My lodger's boyfriend is outstaying his welcome

BitterAndTwisted

Oh, you're absolutely right. Observing that the b/f being there too much might open the door for the friend and b/f to offer more rent as compensation for the higher utility bills and before you know it, the bloke's moved in permanently and will be harder to shift than a case of the boils.

WhiteHorse

BitterAndTwisted wrote:

... and before you know it, the bloke's moved in permanently and will be harder to shift than a case of the boils.

Very true. To all intents and purposes, he's moved in already. This is the last chance to regain control of the situation.

Goodwill_2

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

So pleased I found this site to use as a sounding board, mainly because you are all impartial. My lodger and I have mutual friends so didn't want to stick them in the middle of any potential dispute so really appreciate all your comments. Even the brutal ones :P Makes me feel like I'm not actually being that hard on her.

She'll be home in a bit so I'm going to get a bottle of wine, sit down with her and just talk to her as a friend. If she doesn't think I'm being reasonable then I will give her the option to move out without any hard feelings as I do understand she wants to spend time with her boyfriend. I just hope she understands I don't want to spend as much time with him

As others have mentioned I'm not going to mention money, that's not the thing that's bothering me. It's not having my space after I have given her some. I think I'll be using the word consideration ALOT.

Will keep you posted tomorrow on how it went.

Thanks again!!

clutton_2

good luck....

missile

It is your house make whatever rules you deem suitable, but it will be difficult.

I would say, this is not a hotel, no overnight guests unless they pay £............ in advance.

maninthestreet

Remember, the BF would be considered a trespasser if he continues to enter your property without your permission.

Goodwill_2

A quick update:

I spoke to my friend last night and it went really well, she completely understood where I was coming from and didn't think my suggestion of 3 nights max over 7 was unreasonable. She agreed that he needs to get his own place and not assume he can stay at ours all the time which I was really pleased about.

Apparently the only reason he stayed over so much last week was because they were both off work. She apologised and said it would not happen again and would ask permission next time.

I'm so glad I had other people's advice as it reassured me that I was not overeacting and therefore was able to approach the situation calmly - I really don't like any form of confrontation but I am getting better

So in the end it was a slight break down of communication and I'm confident that it won't happen again but will let you know if it does so watch this space.

What I've learnt from renting out to friends? State exactly what I want from the arrangment!!

Thanks to everyone that commented.

missile

Pleased you cleared the air and I hope your friend keeps to her word.