What next? The witch is still at it!

13Kent

Sorry can't help much, except to say try to let things wash over you instead of taking them to heart -we have been in a similar situation with a horrific PWC that uses tricks you have described in previous posts. Try not to let her get to you and ruin your life - we found she was causing arguments and upset between us - not to mention that sinking feeling when yet another letter from the CSA arrived on the doormat. We now try to take a step back and not take it too seriously, try to do our best for the children despite the obstacles, and focus on how our life will be when the whole CSA nightmare is over. Good Luck!

Blonde_Bint

Oh Maggied, I feel really lousy for you while I read your post, I really do. The thing is as an nrpp who has your pwc's identical twin sister, the unfortunate thing is that short of hiring a hitman you and me both know that this is only going to stop once the child is an adult.

For me I think the only thing you can do is each time she chucks one of her situations at you, you should phone the police, every time. she sends a crummy threatening text get the police, the next time she turns up on your doorstep screaming and banging at it dont answer it for her to have a row with you phone the police and have them remove her if they catch her at it they may even charge her for disturbing the peace or something it may sound extreme to some but i've had similar situations to you and years later I think I should have got the police involved even though it seemed stupid and too trivial for police involvement at the time. Another reason to keep contacting the police is so that there is proper evidence of each incident that she creates and as these rack up hopefully there will be a more solid way of stopping her.


one of our many incidents: I cant remember why she turned up at our door I was somewhere else at the time. our pwc is screaming and shouting at dh outside our house, dh stupidly goes out, pwc stops a passing police car (who says theres never a copper around when you need one) dh told me later the police ferried everyone into the house (she was there with a friend) then our pwc showed herself for what she is she screamed and shouted said dh was a bad father you know the usual etc etc blah blah, the police took HER away and gave her cant remember now something like a warning or caution for disturbing the peace :rotfl:. Fortunately our pwc is such an ar se that all the neighbours could tell the police that she was the one abusive and dh hadnt touched her or shouted or anything.

Obviously the police have a record of this incident along with many others which didnt do her any favours when she tried to go the mud slinging route. Call the police and get it all documented and witnessed every time no matter how trivial you think the police might see it. I know what it feels like to be sat inside your house and having to think before you go to the door you and dh looking at each other and no one moving.

Blonde_Bint

13Kent wrote: »

Sorry can't help much, except to say try to let things wash over you instead of taking them to heart -we have been in a similar situation with a horrific PWC that uses tricks you have described in previous posts. Try not to let her get to you and ruin your life - we found she was causing arguments and upset between us - not to mention that sinking feeling when yet another letter from the CSA arrived on the doormat. We now try to take a step back and not take it too seriously, try to do our best for the children despite the obstacles, and focus on how our life will be when the whole CSA nightmare is over. Good Luck!

Thats how we live, scary isnt it. sometimes I feel like i'm wishing away my ss's childhood. and in some ways I am. but I know that we will all only have any kind of life together once the pwc's hold has gone. And I just wait for that day.

daska

For us it's the nrp who's a mad, bad witch but I get where you're coming from because we had to change phone numbers when she found out that dad was on chemo and she started really hassling him - !!!!!!!?

maggied_2

Thank you lovely people!

Daksa - great minds! I had pretty much that conversation with OH this morning - if she's going to be difficult then we'll do the same and DSD won't be going to that nursery - we'll sort out our own (although won't be in nursery - we'll have to do it between us and family). We have all the same expenses as X, plus paying her maintenance AND we have to pay full whack for childcare when she pays 20% - not gonna happen!

Am going to sit with OH and update the 'log' (which started last September when she turned up at the house) - I think he's going to speak to her mum and say that if things don't change sharpish then he'll be taking whatever steps necessary to get her out of our lives.

Once we've spoken I'll contact the police and see exactly what options are open to us. I feel silly doing it a way because you can't just call the police because someone's hurt your feelings!! But we're not living in the shadow of some nasty little cow that OH got pregnant when he was younger. DSD is only 8 - we are not doing this for another 10 years!

maggied_2

Just another thing then. Does anyone have experience of non molestation orders / injunctions? They seem to be largely aimed for people who are 'at risk' from the other party.

Can you do this directly through the courts? (rather than using a solicitor?)

Is it a viable course of action? Could she argue that she needs to stay in touch because of DD?

Do the police support this?

Thanks again.

C xx

maggied_2

OK really just one more thing!!
She called last week (or rather got DSD to call) and then dictated a rant down the phone (you could actually hear her in the background:().

In it she threatened to come and "bray our door down" (isn't she a doll? pure class) if a pair of boots DSD had left at ours weren't delivered to hers that day. Now that's kind of threatening isn't it? Also (just to make it more depressing) DSD actually edited that part, as she did in other parts where she removed the word "crappy"..and others.

How do we record this sort of thing? Obviously the phone will only store it for 7 days. If we logged the contents would this count?

I know I'm grasping at straws here but we are not continuing living this abnormal life.

Again would appreciate ANY feedback.

Do you think it's worth copying this on the families board as well?

charlea

while i can give you any practical advice the mobile phone number blocker sofware is excellent and really simple to use but you do have to have a specific phone it wont work on all models
i know that samsung phone you can put in a number and it will reject the number so you dont even know that its rang you

depending on your network and if you are on a contract i would contact them and see if they can block her number 02 and tmobile use to do this not sure if they still offer this now

failing that put her number in the phone to the ring tone of psyco or just on silent that way even if she rings you wont have to anwser it or hear it
or just anwser it and stuff it down the side of the sofa

maggied_2

Hi Charlea

Thanks for that - it looks like the N97 will accept the software which is what he was after anyway so will get one of those.

Your other suggestions would be fine if she didn't get DSD to call up and leave messages on her behalf. How that girl isn't completely screwed up I don't know.

OH has already contacted Orange and they are unable to block numbers. I have no idea why - bet they could if they tried!

Loopy_Girl

maggied wrote: »

Hi All

She's also said that she has informed the IR that she'll only be claiming for half the school holidays, meaning that OH will have to pay full price for childcare on 'his' weeks as he can't make a claim against it.

Aye, I bet she has *rolls eyes*...more like she's pocketing the full 80% (and yes, it's 80% for a lone parent) reduction and then you/hubby are having to pay full whack on your weeks.

Some women should just not be breeding.

And I wouls defo say that the stress is hampering your attempt to get pregnant (or is it because you are anorexic?!!!:p) which is a bloody shame for you and hubby:mad:

My tip is to try 3 bottles of Rose wine :T - worked a treat for me!!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: (3 bottles - jesus, I can't even finish a full bottle now before having to stumble my way to bed!!! ahhh to be young and alcohol tolerant!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)