Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

SouthernBellE*

Hi Hun,

I've been reading through some of the posts and suggestions. I know you said that you weren't to keen on being put in the public eye but I do think the magazine and newspaper angle is a good idea. Apart from highlighting the problems this thieving git has caused you, It could lead to offers from local tradesmen to help out, good publicity for them. It could help with people donating leftover materials from building sites or home DIYers. I know this guy has shaken your faith in people but there are far more good people out there than bad. This could happen to anyone and we all know that, people will understand. Its goodwill towards someone who has suffered because of a greedy builders actions. If you're unsure, maybe writing to the git and threatening to do this will spur him on to do right by you. I'm sure a letter to his wife would. Chances are their neighbours think they are a perfectly respectable couple, the threat of humiliation among everyone they know could be the push they need. You said yourself that he admitted stealing the money, I don't believe the wife didn't know. Like you said, he probably cleared their own debts. What was your money spent on, new furniture or fittings in their own house maybe! They should be ashamed of the hardship they've caused you and a name and shame would at least give you the satisfaction that this situation would have a negative impact to their life. You reap what you sow, 'bout time they were shown for what they truly are. Sorry for rant, just so very wrong!

Britwife

I forgot to mention something else. You said that one program wasn't willing to help you because there were no other complaints against him. However, you also said that he now works with a builder. So that sounds as though he is no longer in business and I wonder if he has left a wake in his path with other customers. Some just don't report because they are embarrased.

I wonder if there is a way to find previous customers and see what they think.

To the pp, we can't assume the wife knows. This guy (her husband) is obviously a scammer and is good at it. If he doesn't have issues scamming the innocent, he won't have issues scamming his wife. For all she knows, he was going out to work daily and bringing home a load of bacon just made him look like a sucessful builder.

She may not even know now the full extent of what her husband has done. I'm sure if she doesn't, she will soon.

Ames

You could ask on the DIY forum here to see if there's anything you'd be able to do yourself in the house? My dad does all his own plumbing, which doesn't seem to be that hard, and from what I've heard you could probably have a shot at plastering. OK, it wouldn't be the best job in the world but it'd be find as a put on until you can afford to get it redone by a pro.

Freecycle/freegle also have lots of things like kitchen units and windows offered in my area, again not ideal but it'll do for now.

For the windows, could you put chipboard or something over then while it's winter, to keep the place a bit warmer? It'll be dark but at least you'd be warm.

I don't know why you're sleeping on a lilo, again, look on freecycle for a bed, or at least a proper mattress.

For cooking, have you thought about getting one of those little caravan type cookers that just plug in? That's what I've got and it cooks everything fine, you'd probably be able to pick one up on freecycle.

lisawaters

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Hello Lisa, I can see your light is on, I came by to check on you. I hope you feel a little less lonely tonight. There is a way to sort this out I am sure.

Remember your kids love you and we are all here to listen and try and help

Thinking of you

Buffyxxx

That's really sweet! (Not creepy at all!)

lisawaters

NGlady wrote: »

Sorry im no expert, but something occured to me.
Have you got any talents, perhaps your a maths wizz or something and could offer somebody a few hours of your time for books etc or good with kids and could offer some babysitting hours in exchange for labour hours? Well, is there a website (im sure there is) where you can "trade services" so there would be service men on there who would be willing to help out?
Perhaps speak to your local newspaper, see if theres anybody in your local area who could spare a few afternoons to help this bad situation. Im sure there would be some retired/out of work trades people who would love to have something to do for a few afternoons? Maybe big it up that somebody could gain some experience from your house in exchange for a very greatful lady and unlimited tea and buiscuits?
What about talking to your local colleges? Could you possibly open your house up to, for example a plastering class. You provide the walls and the tea, they provide the labour?

I did approach the local college about a year ago. I'll chase them up. It's a very good idea. Tea AND biscuits? Easy Tiger!

lisawaters

SouthernBellE* wrote: »

Hi Lisa, (MSE NEWBIE - SORRY NO EXPERT)

So sorry to hear you've had such a bad run of things. Had similar problems myself and know the effect it can have on your health. (Told my doctor I was convinced an unseen force was working against me because nothing went right!
surprised he didn't have me commited right there and then).
I sincerely hope this nightmare ends & that the builder responsible for causing you such stress and financial difficulty gets his just desserts!!! It's infuriating that he gets to live comfortably after leaving you in such a mess. Sorry I have no answer to give but sincerely hope that things do turn out well for you & you eventually get your dream home. I also hope that the builder gets whats coming to him. They do say what goes around, comes around. I really hope so. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Bad enough he's got away with your money thus far, don't let him take your health too. If all else fails, do you reckon he declared all income to the tax man. Taxman is at least someone who could get nasty little worm locked up for fiddling!!! Very best of luck to you with everything.

I'm pretty sure he's evading tax. And he knows I know. I had to pay thousands into his wife's bank account...

lisawaters

slummymummyof3 wrote: »

Have you got any skills that you can trade with a plasterer/leccy etc?

Have you thought about putting an advert up in local shops for unwanted plasterboard etc?

Graphic design isn't something most plasterers need! I'll think about it though!

lisawaters

redlady_1 wrote: »

I lost everything through a divorce. Well actually, he persuaded me to give him my money first (no I am not blonde!) The anger I felt was raging but I realised that sometimes life throws things at us for a reason. 5 years later and I have just got back on my feet. Retrained in a new career, own place, car etc and my revenge is I am a survivor. He can be sat on probably 200k in the bank (much of which was mine!) I know that the very fact that I have my head still held high and havent crumbled will seriously annoy him! And you too can get through this. Just dig real deep inside and you never know what you will find.

You lose £20k but you gain your sanity (and some warmth and cleanliness), and that is priceless. And you do have your family. They might not have the cash to bail you out but they love you. That too, cannot be bought.

By the way, ever thought of asking the tax office to investigate his affairs??!

If I walk away from the house and give it back to the lender I'll still owe them £20,000. And I have no savings left or income. I doubt I'd get a palatial council house. Too risky but could happen eventually.

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

If you were to put this story in the paper/magazine and include pictures i`m sure you would get lots of volunteers or at least donated materials to help you make your home more livable for now!

It is definately worth a go!

You may be down but you sure are positive I think the key here is to get your health in order.
Then get yourself a small job albeit a cleaning or stacking shelves one so you then have a bit of money AND some `outside of home` time.

Very good advice. I like that! I'd feel uncomfortable appealing for help publicly...!

Ames

I'd imagine most plasterers would love a graphic designer to come up with a logo, business cards, letter heads, posters etc.

You wouldn't get a council house if you hand the keys back, you'll have a lot more chance if you're evicted. Palatial though is a bit much to ask for! Although I'm pretty happy with the size of mine.