Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

museumworker

I wish you all the very best of luck in recovering your money. I hope the local paper takes up your story. I would also echo other people's comments about getting proper support for your depression.

Regarding the letter, I personally think you should not send it. Although this is not your intention, if the wife knows nothing about this she could find it threatening - I know I would if somebody wrote to me out of the blue and was telling me to consider selling my house! If she does know, its not going to make a difference anyway.

You are angry with very just reason, however the anger can come across as aggression and I think perhaps when you are less angry/depressed you might be in a better position to reassess the situation. I hope you do not take this as a criticism, I just think the letter will make the situation worse and alienate the wife, if she is not already aware of the situation.

Hopefully once the story is published, the family may be shamed into reimbursing you money.

There have been some great suggestions on this thread regarding how to make the best of the house without any money - putting energy into moving the house on could be very good therapy!

MissShoes

Hi Lisa

just read all of this. I am so angry on your behalf! I am so sorry this happened- I think you are doing the right thing by contacting magazines, papers and tv programmes.

Rogue Traders
Cowboy Builders
Watchdog
DIY SOS
Tommy Fixes Your House for Free (or something like that)

Have you thought about rather than calling, or writing, recording a video of the state of the house and you addressing the camera? Might have more of an impact? If not happy to do this, make sure youinclude photos etc with your letters.

Whereabouts in the country are you?

Love Shoes

xx

lisawaters

Too tired to reply individually tonight. Sorry. But have read every word and am incredibly grateful for all the comments and specially the hugs and good wishes.

I hope the local paper does decide to run the story. I should hear tomorrow.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

savingmummy

Lisa i am rooting for you

If i was his wife he would of been kicked out quite literally tbh!
He would of also given you the money back.

Good luck let us know about the papers/mags - if they knock it back reapply again and again!!! x

BILLIE

Hi Lisa - this man shouldn't get away with all of this. My OH has been out of work for 18 months and if we are in the same part of the country he may be able to help. Come on whereabouts are you? PM me if you don't want to say on this thread. Good luck and lots of virtual hugs Bilie xx

SouthernBellE*

Hope they do and hope it works.

Can't tell you which way to jump as far as the letter goes. Although I agree with Never-In-Doubts view that wife probably knows OH is dodgy and justs asks no questions, I think I'd wait for verdict from publishers before final decision on sending it.

Glad you're fighting on, don't think I'd have coped half as well as you have and wouldn't have had a clue where to start. I'm A Fan!!!

I'll keep checking your thread for updates...You've got your own little cheerleading squad over here.

Fingers AND toes crossed for tomorrow.

EAT SOMETHING and watch your sugar levels and TRY to get a good nights sleep!!!!

Buffythedebtslayer

I would send the letter - do mark it without predjuice and write to as many tvproga/papers as you can = what do you have to lose?

I get mad with the guy who legged it with two quid and didn't build our fence God knows how you move past the anger about a whole house. I guess it is a case of putting into the fight in to getting the money and getting some help.

Please take care of yourself you have two kids who love you and the chance (how ever little it seems) to have the house of your dreams.

plus now you have cheer leaders.

keep us updated please!

Buffy
xxx

slummymummyof3

lisawaters wrote: »

Graphic design isn't something most plasterers need! I'll think about it though!

It might not be what a plasterer needs but it could be just what a college needs........they may well be able to give you some guest speaker work or some regular hours. Be aware though, if you do regular hours for a college, you will be expected to do on the job teacher training.

What area of the country are you?

tyllwyd

About the letter - I'd say definitely do not send it. You don't know the wife or their situation, and some of it definitely comes across as threatening. Once these things are put down in writing, they can't be taken back and you don't know how something that looks quite reasonable to you will sound to her when she's reading it. I'd say she is probably very well aware that things have gone wrong for his business, even if she doesn't know the details of your case - maybe she is terrified for her own family, and losing her family home, and under huge pressure herself.

Personally, reading your thread about your situation, I think you need to try to take a step back. Forgetting about the money you are owed (there is a very good chance it may never come), what is the best thing for you? You are getting more and more depressed living in a building site - if there is no reasonable prospect of ever making it OK for you to live in, maybe you need to cut your losses and find some way to get out now. Maybe you need to let go of the idea of this profit you might make in the future, and get on with the rest of your life.

RAS

lisawaters wrote: »

I am considering sending this letter to the builder's wife personally. Any thoughts?


Dear Helen


We haven’t met, but you are possibly aware that your husband has admitted in court that he stole a large amount of money from me 18 months ago and that he was given a County Court Judgment, and the court subsequently awarded me a final charging order on your house on January 5, 2010. I don’t know how much you know, or how much or how little he has told you. But it’s all a matter of public record now and I am sure you would want to be aware of this. I had a call from your local paper this afternoon and they’re thinking about doing a story about builders who steal from customers. I told them what had happened over the job I employed your husband to do. They could have obtained the details from the public court reports. If it is published, we will be contacted by other reporters.

I'm living in a building site, in debt, broke, clinically depressed and on benefits. This is all directly linked to his consistent refusal to refund the money he stole and the stress over the past 18 months of trying to recover it.

I bought my house in February 2008 I had just enough money to renovate it, and your husband was recommended. He agreed to do the job and gave me an inclusive fixed quotation in writing. He asked for £20,000 in advance, and because he was recommended, I paid this. It was paid into your personal current account. More requests for money were met promptly and in full. I had no problem with the work he was doing.

Then he left the site.

After nine weeks of excuses it was clear he wasn't coming back. After many calls to him I engaged a solicitor to recover the money. I have been signed off work by my GP because of the physical and mental effects of this matter. My incapacity benefit was stopped in October and I have been living on about £50 a week in the shell of the house he walked away from, since then.

The solicitor obtained a CCJ against him for £22,050. She wanted several thousand pounds more from me to obtain a charging order against him. I couldn't pay her as I'd spent the last of my savings on a roof and my car was sold to buy a boiler and bathroom suite and I had to move in to the cottage, so I have had to process each stage myself. Living in the cottage was like camping on a building site. Dust got into everything, there was a single cold tap in the garage, and power came through four extension leads. It still does. There were no ceilings, walls or doors, and he left a huge hole in the back wall which was open to the weather and holes where windows I'd paid for should have been fitted. Water was pouring through the roof onto the first floor. This is how he left the house after promising for months that he was about to finish it and insisting I gave him a total of £38,500. I used the showers at the nearby swimming pool for several weeks. The cottage got a lot colder that January. And this January was worse. And I am still washing up dishes in the bathroom sink.

I obtained a final charging order against him last month. Outside the courtroom he promised he'd get a loan for the money he admitted to the judge he owed me but he did nothing further about it despite knowing that my next option was to obtain an order forcing him to sell your house so I would receive my money from the proceeds. I even offered him a couple of thousand pounds off if he paid in seven days. He said repeatedly that he needed to talk to you about the figures. Maybe he did? Five weeks passed and he did nothing except promise to ring me. I even left a message with you on one occasion. Did you understand what he was doing and why I needed to talk to him?

Because your house is in your joint names and the debt is his alone, it will be more complicated but not impossible for me to get the next stage, which is a court order forcing you to sell it. If I cannot get this, I still have quite a few options. I don’t particularly want you to have to sell your home, but it’s the best way of getting my money back if he continues to refuse to take out a loan. I sometimes haven’t got enough money for petrol and food to have my teenage sons stay with me for the weekend. He’s got £22,050 of my money.

I paid £170k for the house and never argued with his quotation for the work I wanted done. The house is currently worth £150k at most now because he left it in the middle of the work and it would probably only sell to another builder. It will only cost about £20k to finish it. That’s almost exactly what he owes me.


I will be able to get an Attachment to Earnings against him. He said under oath that he turns over £100,000 a year but hasn’t shown a profit or paid income tax for at least a year. He claimed that you also contribute to the household income quite significantly. Obviously you benefit from the money he earns or withholds from clients, so you are personally connected with this matter and the county court may wish to question you under oath. I obtain free legal aid and I can go on indefinitely pursuing this. I will get my money whenever your house is sold or you move or remortgage it, plus interest at 8 per cent. This means the amount you owe me will double every few years That asset will pass on to my children, so they will get it if I don’t.

I hope that most of what I have told you comes as a surprise. I would hope you were not aware of it. If you know all this anyway, there’s nothing more I can really add. I have tried to meet you husband half way all along but there is no point now.

If you are shocked at his behaviour and refusal to pay me back what he admits he stole, so that I can finish the house and be spared further problems, you may wish to let him know how you feel. You might also want to agree as a joint tenant in common that your house should be sold or remortgaged or a loan should be taken out against the very large amount of equity your house has built up.

I am sorry that I can’t help you make this decision.


Yours faithfully

You need to be very careful with this; unless he has been convicted of theft, you cannot accuse him of stealing.

Back later.