle just because your OH loves his child and has found a lovely woman to share his family with!!
I have read your posts over time and you and your OH have had nothing but a horendous time.
I really dont know how you have managed to stay sane and still in your relationship!! Good for you that you have managed to cope with all what she throws at you both.
It may not be much comfort now but one day it will come back to bite her on her arss.

alwayspuzzled

daska wrote: »

Oooh! Look what I found!

http://www.sundialtele.com/callrecorder.php?gclid=CPLMxq2GjqACFc9i4wodE2dNdA

also some very interesting info here http://www.labnol.org/internet/voice/record-mobile-phone-calls-secretly/1854/ the mobile record lead can be bought on ebay from £7 and digital voice recorder for about the same although if you want to be able to download to pc goes up to £30ish. Wish I'd looked into this yrs ago!

Blonde_Bint

Hi Maggied

I just came back to stress one thing. You've sat and taken enough now. Every time she 'does her thing' and by that I mean anything, I think you should involve the police. This is now a very very very extreme case of harrassment. Each time she makes you feel threatened or turns up at the house etc Get the police involved each time with everything there are steps to follow, please do this if you feel silly tell the police this. They wont think it trivial they deal with this on a daily basis remember:)

The police turned out to be our best allies and absolute cast iron proof of every incident we were put through, they took detailed notes. I think (and I understand your hesitation) that the time has come to really stop taking it.:) I actually feel sick for you knowing the things that happend to me and dh will be similar incidents to your own.

maggied_2

Thanks BB - I'm going to give them a call today - not to give any names at this stage but just to see what the structure is, what info we would need to provide, how to take things further etc.

I've woken up again today feeling wound up - in fact I feel physically sick.

I've said to OH that this needs to end now - it really does. He's speaking to her mother today (I think mainly to sort out the school holidays thing - he is going to talk about all the other stuff but she's not really going to want to hear more about how vile her daughter is (she's got exactly the same personality and did the same to her XH when they divorced) so that may be of limited benefit).

He called CAFCASS yesterday who said their involvement was over (how helpful!) but someone is calling back today.

ETA: Update - I've spoken to the police - I'm going to speak to them later with OH and put in a report to get things moving. It does feel very weird to be doing this - my upbringing was so 'normal' and boring in comparison. Fingers crossed....xx

Blonde_Bint

Good luck.:)

For what its worth I believe you are doing the right thing. the reason you feel funny about it is because this is not you and its not what you do. as you say its not the way your life was and you have no experience.

We didnt have to call the police she was the one sending them. what changed for us was instead of sitting there taking it we started to tell the police our side of events and making a point of doings so everytime. it wasnt me but I had to do it. It took a while but eventually the police actually 'knew the drill' if you will, it was obvious once the police got into the routine exactly what was going on but it all had to unfold infront of the police iyswim, us telling them is one thing but her giving the police an eyefull did us the world of good.

Keep at it Maggied each time her actions are unacceptable get the police. what amazes me is you get so used to the way our pwc's act that you dont realise it but you accept it as normal. eg think about the way your pwc behaves and then ask yourself what would you do if your mother spoke to/treated you that way or your sister etc. it wouldnt be acceptable and you wouldnt be around them.

Now you have decided to do something about it Maggied its most important that you keep it up at the point you would normally bow to her demands this is when you will need to keep at it and you know what your pwc is, once the penny drops and she realises your not going to bow to her actions anymore you know she'll utilise her dd. i'd fully expect that dont crumble at that point your going to have to stick to your guns.

xx Binty

maggied_2

BB - I have no doubt she will bring her poor DD into this even more, hence my reluctance to take this option.

It is not going to be an easy time - I know that. However she no longer holds the trump card - the only thing she could 'get' at OH was a threat to halt access. I suppose she could move away but we'd just work something else out. Plus I doubt she'd want to give up her little babysitting circle - her social life would suffer far too much!

I'll keep you updated - thank you all for your words of encouragement.

ETA - have just spoken to OH and he's happy to go ahead. We'll get together the messages etc tonight (he deleted the voice mail unfortunately) and then call the police.

He's now a bit worried that she may have kept nasty messages from him (he has told her to f-off a few times) but as I pointed out if they both get an order to stay away and halt all contact then we get the same result.

Am feeling a bit better now - I'm going abroad on Sunday with work for 4 days and am actually looking forward to it - how sad is that!!

And thanks to whoever posted the link to the directgov site - I have printed this off and highlighted the relevant sections.

Out of interest, she says she earns too much to get the 80% discount. She has 2 children (8 and 4) - what do you reckon would be the cut off point? She's always saying how poor she is and that she doesn't get any help with tax credits / HB / CT benefit etc - what would she have to be earning? Seeing as she only does 30 hours a week I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong job :rotfl:

daska

maggied wrote: »

Out of interest, she says she earns too much to get the 80% discount. She has 2 children (8 and 4) - what do you reckon would be the cut off point? She's always saying how poor she is and that she doesn't get any help with tax credits / HB / CT benefit etc - what would she have to be earning? Seeing as she only does 30 hours a week I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong job :rotfl:

So she's gone from hardly any help to no help in the space of a few days? Track what she's saying, record it accurately, sounds as if she's told you so many porkies she can't remember. Bit like our NRP who also makes things up as she goes along LOL.

maggied wrote: »

She has gone crazy at this, saying OH can't dictate to her, that she hardly gets any discount towards CC and the most anyone can claim is 70%.

She's also said that she has informed the IR that she'll only be claiming for half the school holidays, meaning that OH will have to pay full price for childcare on 'his' weeks as he can't make a claim against it.