Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

lisawaters

itsgazza wrote: »

Lisa

I'm not sure exactly how you would go about this but ........

As the property needs approx £20K spending on it to increase the value by £100K could you not search out a reputable builder who would do the work in exchange for a percentage of the increase in equity that would be achieved , You could agree to pay this over when the property was sold.

I've asked a couple but they're all trying to stay afloat and need cashflow. I'd pay a high rate of interest for a loan but only to someone I know.

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

If you were to put this story in the paper/magazine and include pictures i`m sure you would get lots of volunteers or at least donated materials to help you make your home more livable for now!

It is definately worth a go!

You may be down but you sure are positive I think the key here is to get your health in order.
Then get yourself a small job albeit a cleaning or stacking shelves one so you then have a bit of money AND some `outside of home` time.

I do feel quite positive, energetic and angry! All because so many people have said I'm doing the right thing and it's him and the system that are wrong. You know what it's like - you take so much then something important to you is threatened and you go MAD!

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

Even not naming him could get help from somewhere!

[bold]I've decided to go public. I'm speaking to a reporter on the local city newspaper. He's appalled, poor lad! I wasn't sure about being named or pictured (Sobbing amongst the wreckage, a child's toy crushed in the rubble etc) but I thought - sodit. Why not. They're phoning him tonight for his side of the story. It won't get me my money any quicker but it's not coming anyway, so it will be lovely when all his grubby friends and his kids' friends' parents and his neighbours read what a nasty little man they have i their midst. I have contacted lots of radio stations too. Only one response so far but hey! Maybe this is going to be a new career.

lisawaters

Britwife wrote: »

Hey hun, so sorry for all that is going on. I agree, you really need to let go of the anger to move forward. I've had life altering events in my life that would cause one to cease in living and trust me, I've thought of it. I'm not longer that person and hopefully have beaten the statistics.

What I should ask is do you actually have functioning heat and electric? I know you said you sold your jag for a boiler and radiators but are they functioning? If they aren't I wonder if you can get your council in to help things. Have you tried the warm front grant for anything you might be qualified for? Not sure who you would contact but you can't live in a house if it isn't up to safety standards and I'm wondering if your council offers assistance on these things. Or if anyone else on here knows?

I would definately write to the papers and magazines to see if they will print your story and help in getting donations. You could also go and talk to your local tradesmen to see if they would be willing to offer any help. Even if they only do plumbing or electrical.

You have to fight this hun, and I mean fight for your health. Make a list of things that need to get done in order of importance and list the cost. Perhaps take a look at the list and see if there is anything you can do on your own. DIY is fun, I miss it since we now rent but with lots of reasearch you can do anything you can put your mind to, well except those that need a specialist such as gas and electrics.

For the freecycle, post items that you need as a wanted ad. Check with builders to see if they will even donate salvageable items like doors and windows if needed. I actually don't know what they do with all that stuff but my neighbors had new window put in and the old ones looked perfectly fine and they look just like the ones they replaced them with. So worth a try for anything.

Loads and loads of hugs to you. Be strong and confident.....YOU will make it through this.

Aw, thank you!

The boiler does hot water for the sink and shower. The house is hard to heat as it has holes where cats can get in! I've blocked up everything I can with loft insulation and polythene. and the living room walls and rafters are covered in Tesco value sheets! I got sick of looking at wires and bricks!

I think I'm getting every grant I'm eligible for - i.e. NONE! There's money if you're over 60. Won't be long though!

I have made a list which is about 6 foot long and the prices are eye watering to me and simply not do-able. Good thinking about Freecycle want ads. I'll try that.

lisawaters

SouthernBellE* wrote: »

Hi Hun,

I've been reading through some of the posts and suggestions. I know you said that you weren't to keen on being put in the public eye but I do think the magazine and newspaper angle is a good idea. Apart from highlighting the problems this thieving git has caused you, It could lead to offers from local tradesmen to help out, good publicity for them. It could help with people donating leftover materials from building sites or home DIYers. I know this guy has shaken your faith in people but there are far more good people out there than bad. This could happen to anyone and we all know that, people will understand. Its goodwill towards someone who has suffered because of a greedy builders actions. If you're unsure, maybe writing to the git and threatening to do this will spur him on to do right by you. I'm sure a letter to his wife would. Chances are their neighbours think they are a perfectly respectable couple, the threat of humiliation among everyone they know could be the push they need. You said yourself that he admitted stealing the money, I don't believe the wife didn't know. Like you said, he probably cleared their own debts. What was your money spent on, new furniture or fittings in their own house maybe! They should be ashamed of the hardship they've caused you and a name and shame would at least give you the satisfaction that this situation would have a negative impact to their life. You reap what you sow, 'bout time they were shown for what they truly are. Sorry for rant, just so very wrong!

It is wrong! And the support here's making me braver and angry. See previous note about contact with local media. Also hoping some Watchdog/One Show writers will get interested.

I imagine his wife's fat and ugly and stupid and doesn't care where the money comes from so long as she gets a nice 4X4 to go to bingo in! It makes me feel better to hate her too!

lisawaters

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

I didnt want to read and run im so sorry about this carry on, i dont know what to suggest, when you give in good faith you expect a job done surely there is more that can be done, does his wife know what he has done? can you not tarnish his business report him in a paper, he will loose out on business will he not i dont know what i would do myself arghhhhh .... can you try again to get the cash back ? or tell him he has to finish the job ?? what about reporting him to a standards agency ? im so very sorry for you x

I really don't want him back in the house even if he does it for free!

SouthernBellE*

Hi Hun, Had worried about you all day. Good luck with the media route, I hope you get a good response and hopefully, some offers of help getting things done. I'd love to see you come out on top of this horrid situation. I know I said about his wife probably knowing, its only my opinion but considering money gets paid into her account, I'd be surprised if she didn't. Don't know legalities about naming the builder so be careful, check it out first. I'd hate for you to end up in hot water. Totally wrong I know, he should be named, BUT he does seem to know his way round the legal system. Best of luck. Hope you didn't mind the PM

lisawaters

Britwife wrote: »

I forgot to mention something else. You said that one program wasn't willing to help you because there were no other complaints against him. However, you also said that he now works with a builder. So that sounds as though he is no longer in business and I wonder if he has left a wake in his path with other customers. Some just don't report because they are embarrased.

I wonder if there is a way to find previous customers and see what they think.

To the pp, we can't assume the wife knows. This guy (her husband) is obviously a scammer and is good at it. If he doesn't have issues scamming the innocent, he won't have issues scamming his wife. For all she knows, he was going out to work daily and bringing home a load of bacon just made him look like a sucessful builder.

She may not even know now the full extent of what her husband has done. I'm sure if she doesn't, she will soon.

This is an interesting point. I think you could be right about her knowledge. I have no reason to think she might be more reasonable, but I do. The wives always seem pretty normal.

Maybe I will write her a letter describing all the stuff her husband's callousness has caused. If she was a real star she might agree to the house being sold as it's in her control. Depends how much she likes him. Might think he's wonderful! I think I may try this. It'll annoy him anyway...

lisawaters

SouthernBellE* wrote: »

Hi Hun, Had worried about you all day. Good luck with the media route, I hope you get a good response and hopefully, some offers of help getting things done. I'd love to see you come out on top of this horrid situation. I know I said about his wife probably knowing, its only my opinion but considering money gets paid into her account, I'd be surprised if she didn't. Don't know legalities about naming the builder so be careful, check it out first. I'd hate for you to end up in hot water. Totally wrong I know, he should be named, BUT he does seem to know his way round the legal system. Best of luck. Hope PM didn't freak you out!!!

Oooh you're so kind. I am replying to your PM next!

never-in-doubt

Its perfectly fine to go to the press, so long as you give facts and not opinion (i.e. say he promised this and promised that - do not say he's a to$$er who should be shot!) then it is perfectly legal to go to the press. Any slander/libel would be direct with the press dependent how they word the article - however, not for you to worry over.

At the end of the day, may be worth asking the paper if the builder will agree to repay before they print the story and ruin his reputation, thus he'd be out of business soon enough as a result...

I'd also look to sell it to a magazine before the local paper as magazines pay for exclusives like this, take a break will pay £500 - its better than nothing I guess....

Good Luck whatever you do.